Author: Jacques de Villiers

  • Fractured Monk

    Fractured Monk

    Things have been strange for me lately. I’ve thrown more tantrums than a colic baby in the last three months. More than I have in the last eight years. I’m moody. I’m inflexible both physically and mentally. I’m impatient. I avoid courageous conversations. I’ve become taciturn and insular. I’m scared, fractured and forlorn.

    Folks that know me don’t understand my behaviour and of course, neither do I. Sometimes they’ll say something like, “You’re so spiritual. You should be above these feelings.”

    If they only knew that spiritually I’m about as conscious and complex as an Amoeba. I suppose that’s why I feel like an imposter most of the time when it comes to things spiritual.

    That got me thinking. Do we think that our spiritual teachers are above this human experience? Do our monks, rabbis, imams, pastors, shamans and priests take this path because they’re whole and near-perfect?

    They might portray an air of confidence. They look like they know something the rest of us don’t. They even look like they can show us the way to redemption. But they know that they’re faking it like the rest of us. They’re just as frail and fractured like you and me. I’ll bet that they feel like imposters too.

    They’re fractured monks like the rest of us.

    That’s why we shouldn’t be too shocked and judgmental when they falter and fall.

    I don’t believe anyone ends up in a church, mosque or synagogue because they’re fixed and perfect. And, those that lead their congregants are less so. They know they have lots of work to do on themselves.

    In my opinion, that’s the only worthwhile work there is, is working on oneself.

    It’s the only thing that we have some semblance of control over. We have little if any control on what others do but we do have control of ourselves.

    Why is self-work important? I believe that every answer we seek is in us. I believe that we have the same knowledge as our creator. We’ve just forgotten it. It’s our job to remember that knowledge.

    The only way we can do that is to spend time with ourselves. We need to dip out of the world, the noise and the pretence from time-to-time so that we can listen for the real answers.

    We need to go into the silence that only meditation can bring. When we pray we’re speaking to God and when we meditate God is speaking to us.

    I think it’s probably as simple as that. Be silent and hear God’s whisper.

  • You’re an unlimited masterpiece

    You’re an unlimited masterpiece

    If you’re like me, I’m sure that you want to leave at least one magnum opus before you depart this world. You want to leave a masterpiece and leave a legacy. And, maybe you want to become Einstein, da Vinci and Bieber-famous?

    You want people at your graveside singing eulogies of praise for the positive difference you made in the world.

    The thing is that relatively soon after your funeral you’ll be forgotten and become a fraction of a footnote in the grand scheme of things.

    If your intent is to become famous and make a difference, it’s an exercise in futility. If your intent is to fulfill your potential and do magnificent work, then that’s a different story altogether.

    But there’s a disconnect between what the world sees as great work and what really is great work.

    What’s your greatest work and whose to say you haven’t already done it? Some would say that it’s the book they wrote, the piece of art they created or the handy tool they invented. In my case, it feels like my one and only magnum opus is co-creating my daughter nearly 15 years ago. All my other ‘achievements’ pale into insignificance.

    There’s not one great piece of work that defines our existence. I think that our journey comprises of many magna opera. We can argue that when Phaestis birthed Aristotle; when Perictione birthed Plato; when Caterina birthed da Vinci; when Mary birthed Jesus and when Aminah birthed Muhammad, it was their greatest works.

    But that’s taking away from these mothers. They were more than incubators and and had other magna opera other than their sons. They never set out to have these ‘famous’ sons. It was more by luck than design (not their design, anyway) that they birthed these masterpieces.

    I suppose it depends on what we define as great work? Is it a piece of art, a piece of industry, a piece of literature or a piece of music?

    Or is the most significant magnum opus us? The human beings that we are. Are we the creator’s greatest work?

    I like to believe so. I like to believe that we were forged in the image of our creator. And, therefore, our work is to do great works every day. Our creator never made junk; only magna opera.

    I believe that every day we have an opportunity for many magna opera. Every time we interact with someone, it’s an opportunity to do a great work. Every time we are given a task, we can make it a masterpiece.

    The enchanting part of this whole thing is that most of us are never even aware of the the impact we’ve had in helping everyone else produce their own magna opera.

    If you’ve ever been kind to a stranger, loved someone, lifted up a child, soothed a sick one, let someone cry on your shoulder, given your ear to listen to someone in pain, held a hand, written something, painted something, composed something or mastered something then you created magna opera.

    Of course, the real trick is to do great works all the time and never expect anything in return. Doing great works is not about quid pro quo but rather about pro bono. And, ultimately, we do everything for one reason – pro deus (For God). The only way we can thank the creator for letting us play on this planet for a while, is to create masterpieces every single day.

    You probably don’t know of these souls, but all of them created their magna opera with a pro bono attitude.

