Commercial Decision Design

Author: Jacques de Villiers

  • Know Better Do Better

    Know Better Do Better

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 31/365

    Many of us struggle with guilt our entire lives and some try to avoid the consequences of our actions by denying guilt.

    I don’t know about you, but I’m on a first-name basis with guilt.

    I realised that my lack of knowledge and unconscious parenting has put my child at a disadvantage. The book “The Biology of Belief” by Bruce H. Lipton helped me understand this.

    That makes me feel guilty.

    That I couldn’t protect my mother from an abusive husband makes me feel guilty.

    I have a notion that guilt should be treated like BC (before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini – ‘in the year of the Lord’). Let’s call it ignorance and enlightenment.

    When we are ignorant we can absolve ourselves of guilt.

    When we are enlightened, we can’t.

    When I was a child I was unable to protect my mother. I now realise that I couldn’t have done better and shouldn’t have been put in the position of having to protect her. So there’s no guilt there.

    Despite my best efforts to disadvantage my child, they have turned into an extraordinary human being. I didn’t know better. So, there’s no guilt there. If I was to become a parent now, I’d have no excuse for making the same mistakes. I’d know better. I’d do better.

    So, why, when I know better, don’t I do better? Why do I keep making the same mistakes in different areas of my life and putting myself at a disadvantage?

    • Why do I choose chips over salad?
    • Why do I sleep in instead of exercise?
    • Why do I choose to dull my pain with pills instead of overcoming it with consciousness?
    • Why do I choose unhealthy habits over healthy habits?
    • Why do I alienate myself instead of building positive relationships?
    • Why do I choose unkindness instead of compassion?
    • Why do I choose cynicism over optimism?

    These are not easy questions to answer. They’re definitely symptoms of a lower frequency: shame, apathy, guilt, grief and anger. 

    These are the frequencies of death. Perhaps I’m just too cowardly to die quickly, so I choose to die slowly.

    I know better of course. That I’m still here means something. It means that I still have something to contribute to this consciousness. I’m still of value. I’m still love. I’m still a work of art. I’m still a masterpiece creating a master-work. I still have work to do.

    I know better that’s why I’ll keep trying to do better.

  • The Fuckening

    The Fuckening

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 30/365

    I found a beautiful Facebook post by My Little Witch that talks about how we create (spell) our reality.

    The Fuckening

    When your day is going too well, and you don’t trust it and some shit finally goes down.

    Ah, there it is, the fuckening. 

    I don’t know about you, but I sometimes snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I’ve caught myself thinking things like:

    • This is too good to be true. (When it comes to investments hidden as Ponzi schemes, it probably is too good to be true). 
    • Bad things happen in threes.
    • This will never last.
    • It was just a fluke (when you speak universe, you know there is no such thing as a fluke).

    Have you ever had a ‘well-meaning’ friend put the above thoughts into your head? Don’t you just want to scream when they jinx things? 

    • When you’re in a new relationship, “Be careful, you know how you got hurt last time.” Thanks for that, I wasn’t thinking that until you said it. Now why don’t I create that self-fulfilling prophecy for myself?
    • When you get a new car, “It’s lovely. Wow, your insurance must be expensive. The fuel as well.” That didn’t occur to me, but thanks for sucking the fun out of my experience.

    I shared an incident that happened to me on the Noordhoek beach with a friend.

    I told my friend that I’d met a woman on the way to the car park from the beach, and we got chatting. I stubbed my toe on a rock on the way. My friend said, “Oh, what are you not trusting?” Clearly she’s a toe whisperer. I was more Freud about it, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” The woman was beautiful, and I was admiring her and not watching where I was going. More clumsy and distracted than ‘not trusting’, I thought. But I humoured her because when it comes to things spiritual and assigning meaning to things, she’s really smart.

    I pondered about my trust issues that day. Phew, that opened a can of worms which I believe carried into the next day.

    I used to walk up Chapman’s Peak every morning and down a well-trodden path through Monkey Valley to the beach. I’d walked that path every day for nearly 10 months without mishap. I’m still pondering my trust issues and found myself focusing on not falling. I stepped on a rock that I’d stepped on hundreds of times with no incident. I fell, and my knee got cut. What the fuckening?

