Know Better Do Better

Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 31/365

Many of us struggle with guilt our entire lives and some try to avoid the consequences of our actions by denying guilt.

I don’t know about you, but I’m on a first-name basis with guilt.

I realised that my lack of knowledge and unconscious parenting has put my child at a disadvantage. The book “The Biology of Belief” by Bruce H. Lipton helped me understand this.

That makes me feel guilty.

That I couldn’t protect my mother from an abusive husband makes me feel guilty.

I have a notion that guilt should be treated like BC (before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini – ‘in the year of the Lord’). Let’s call it ignorance and enlightenment.

When we are ignorant we can absolve ourselves of guilt.

When we are enlightened, we can’t.

When I was a child I was unable to protect my mother. I now realise that I couldn’t have done better and shouldn’t have been put in the position of having to protect her. So there’s no guilt there.

Despite my best efforts to disadvantage my child, they have turned into an extraordinary human being. I didn’t know better. So, there’s no guilt there. If I was to become a parent now, I’d have no excuse for making the same mistakes. I’d know better. I’d do better.

So, why, when I know better, don’t I do better? Why do I keep making the same mistakes in different areas of my life and putting myself at a disadvantage?

• Why do I choose chips over salad?
• Why do I sleep in instead of exercise?
• Why do I choose to dull my pain with pills instead of overcoming it with consciousness?
• Why do I choose unhealthy habits over healthy habits?
• Why do I alienate myself instead of building positive relationships?
• Why do I choose unkindness instead of compassion?
• Why do I choose cynicism over optimism?

These are not easy questions to answer. They’re definitely symptoms of a lower frequency: shame, apathy, guilt, grief and anger. 

These are the frequencies of death. Perhaps I’m just too cowardly to die quickly, so I choose to die slowly.

I know better of course. That I’m still here means something. It means that I still have something to contribute to this consciousness. I’m still of value. I’m still love. I’m still a work of art. I’m still a masterpiece creating a master-work. I still have work to do.

I know better that’s why I’ll keep trying to do better.