    Mentor, Angelo Dundee, Jochebed, Charles Freer Andrews, Leigh Anne Tuohy, Feng-Shan Ho, Welles Crowther and Rebecca-Jade.

    • Mentor advisor to Odysseus and his son, Telemachus.
    • Angelo Dundee, mentor to Muhammad Ali.
    • Jochebed, Moses’s mother saved him from certain death.
    • Charles Freer Andrews was a friend of Gandhi and convinced him to come back to India from South Africa.
    • Leigh Anne Tuohy took in a homeless boy called Michael Oher who became a professional footballer (Gridiron).
    • Feng-Shan Ho saved 2000 Jews from the Holocaust.
    • Welles Crowther (24) saved a dozen people from the 911 tragedy in 2001, he didn’t make it out of the Twin Towers.
    • Rebecca-Jade, daughter to Jacques de Villiers, saved him from himself.

    You are the greatest work ever created. Now go and fulfil your destiny and release the magnum opera that sits in you. You do great works every day. You may never know how your work impacts others. But it does and that impacts all of us.

    Go now.

    Go do great work because you are the creator’s ultimate magnum opus.

    You’ve never been built to produce junk, you’ve been built to give of your all and create your best work, pro bono and with gratitude.

    Go and do it now.

  • Destinations are where dreams go to die

    Destinations are where dreams go to die

    It’s in our nature to want better things for ourselves. We dream of a better life. We dream of a bigger house. We dream of a better place. We dream of a better car. We want better food. Better education. Better body. You name it, we want it bigger, better and more.

    We’re focused outward with our eyes in the direction of our goals, dreams and aspirations.

    Like the Pandora myth, the last thing we have in our box of tricks is hope. Islands of hope in a sea mischief, misery and mayhem is what keeps us in the game of life.

    Without hope, most of us would give up and let despair engulf us. What would be the point of continuing if there was no end to our misery and suffering? Hope is the flame that keeps us going. It keeps us wanting for more, bigger and better. Hope is the eternal heartbeat that keeps us alive.

    But, what is hope about? Why do we strive for bigger and better for our lives? Surely, it’s so that we can feel secure, worthy, happy and fulfilled.

    The flip side of hope is that it can be a dangerous and dark force. It can stop us from achieving our goals and it can set us up for disappointment.

    In the first instance, we’re actually scared to achieve what we set out to do because we’re like the proverbial dog that chases the car … what does it do with it when it catches it?

    What if the thing we want is not the actual thing we want? What if it’s a big fat disappointment? What if we still feel insecure, unfulfilled, powerless and out of harmony?

    So, we sabotage our dreams so that we don’t achieve what we want. Of course, whilst something is out of our reach that we want, we can always keep the flame of hope alive.

    They Lived Happily Ever After

    In the second instance, few stories delve into what’s after the ‘happily ever after’. Nobody digs into the drama and disappointment of having and owning the things we desire. How did it work out for the Prince that married Snow White? He had seven extra mouths to feed. And, that was after he wiped the noses and cleaned the backsides of his two children. He’d go to bed with Snow White’s shrill voice ringing in his ears, “We need a bigger castle. Sleepy needs a better bed, Grumpy needs more Prozac and Dopey needs an education. You’re never home. How can I present myself to court with this dress? Why aren’t you King yet?”

    The more we get, the more challenges are attached to what we have. Things become more complicated and stressful. Soon the Prince will wish (and hope) for the days gone by. When all he had to do was shoot deer, kill other men in some far-flung land, drink beer and flirt with anything in a skirt. Snow White too will have her own dreams. She’ll be coquettish with the King (who is widowed). Who wants to be a Princess when you can be a Queen? She’ll remember when she got high with Happy and dumbed it down with Dopey. Ah, those were the days … carefree, unfettered and uncomplicated.

    Destinations can kill dreams

    It appears that the destinations we want to go to and the things we want can be dream killers. In real life, they don’t live up to the picture we’ve created in our mind.

    Why is this? There’s no easy answer. But, one that works for me is that the world never gives you precisely what you want, does it?

    • How long does that ‘new car smell’ last before we’re hankering for a newer and better car?
    • How long before we’re dissatisfied with the house we live in, and want a bigger and better one?
    • How long are we satisfied with our partner before we want to upgrade?

    It’s clear to me that the more we want from the world, the less satisfied we are. And, the more we have, the more insecure we are because we are afraid that it’ll be taken from us.

    The trick is not to figure out what we can take from the world but rather what we can give to the world. The trick is not to have a bigger house, car and life but to have a bigger purpose.

    I’ve dreamed of

    I’ve hankered for things. I’ve dreamed of exotic destinations. I’ve got some of the things I hankered for and I’ve been to some of the destinations I’ve dreamed of. That iPad I had to have; where’s it now? I gave it to my daughter, Rebecca. I think she’ll get more use out of it than I can. The top of the range Macbook Pro is now only used for presenting my keynotes. Now days when I train people, I use a flip chart whilst the Macbook Pro gathers dust. I write this article on a 10 year old, iMac desktop. The Tag Heuer lies in the drawer for months at a time. The Mercedes lost its magic long time ago.