    I phoned her and told her what had happened. She said, “Oh, why are you so inflexible? You must absolutely explore that!” Not only is she the toe whisperer, but the knee whisperer as well.

    I’m thinking, fuckening that. It’s bad enough having trust issues, now I have to explore my inflexibility too. I don’t think so.   

    She then said, “Watch out, bad things happen in threes.”

    Fuckening that, I’m not going for a swim like I normally do. I know that shark is waiting just for me. 

  • Slapping The Creator

    Slapping The Creator

    Jacques de Villiers  writing quest: Article 29/365

    I got triggered the other day.

    I’ve been looking for CV writers to help me with my LinkedIn clients who need their resumes updated. I found two of them; highly experienced recruitment professionals. Both gifts from God.

    From a business standpoint, a blessing. One charges R900 per CV and the other one, R250. I charge R3 500 for a CV, so if I pass the work onto them, I can make a tidy profit. Maybe I’ll do that, but I doubt my conscience will allow it. I’m not in the habit of employing slave labour. In my experience, it takes around five hours to knock a CV up. So, the one makes R180 an hour and the other, R50 an hour.

    That doesn’t sound like a good deal for them at all. It is apparent that I don’t need to feel guilty for paying low wages, they have already enslaved themselves with their beliefs.

    I would go so far as to say that it is an insult to the unlimited potential that courses through them. It’s akin to a slap in the face of their creator.

    I had to ask why I’m triggered? Easy. I was that person. I was worse, actually.  I used to give advice for free. And, the dirty little secret that I carry with me is that I still do. 

    Just the other day I presented a keynote to 200 or so people at a conference. A delegate contacted me to schedule a meeting. She liked my presentation and wanted advice on becoming a speaker.

    I was there with bells on it, and even paid for the coffee.

    Speaker coaches command high fees for just an hour of their expertise. Me, I just give it up for free.

    What’s with that? 

    Do I need validation so much that I don’t respect my value or my time? Have I got nothing better to do? Do I value myself so little?

    Those are the questions that I’ll be pondering this weekend. 

    You’re smart. Don’t be disrespectful and sad like me. You should charge like a grown-up. Remain true to your integrity. Inspire pride in your creator. 

  • Learning To Speak Universe

    Learning To Speak Universe

    Jacques – writing quest: Article 28/365

    I got lost coming out of Vanderbijlpark, today. I know right, how does one do that? Evidently one can. Instead of going on the R59, I ended up on the N1 where I had to pay a toll at Grasmere Plaza. 

    This morning before I left for Vanderbijlpark, I saw R30 on my kitchen table. I nearly left it there, but something told me to take it. Perhaps I could get a coffee? Only credit cards and cash are accepted as payment for the toll. I had a debit card which wasn’t acceptable. Luckily I had the R30. Once again my universe came to the rescue.

    I remember when I was visiting my child in George last year. We decided to take a drive to Sedgefield, some 38 kilometres away. We were about five kilometres out of George when my child realised that they had left something at the house. So, we had to go back. I wasn’t stressed because I speak ‘universe’ and I knew something was afoot. All things are for my good.

    On our way back from Sedgefield we ran out of petrol (don’t ask) right next to the Caltex petrol station in the Wilderness. We managed to push the car to the station and sorted things out.

    Had we not gone back to the house to fetch something, we would have run out of petrol up the hill near Dolphin’s Point. There is nowhere for a car to pull over, and I would have blocked the traffic going back to George. It would have been a real hassle and probably taken a couple of hours to sort out, instead of the 20-minute detour at the petrol station.

    What are the chances of us running out of fuel right next to a petrol station? Pretty good, when you learn to speak universe.

  • Hope: The Nocebo Placebo

    Hope: The Nocebo Placebo

    Jacques – writing quest: Article 27/365

    We’ve all heard of the Placebo effect, when someone feels better after receiving a treatment that isn’t supposed to work.

    The opposite of that is the Nocebo effect. It happens when someone expects a negative response or anticipates negative effects from an experience.

    Some people dismiss these as quackery. I believe them to be true. When I see the world through rose-tinted glasses, as my ally, my world becomes rosy. When I see the world as my enemy, then it turns against me. 