    I couldn’t handle more than a week in Mauritius, Hamilton Island or the Kruger National Park. Beautiful and spectacular as they are, they wore thin after three days. I hankered more for connection. I dreamt of being useful. I searched for purpose. I started looking inwards as opposed to the outer beauty that was around me. The same happened in Italy and France. All the culture, croissants and castles couldn’t keep me happy for long. I was still the same human with its foibles, fears, insecurities and hopes. The destination didn’t change my inner situation.

    The exotic destinations didn’t make my dreams come true. In fact, my dreams died there. I’m unconvinced that we were born to lie on the beach and soak up the sun. I’m unconvinced that the two-week holiday we hanker for every year will ever fill our hearts.

    I have to agree with Carlos Castaneda when he said, “All paths are the same; they lead nowhere.” He added that we should find a path with heart. The trick of finding a path with heart is not in the outward journey … not in the destination.

    For me, a path with heart is an inner journey. Finding out and discovering who we really are, how we can connect with others and be useful to them is a path that can ignite hearts. This path leads to happiness and fulfilment. This path doesn’t care whether we’re in a one-bedroomed flat in Yeoville or a 5-star hotel in Monte Carlo. This path can make us happy no matter our circumstances. It’s a path of purpose. It’s a path where we get to choose how we respond.

    Think about your purpose

    If we think about purpose, what makes us happy, fulfilled and harmonious? We get those feelings when our purpose is to connect and help other people. When we start to realise that we’re here for others and not ourselves. When we start to realise that we’re here to set others up for success. We get joy out of bringing joy to others and not from the things we own or the destinations we dream of.

    So, let’s connect, let’s contribute and let’s make this world a better place for everyone. That’s something worthwhile to hope for, isn’t it?

  • Are you a predatory marketer?

    Are you a predatory marketer?

    I just knew that it was only a matter of time before I lost my shit on FB. I thought it would be because of the interminable chatter about the coronavirus.

    It turns out that it’s the hyperbolic claims made by sleazy and predatory marketers that sent me into a froth, in this instance.

    They’re ubiquitous – These free online summits and webinars where half of it is hard sell and the other half is something you could have worked out on your own. They do it because they get around a 12% take up rate on their back of the room products and online offers. They make money and you don’t.[Having said this, there are a handful of marketers that sell in an authentic manner because their intention is to set their clients up for success and not to line their pockets.] These are marketers like Seth Godin.

    Great marketers don’t use consumers to solve their company’s problem; they use marketing to solve other people’s problems. Their tactics rely on empathy, connection, and emotional labour instead of attention-stealing ads and spammy email funnels.

    Seth Godin – Author

    Funnel Marketing – It’s not rocket science

    The latest “in thing” is funnel marketing.

    It’s not hard.

    Build a landing page, write good (authentic) copy, craft a lead magnet, collect email addresses and send messages to those email addresses and a tiny percentage will buy something.

    What the funnel marketers don’t tell you is that you need an email list of 100 000 to really make money. The average South African entrepreneur is lucky to have a 1000 emails in her database. It’s not rocket science and you don’t have to spend thousands of rands to get it.

    I throw up in my mouth every time I see this kind of sales copy

    Don’t get me started on the sales copy. All these marketers use the same techniques from the same playbook – Claude Hopkins, Joseph Sugarman, David Ogilvy and the like.

    These marketers really do insult our intelligence and rub their greedy little hands together because they think that there is a sucker born every minute.

    This is the copy selling a book is the one that sent me over the edge

    His first line is already unbelievable. 150 cold calls per day. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say he works a solid 8 hours a day (no breaks, no lunch, no toilet). That’s more than 18 phone calls an hour!

    Ask your sales professional friends if that’s possible. I’ve worked with a number of call centres and I think not.

    He starts on a lie. He promises that you’ll sell 100s of thousands of dollars on his system. That’s a big promise in normal times. In these unprecedented times it’s a criminal promise (millions of people are losing their jobs).

    Read the copy and decide for yourself. If you don’t think it is manipulative, then I will remove this post. At least if you’re going to write a sales letter, make it a piece of art, let it have finesse. This copy is abhorrent to me and it should be to you too.

    I used to make 150 cold-calls per day. 6 days per week. Grinding it out. Hustling.

    But I didn’t start making ‘big money’ until I discovered a ‘secret selling system’.

    You see, one day, I came up with a “crazy idea”.That allowed me to take my sales pitch and ‘automate’ it.

    So instead of calling on 150 businesses per day…I could write ads that would call on 150,000 people per day!

    Everyone thought I was a fool.

    And that there was no way this would work. But I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I was already dead-broke, working out of my bedroom on a computer my girlfriend had bought me. After a lot of late nights, early mornings and a tonne of trial and error…I finally discovered a secret selling system. And everything changed for me.

    Competitors with much bigger budgets couldn’t compete with me. Rookies who competed on price had no chance against me. Why?

    Because of my proven selling system. After discovering this system…I transitioned from selling one-to-one to selling one-to-many.

    And I applied my salesmanship to advertising…For example, this ad took about 2 hours to write. With a little luck, it should earn me 100, maybe even two hundred thousand dollars. What’s more, I’m going to ask you to send me $6.95 for something that’ll cost me virtually nothing to deliver – other than the cost of this ad.

    And I’ll try to make it so irresistible that you’d be a fool not to do it.After all, why should you care if I make $6.95 if I can show you how to make a lot more?

    What if I’m so sure that you will get more clients than any sane person could possibly want using my selling system…That I’ll make you a most unusual guarantee? And here it is…If my selling system doesn’t make you an extra 100 thousand dollars over the next 12 months, I’ll refund you the $6.95 and you can keep the selling system.

    That’ll give you plenty of time to look it over, try it out and put it to the test. If you don’t agree that it’s worth at least a thousand times what you invested, let me know and I’ll refund you every cent you paid.

    And I’m already going to give you the biggest bargain of your life.Because I’m going to tell you what it took me 9 years to perfect…And that is how to ‘sell like crazy’.

    More specifically…How to get as many clients, customers and sales as you can possibly handle.It’s 100% legal…

    And it works no matter what you’re selling.

    Now I have to brag a little. And it’s necessary—to prove that sending me the $6.95…Is the smartest thing you’ll ever do.

    Today my company is ranked as the 17th fastest growing company in Australia.

    I have a beautiful two-storey office and an amazing team of 65 employees.And this selling system has generated me and my clients over $1.33 billion in sales….In over 416 different industries and niches.

    But none of this would have been possible if it wasn’t for this selling system.

    I used it to ‘sell’ my way to building the #1 fastest growing digital agency in the country…(For the last 3 years in a row, as ranked by the Australian Financial Review).

    This selling system unfairly dominates markets and crushes competitors.You see, having a selling system is the single most valuable asset your business can acquire. Period.

    Having one will ensure you will never, ever, go hungry…And I can honestly say…I’m so confident it will work for you that I’ll guarantee it.

    And listen, it doesn’t require “luck.” Even though I’ve had more than my share.

    It doesn’t require “talent.” Just enough brains to actually apply it.

    It doesn’t require “youth.”It doesn’t require “experience.

    “What does it require? Belief.

    Enough to take a chance. Enough to absorb what I’ll send you. Enough to put the selling system into action.

    If you do just that—nothing more, nothing less—the results will be hard to believe.

    Remember — I guarantee it.

    So here’s what to do next….I’ve just detailed every single element of this powerful step-by-step ‘selling system’ in my brand new book titled “Sell Like Crazy”.

    It shot up from being ranked 90,000 on the day of release, to a #1 international Amazon bestseller within 10 minutes! [Author and clearly a detective of note, Joanne Macgregor dug this out of Amazon. “So he’s number one in a category called “industrial marketing”. He’s in the 19 thousands in overall store, which isn’t a bad rank, but very far off from being number one! He’s probably selling around 13 copies a day. To be number one, he’s have to sell around six and a half thousand a day for a couple of days.”]

    It retails for $19.95 + $13 shipping and handling on Amazon…BUT today I want to send you a copy for just $6.95!Why only $6.95?

    Well, I usually mail out physical copies but due to what’s going on with this lockdown… Most countries have closed their borders to receiving parcels.

    Simply click the link below ? to get your digital copy today (before we pull this offer down)

    BE LIKE SETH GODIN, DON’T BE LIKE THIS GUY.

    Photo Credit: A-Z Animals

  • Gemoedsbekakking

    Gemoedsbekakking

    This lockdown is brutal for all of us. My register is becoming a lot higher pitched and strident. I watch my friends on Zoom and listen to their narrative on social media. We’re all putting a brave face on things but the cracks are showing. You look shattered. I’m shattered. I don’t know how to help you. There are people who can help … just reach out and ask for help and they’ll appear for you.

    Here’s what’s happening to me. Your journey may be similar. I think I may be feeling depressed. Come to think of it, I wish I felt depressed because it would mean that I’m actually feeling something. This is something more insidious … it’s like a no-feeling detachment. It’s a severing of a cord that has kept me slightly grounded. It’s a soulless feeling, something you’d expect from the Vulcan, Spock.

    Afrikaans has a good word for it: Gemoedsbekakking. Your soul has been shat on. You’ve shat your soul out. Your soul is fractured. Pick a meaning. Whichever way you slice it, it’s bad. It’s a fucking desolate and hopeless space to be in.