    In 1974, Dr. Clifton Meador treated a patient named Sam Londe who had oesophageal cancer. At the time it was considered 100% fatal. Even though he was treated for it, everyone ‘knew’ that it would recur. He died a few weeks after his diagnosis.

    After his autopsy, very little cancer was found in his body, certainly not enough to kill him. There were a few spots in his liver and one in his lung, but no trace of the oesophageal cancer that was believed to have killed him. 

    His doctor believed he was going to die as did he. So, he died – with cancer, not from cancer. 

    This is one of thousands of examples of the Placebo/Nocebo effect.

    It is evident that a doctor’s (our) own bias on a situation can have a negative or positive effect. Her thoughts and words can either instil hope or hopelessness.

    Once again it is clear that thoughts, words and deeds have tremendous power. We all have a duty to ourselves and others to speak and behave appropriately and with hope. Once apathy (*50) kicks in poverty, despair and hopelessness follow.

    It stands to reason that when hope is abandoned, so is the reason to live, and death must follow soon after.

    Let’s not die just yet. There’s still work for you and I to do. That we’re still alive is testament to that. When hope is alive, and we see a future pregnant with promise, then this journey becomes a worthwhile experience. I’m putting on my rose-tinted glasses. Care to join me? 

    *David R. Hawkins’s Map of Consciousness

  • How Big Is Your Fishbowl?

    How Big Is Your Fishbowl?

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 26/365

    When it comes to potential, goldfish and humans aren’t that much different.

    Have you noticed that the smaller the fishbowl, the smaller the goldfish? That’s only a third of the story, of course. Genetics and the quality & quantity of the food it eats play a decisive role too.

    A goldfish kept in a small aquarium for four years, when moved to a larger aquarium, can have a growth spurt and almost reach the size it would have been if it had been in the large tank all along.

    Humans are the same. Our birthright is pure potential (genetics). The books we read, the work we study, the people we hang out with and the events we are exposed to are akin to food.

    Nutritious food makes us healthier. Being emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy increases our chances of achieving our full potential.

    All we need is to add a dollop of courage to the mix so that we can move to a bigger pond and grow to our full potential.

    That, of course, is where most of us are stymied. We don’t have the courage to take our birthright out of the small fishbowl into a bigger fishbowl. 

    The bigger our fishbowl, the bigger our circle of influence, the bigger (magnificent) we become. As we grow (more magnificent) we seek larger environments, from a fishbowl to an ocean to the universe. 

    It is only when we become courageous that true power occurs, and we can claim the universe. Courage is the zone of exploration, accomplishment, fortitude and determination. In this zone we are willing to try new things and overcome the obstacles that life puts in our way. This is the zone where we learn new things and grow. 

    Let’s start getting comfortable with courage. Let’s move out of our comfort zone and into the unknown, where we can create and manifest our deepest desires. Courage ensures that we fulfil our potential. It’s the fuel that allows us to jump from a small fishbowl and claim the entire universe, which is our birthright, after all.  Are you ready to jump? Let’s do this together, you and I.

  • How To Take Responsibility In A Muggled-Up World

    How To Take Responsibility In A Muggled-Up World

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 25/365

    A couple of months ago, a spiritually enlightened being who I greatly admire said something about dealing with Muggles.

    Muggles in the Harry Potter series refer to those who show no magical ability. For example, people who live unaware of the magical world are called Muggles by witches and wizards with magical ability.

    That triggered me into thinking, “Mmm, that’s a bit judgy and superior of you, isn’t it?”

    I know that if I’d pressed him, and allowed him to expand on the statement, he would have come up with an answer that would have made me look judgy.

    Then the other day a friend on Facebook put up an image that had this on, “We live in a world where the intelligent must keep quiet so that the stupid will not be offended.”

    The bitch in me thought, “Mmm, how ignorant of you to think that you’re smart. Perhaps you’re the stupid one for putting up this stupid post?”

    And, of course, you’re neither stupid nor ignorant. You realise that both these incidents triggered me because there are times when I am full of ego and feel superior (and judgy).

    It’s common for humans to feel superior to others who we consider to be beneath us. You can see this in the places of worship, spiritual communities, places of work and social groups you are part of.