    I find myself more abrupt with people. I’m picking fights on Facebook (that’s really a pointless exercise). I’m becoming more isolated (like a bear licking its wounds in a cave). If I can focus for two hours a day, it’s a bonus. How I’ve even written this far is a miracle. I don’t eat. Then I binge. If I look at another webinar I’m going to stab myself with the corner of my iPad until I pass out. Worst of all, I’ve lost my curiosity and that is the death knell for a writer.

    I’m not sure why I feel like this? It can’t be the isolation … on the path I’m on, I’ve been isolated for longer than this. This is a doddle as far as time is concerned. For those that know me well, you know that my life has always been a perfect mess and as a result I have been blessed with more than I could ever have wanted for myself. My grammar should be full of gratitude, but it isn’t.

    I’ve been doing a lot of introspection (if half an hour a day is a lot) and peeling off layers of the onion. My life has been pretty humdrum and shouldn’t give rise to gemoedsbekakking. Yes, like for all of us, my life has a few unexpected kinks and some wrong turns in it, but they’re hardly worth mentioning: the levitation incident and haunting when I was two years old, that when I was six years old I lay in bed for three months praying to God to kill me (that one worried my parents a little bit), I nearly made a Faustian bargain with a demon, the near-fatal ambush (which had it succeeded, would have sent me straight to an asylum) and a confused sexual encounter (women aren’t supposed to have Adam’s Apples and five o clock shadows, are they?) Boring stuff and nothing to write home about.

    One thing, however, has become apparent to me. Remember in the last newsletter I said that I had grandfather issues (Old Spice) and not father issues. I think I was wrong … definitely father issues. Big ones.

    I had two fathers, one was absent and one was abusive. What a balls up. Not only am I gemoedsbekak, now I have to contend with abandonment issues and the fear of getting fucked up.

    It makes for an interesting dynamic in my relationships, that’s for sure. I’m afraid of being abandoned but when someone gets too close to me I shudder in fear and push them away. As I said, what a balls up.

    This is my experience. Would I have it any other way? Probably not … it has made me into this fractured, quirky, messy, glass half empty, ray of doom who can make people laugh, make them cry, make them think and most important, make them feel.

    If this verkakte story made you feel anything (anger, irritation, sadness, gratefulness … whatever) then you don’t have vermoedsbekakking. Your centre is fine and you are going to get through this isolation come hell or high water. Keep connecting to your friends and family.

    Don’t ask me how my weight is doing in lockdown

    image

    If I thought I had it tough …

    My friend Julie was diagnosed with cancer a while ago. She wrote a journal which she entrusted me with to pass onto her daughter if she died. After a massive fight (mere words can’t describe it), she is cancer free. “Julie, I’ll make the journal nice and you give it to your own daughter,” love, me.

    My friend, Sarah, another cancer survivor, wrote this compelling piece, Corona vs. Cancer: No Contest For Me. It’s harrowing and revealing. She’s right. Cancer is a sneaky bastard of a thing.

    This may be useful to you

    1. If you’re a bit like me and find it hard to ask for money, Read Amanda Palmer’s, The Art of Asking. I’m reading it at the moment. Who knows, one day I may be able to ask. You can watch her Ted Talk too.
    2. Nows a good time to be looking at the sales copy on your website and in your marketing collateral. There’s a quick, dirty and effective way to write awesome sales copy fast. Read, The One Sentence Persuasion Course: 27 Words To Make The World Do Your Bidding by Blair Warren. You’re welcome. When we get out of this shit, you can buy me a coffee to thank me or name your next dog after me.
    3. Are you an author and have a book on Amazon and can’t understand why you don’t get reviews? That’s because Amazon is a jealous mistress and doesn’t like you promoting your books yourself. My friend and children’s author Jann Weeratunga sent me this explanation. When most of us market our books to our social media or email databases, we cut and paste the long link on the Amazon page. In Jann’s case, https://www.amazon.com/Pollys-Piralympics-Paralympics-Pirates-Piralympic/dp/1537543075. Here’s what happens … Amazon traces the long link the second that you copied it. Then they say you gave it to someone for a review, so they won’t put up any reviews around that time, especially if you use on social media and someone then goes to your book and buys it shortly afterwards. They also assume any other purchases were also obtained the same way. How do you get around it? Have a look at Jann’s long link above and see how she has shortened here https://www.amazon.com/dp/1537543075. It can’t be traced by Amazon.
    4. It appears that top military leaders have a unyielding moral code and they put those under their command first and they respect their enemy. I know I’ve spoken about Steven Pressfield before and sang his praises. I’m doing it again. Gates of Fire, Killing Rommel and Alexander the Great are must reads if you want to have any idea of how to lead. I’d go so far as to say that if you internalise the lessons from these books, you pretty much never have to go on another leadership course in your life again.
    5. Author, Douglas Kruger has just released Virus-Proof Your Small Business. 50 Ways to Survive the Covid-19 Crisis.

    My best to you,

    Jacques

    082 906 3693

    If you think someone will enjoy my writing, please forward this newsletter to them.

    If you’re seeing this newsletter for the first time, you can subscribe here.

  • Are you a reluctant marketer?

    Are you a reluctant marketer?

    If you feel uncomfortable with the spammy, predatory and ploy-ridden marketing that you see on social media and in email campaigns, then you’re a reluctant marketer.

    If you’re insulted that marketers think that you’re intellectually dense by giving you “too-good-to-be-true” offers, then you’re a reluctant marketer.

    You and I know that nobody gives a free seminar, webinar or ebook without wanting something in return (like an email address so that they can spam you later or to up-sell you to their course or expensive solution).

    If you blush at the blatant and ubiquitous self-promotion of some marketers on social media, then you’re a reluctant marketer. 

    Here’s the truth. I’ve been guilty of all of the above. And, maybe you have too? It’s not our fault because this is how we’ve been taught by the marketing gurus that we subscribe to and we don’t know better.

    You probably suspect that there’s a better way to do good work, market ethically and get paid for it.

    There is, and there’s tons of information about it. Go and look at anything by Seth Godin, Simon Sinek, Eckhard Tolle and the like. There is a better way.

    If you you’re uncomfortable with the way you market your products and services and need a new way to look at things, then this quote by Seth Godin has to resonate with you: Great marketers don’t use consumers to solve their company’s problem; they use marketing to solve other people’s problems. Their tactics rely on empathy, connection, and emotional labour instead of attention-stealing ads and spammy email funnels. 

    Marketing With Meaning

    If you want to market in a way that supports you and your values, then seriously consider reading further. Do work that makes you proud and attract the customers to you who need what you have to give.

    1. Get belief in yourself and your product/service. Strangely many reluctant marketers are reluctant because they lack belief in themselves and their products/services. It wouldn’t be a stretch that many folks, especially creators (artists, musicians, professional speakers, writers), suffer from the imposter syndrome. “Maybe someone will find out one day that I’m not as good as I say I am.” Reframe any negative connotations you may have around yourself and your product/service. Know that you do good work, that you create value for your customers and that it is an honour and benefit for them to be exposed to your work.
    2. Craft a compelling story. Design your brand story which will be the golden vein that’ll run through all of your marketing and communication. The story will position your product/service so that you’ll attract only those who will value your offering and will be prepared to pay for it. It will weed out those who will never buy from you.
    3. Deliver your story. I know that some of us are reluctant marketers because we think our product/service should be good enough to attract people without marketing. We’re like Iowa farmer Ray Kinsella in the movie Field of Dreams who constructed a baseball diamond in the middle of his cornfield. He said, “If you build it, he will come.” The reality is that nobody is coming. If we want people to come to our ‘Field of Dreams’ and make our dreams come true, then we have to use the marketing tools available to us, there’s no getting around that. And, if we believe that we are here to serve humankind, then there’s no shame in using these tools … only blessing (for you and your customer). Use the tools available to you and there are many. Reach as many people as you can so that they can use what you have to offer. They need you.
  • Don’t Lose Your Shape

    Don’t Lose Your Shape

    Newsletter from 18 April 2020

    Hello,

    Before I start, professional speaker, Alan Heyl, the last surviving member of the Stander Gang died on Friday. Like many of us in the speaker fraternity, I knew him well and broke bread with him on a number of occasions. My condolences go out to his sister, Sylvia.

    Before reading this text, read the health warning. “Advice, wrote David Foster Wallace in The Pale King, “even wise advice — actually does nothing for the advisee, changes nothing inside, and can actually cause confusion when the advisee is made to feel the wide gap between the comparative simplicity of the advice and the totally muddled complication of his own situation and path.”

    So read this piece of text with some circumspection. It’s a blind leading the blind kinda thing.

    I’m done …

    I’m so done with being incarcerated, aren’t you? If I thought that life is unfair (which I don’t) I would shake my hands in frustration at the dolts who are determining and decimating our destiny. I feel like we’re the love child of a gang bang between the Red Queen (I don’t know what you mean by your way, all ways here belong to me), Mussolini and Animal Farm (All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others). A fascist, communist and sociopathic clusterf#ck. Some of the human, social and economic decisions that are being made by people ill-equipped to run and ice cream truck, let alone a country, blows my mind.

    But that’s not fair and it is uncharitable that my register is so strident and judgemental. We’ve never had to deal with something like this and pretty much nobody can predict the future. As Seth Godin said in his recent blog post, “When it comes to predicting the future we do it all the time, constantly and we’re terrible at it.”