    Here’s the kicker, though. The ‘inferior’ judge the ‘superior’ because we all feel superior. 

    • Don’t think that your personal trainer with 4.5% body fat isn’t judging your slothful, slovenly and shameful 30% body fat? 
    • Don’t think your server at a restaurant doesn’t judge your bad manners and shitty tips? 
    • Your housekeeper is likely disgusted by the dirty underwear and mess you leave for her to clean.

    “Do not judge, or you will be judged.

    Matthew 7:1

    Our journey is not about being superior or inferior, worthy or unworthy, enlightened or unenlightened.

    It’s about location.

    The question should always be, “Where am I located on my path to enlightenment.” As Carlos Casteneda asked, “Who’s to say that the beggar hasn’t found the path before you?” You, with your air of superiority and judgement. 

    All of us are at different stages of our personal consciousness journey. This is exactly as it should be because we’re exactly at the stage of our journey we should be at.

    It is apparent to me that the antidote to superiority and judgement is responsibility. 

    We need to take responsibility to recognise where we are located right now. Once we know this, we can work towards ascending to the next level of our journey towards consciousness.

    We should not consider ourselves superior in any way if we are not ascended masters like Jesus, Mohammed, or Buddha.

    We all exist somewhere on the spectrum between shame (despair/death) and enlightenment (ascended masters). Check out David Hawkins’s Map of Consciousness to find where you’re located. The map helps us understand and explore various levels of consciousness. It shows the potential for personal growth and self-awareness in each of us.

    You may not care to be conscious, and that’s fine. Just understand that neither you nor me are in a position (location) to feel superior and judge anyone. The map has been helpful to me; it may be helpful to you. 

    For me, the more aware I become of my location on the map, the better my life gets financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

  • Guilt Is The Goal

    Guilt Is The Goal

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 24/365.

    I don’t know about you, but for me along with shame *(20), guilt (30) is a strong theme in my life. I feel guilty for not being able to protect my mother from an abusive husband. I feel guilty for being irritated with her that I had to cut into my working day to buy her pills. She was in a coma the next day, and dead a week later. I feel guilty for not being at my father’s deathbed. I feel guilty when I see a beggar on the street and ashamed of my ‘white privilege’. I feel guilty that I don’t have the financial wherewithal to help my child set up the business of their dreams. 

    F*!k me, it took me less than a minute to think of five things to be guilty about. What if I gave guilt more consideration? I might be incapacitated for months thinking upon my “sins” and wallowing in remorse, regret and recrimination; all fuel to my victimhood. 

    It’s hard to avoid feeling sinful and guilty all the time because we’ve been indoctrinated to believe that we were born into this state. I’m laying the blame squarely on the Christian doctrine of original sin, which asserts that humans are born with a flawed nature and an inclination towards sin, requiring spiritual rebirth.

    According to Psalm 51:5, we learn that we were born into a world corrupted by sin, and even our conception is tainted with it. Paul explains in Romans that sin entered the world through one person, leading to death for all due to sin’s universality. 

    Guilt is the goal for “sin and salvation” merchants to coerce and control us. Fear of punishment keeps us in check (and opens our wallets and purses … redemption has a price, after all).

    In my view, those who are fixated on punishment, such as religious institutions, countries, and individuals, are likely driven by their own guilt or projecting it onto others. 

    If we look back at history, and we only need to look a few weeks back, our propensity for cruelty is boundless. David R. Hawkins wrote that guilt provokes rage, and killing frequently is its expression. Capital punishment is an example of how killing gratifies a guilt-ridden populace. I feel that he is right.

    Many people have lifelong struggles with guilt, while others try to avoid guilt by denying it completely. 

    Everything starts with the individual before it corrupts the collective. So, you and I still have some power, albeit only over ourselves. Let’s admit and take responsibility for our wrongs. Once we know better we can do better. Let’s resolve to let go of our guilt. Let’s resolve to do better. If we truly desire to unleash our full and magnificent potential, refraining from indulging in guilt is the key. 

    * Shame and guilt vibrate at 20 and 30 respectively according to the Map of Consciousness.  