    Nonetheless, there are many decisions that baffle me. If taxis are only allowed to be 70% full … how are 16 people in a taxi as opposed to 20 people (100% full), social distancing? How’s that going to make a difference? South Africans being a non compliant lot as it is, you’ve got more chance of dating Angelina Jolie in lockdown than a taxi running at 70% full. That’s because the taxi industry and unions for that matter, have bent our government over the table and call the shots.

    Banning cigarettes and alcohol? One doesn’t see sophisticated countries doing this. Maybe our government thinks we’re still on the teat and need protection from ourselves. Besides the billions of Rands in lost taxes (which we are so going to need) were just creating wannabe Al Capones and driving up crime. Someone is going to make a lot of money and its not going to be you and me. I also wonder why half the country is out and why the rest of us are imprisoned.

    I’m too scared to mention that maybe we do need to look at the economy and get all people back to work in case I’m branded a cruel, fascist and and a Noordhoek jackbooted Sturmabeilung detachment hauls me out of my home for the charge of not having any humanity and charity in me. I’m neither a futurist nor an economist (they’re quickly sliding down the ranks of credible professions and will soon end up in the trough with discredited journalists) but the scale of human suffering in South Africa is going to be absolutely horrendous in the next year. And, there will not be nearly enough tax collected to help those we are trying to protect now.

    I don’t know if you’ve noticed that we are becoming more polarised in our views and it is starting to divide us. I really think we’re going to stuff it up after we get out of this incarceration. I think the whole human consciousness movement will fade out and we will become more nationalist. We will become an even more selfish species. The irony is that were not even good at that because we make such poor decisions in our own best interest.

    I think the Chinese will take the brunt and become a pariah nation. It doesn’t matter whether this thing was an accident because of their inhumane eating practices or whether they manufactured this; they’ve been found wanting. To be honest, I’m more predisposed to buying local (even if it costs more) as a result of this. Unfortunately, the Chinese fingerprint is everywhere, even on this computer I’m typing this piece of text on … so, buying local might be a Grail Quest. Let’s see how that plays out.

    Don’t lose your shape …

    I’m on a lot of WhatsApp groups at the moment. They all start off with good intent, romance and red wine. But they seem to end up more War of the Roses. Most of these groups have a specific agenda but soon the members’ agendas start appearing and then the whole thing goes tits up. That’s when I delete or mute.

    It is becoming apparent to me that the reason this happens is our need for significance. We want our voices to be heard and our self-interest to be fulfilled. We think that if we shout louder than our compatriots we will be taken seriously. But, if you read anything about the hero and the mentor in my last newsletter, you’ll know it is better to be the mentor (if you want to make money in your business or get ahead in your career, that is). It is better to disappear so that others can appear. The trick is to figure out why self interest is not in your interest.

    I need to see beautiful things

    I can’t keep looking inside anymore, it’s desolate, I need to see something beautiful. And that’s going to have to be outside. Did you know that you can visit 2 500 museums virtually? Check out my friend, Yvette Hess’s Isn’t she lovely? oil painting and read the backstory.

    Do you have predatory or receptive attention?

    Human excellence specialist, Etsko Schuitema has written a brilliant piece about leading in catastrophic times. This requires subtle but profound leadership qualities. One of the most profound qualities of great leaders in times of change is related to the way in which these leaders use their attention.

    Should South Africa take a loan from the International Monetary Fund or the World Bank?

    Since my speaking career has tanked, I’ve become economics expert as one does. If you read the Confessions of an Economic Hitman it’s probably not a good thing to take a loan since it never ends well for the borrower. In the book, some deep state power (in this case the USA) manipulates the country for its nefarious purposes. And, those that don’t comply get assassinated. So, it sounds like a shitty deal to me.

    But then again, for South Africa it is still just a choice of which master runs it. The USA through the World Bank or the Chinese through I don’t know what vehicle. From what I’ve heard China has invested more than $15,2 billion by 2017 into South Africa. I’m sure more has come into the coffers. It’s a choice between being run by capitalist masters or communist masters. I suspect that our government prefers to be run by communist masters, the same masters who think that consuming Rhino horn will give them a boner. I may not be entirely fair to the Chinese … evidently, the Vietnamese have bigger (or is that smaller) penis problems and are by far the largest consumers of Rhino horn.

    To skin a cat

    Hat tip to master story teller, Rob Caskie for providing me the lead to this story. “Please Google “To skin a cat”. This is all about Tristan Dickerson, who I know, a leopard expert trying to save leopards by making fake leopard fur in China for Shembe followers. It is an in credible story. Singly, Tristan has done more for wildlife conservation than many of the big names-an incredibly humble, self-effacing young man. He has even been to Tibet to catch and collar Clouded Leopards for research purposes-nobody else could catch them alive.” Watch the video and read this compelling story.

    Talking about Rob Caskie

    For those of you who have had the privilege of hearing the enchanting and mesmerising stories told by Rob Caskie, you are in for a treat. He is putting his memorable stories on Patreon. Here’s your chance to watch a master story teller in action.