  • Whispers in the Wind

    Whispers in the Wind

    Article 23/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    I woke up around 01h00 this morning. Outside it was deathly quiet. The air was so still that even the squadrons of mosquitoes that plagued me every night couldn’t fly. Their wings found no purchase in nothingness.

    It unsettled me.

    The wind plucked up and whispered life back into the night and everything was alright.

    I’d never given much thought to wind until I started reading the works of Carlos Castaneda and his experience with the Yaqui shaman, Don Juan.

    The Yaqui, an indigenous people from Sonora, Mexico, believe that the wind often carries messages from the spirit world.

    I’ve become more in tune with nature as a consequence of reading Castaneda and taking an interest in shamanic practices. 

    Whenever I feel the wind, I look to the trees and shrubs and if I open my perception, and look really carefully, I swear I can see sentience in them. Let’s call them spirits because I can’t think of anything else they could be.

    Sometimes they’re benign and sometimes they’re malevolent. I was once running in Walkerville in the early evening on a quiet road surrounded by open fields and Bluegum trees. This wind rustled through the trees following my footsteps. I stopped and the wind stopped. I started, and the wind started. I felt fear. And, at that moment I was reminded of Carlos Castaneda’s words: ‘In a world where death is the hunter, my friend, there is no time for regrets or doubts. There is only time for decisions.’

    I decided to run, and run fast, I wasn’t going to die that day.

    On another occasion I was running in the morning on a road surrounded by pine trees. The wind whistled through them and I felt the most wonderful sense of peace. I stopped and bathed in it. 

    Later, when I interrogated both instances, I came to the conclusion that somehow I created these experiences.

    In the first instance in Walkerville I remember that I had an extremely negative day.

    And, in the second instance, I’d had a beautiful restful night.

    Perhaps I’m romanticising this. Who can say?

    But, what I definitely know is that my thoughts and attitude at the moment definitely reflect in what happens next. I now stand sentinel over my thoughts and words and guard them vigorously so that nothing negative slips out. 

    The whispers in the wind are real, and they’ve been made by me.

  • Don’t Get Shamed Into Certain Death

    Don’t Get Shamed Into Certain Death

    Article 22/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    Words that are synonymous with South Africa are apartheid and loadshedding. If loadshedding continues for much longer, our country will be recognised for two different periods – apartheid and loadshedding.

    The reason for these two periods is easy to identify: rabid racism and rampant corruption.

    There are two other words that are ingrained into South Africa’s collective lexicon, those are sorry and shame. These are insidious and dangerous, and their reasons are much harder to fathom.

    Have you ever had someone bump into you by accident, and they said “sorry”? I believe that everywhere else in the world where you’re more likely to hear excuse me or pardon.

    I hear the word shame bandied about regularly too. I have a family member who says shame to everything good and bad. I could say, “I won one million rand.” They would say, “Shame, that’s great.” Talk about having one foot on the accelerator and one on the brake.

    Sorry and shame both have very low energy levels in David Hawkins’s Map of Consciousness. Shame is the lowest at 20 and sorry/sorrow would be associated with grief which registers at 75. Just for context, anything registering under 200 is dense and negative. And, really does not serve you and me.

    I’m sure that you, like me, have been shamed. Like me, you have probably shamed others too. I know that I’ve got into some unbelievable mischief that has made me ashamed of myself.

    I sometimes still feel guilty and ashamed for not being able to protect my mother from my abusive step-father when I was young. And, that she said that she was ashamed of me for not being able to do it, didn’t help matters either. In truth, it left an indelible scar on my psyche.

    You may have a different trigger to me, but I’m sure there is one that puts you straight into shame.

    When we experience shame, it’s always painful, we lose face, become discredited and sometimes feel like a non-person. 

    Shame, regardless of how it is perceived, can ultimately lead to the development of neurosis. Shamed people can become shy, withdrawn and introverted. And, if you identify as a perfectionist, be aware shame could be driving you to become rigid, driven and intolerant.

    At its essence, shame is death. In ancient cultures, tribe members who failed to meet the expectations of their community were often banished into exile as a form of punishment. Without the protection of a tribe, a banished member would invariably die.

    I’ve realised that until I deal with my shame, it will keep on hampering me from becoming who I truly was meant to be, a divine masterpiece creating the master-work that is my life.