    I thought that I had daddy issues … it turns out I have grandfather issues

    I kid you not, a week before lockdown I bought Old Spice aftershave. I put some on the other day and it immediately transported me to the Karoo and my grandfather. For a brief moment, I felt safe.

    In the 70s (for me at least), the adult men wore only three aftershaves: Old Spice (circa 1937 for the working man), Tabac (circa 1959 for the sophisticated man) and Brut (circa 1968 for the bad ass). I wrote this piece about my grandfather a while ago. Edge of the Rain – I spent many a Christmas holiday on my grandfatherʼs farm in Loeriesfontein, 100 kilometres from Calvinia, in the Northern Cape, South Africa. The farm was typical of most farms in the hot and dusty rain-deprived Karoo. It was unrelenting, unyielding and fit only for sheep, ostriches and the toughest human. Not much grew on it except quinces, the hardiest of weeds and the toughest of shrubs. When I looked at my grandfather, the craggy lines spidering across his face told the story of hardship and suffering. And, sometimes in an unguarded moment, heʼd drop his pose and let me look into his piercing blue eyes and into his soul. Even at a young age I could fathom the undercurrents that that ripped through his soul – regret, hopes dashed, dreams downscaled and sorrow for potential unfulfilled. If you want to read the rest of it you can download it off Dropbox.

    What I’ve written, what I’m reading and what interests me …

    1. If you missed the last two weeks’ newsletters. You can’t have two tomcats in the same litter box and Days. Weeks …
    2. If you’re into war stories, there’s none so masterful as Steven Pressfield. I’m currently reading The Virtues of War – A Story of Alexander the Great.
    3. If you’re a writer, then The War of Art is a must read. Your biggest enemy to writing great art is you and your resistance.
    4. The Shallows got more than 100 positive responses on social media. Maybe it’s worth a read.
    5. Ghost was popular too. I cook. I clean. I wash. I work. I drive. I love. I shout. I scream. They don’t hear me. They don’t see me. I’m alone. I’m a mother. I’m a ghost.
    6. Do yourself a favour and read anything by David Heinemeier Hansson. You won’t be sorry.
    7. I believe that Richard Mulvey has moved his popular Power Series online. His next one is Getting New Customers on 21 April. He always has solid content. Go have a look.
    8. I laughed my head off when I asked Claude Moller (he has two dots on the O. I don’t know how to do that) if he had taken his work online. “AAN LYN?? Net as ek visvang.” He goes on to say that he has 32 projects on the go and even if he worked another 20 years he wouldn’t finish them and that he would have to listen to his wife kak him out because “ek is so fo#ke@ lui”. Maybe I’m just cooked from being incarcerated that I find this really funny. And, happy … one guy that doesn’t have to go online to eke out an existence. Maybe I should get my smart friends who have already mastered this online stuff in the last two weeks to get Claude AAN LYN so that he can teach us a thing or two about business. That would be ironic if he did it online. I got my microphone out recently. Maybe I will plug it in and then download Zoom so that I can go AAN LYN too. I suspect by the time I get my act into gear, this thing will be over.
    9. You can’t win … even Zoom is now being lambasted for security breaches. George Orwell told us all this kak in 1984 (which he wrote in 1946). Why is everyone so surprised that by playing on this planet, you’re being probed and prodded and invaded every day? ‘Big Brother’ knows that I love watching figure skating, got all my geography and European history lessons from Asterix and Tintin inspired me to become a journalist. I ended up becoming a plumber’s mate instead. What are they going to do with that? I’m still so grateful to be living in this century and experiencing the mystery, bewilderment and wonderment of it all. Aak, did I just go all spiritual, woo-woo and pretentious on your ass? Sorry, sorry … too much meditation and not enough medication.

    Thanks for reading. This newsletter is free but not cheap. To show your support, forward it to someone who’d like it or engage in my marketing services, buy my book or support my friends (#buylocal).

    If you’re seeing this newsletter for the first time, you can subscribe here.

    xoxo,

    Jacques

  • You can’t have two tomcats in the same litter box

    imageInventions of the Monsters, 1937 – Salvador Dali

    It appears that last Saturday’s newsletter, Days. Weeks. Months. Who Knows? was well received with a 50% open rate and 726 clicks to all the resources I put in it. I’m delighted that there are still people in this world who can engage with text longer than a paragraph and it has encouraged me to write today’s one.

    As you already know, the President of the African National Congress, Mr. Cyril Ramaphosa, announced that we’d be extending the lockdown by 14 days until the end of April.

    I don’t know about you, but I was devastated and burst into tears. I don’t know which of the 7 emotional stages of lockdown I was in.

    And, I’ve got it easy. I’m staying with two dear friends in Noordhoek, Western Cape. We live in a rambling house with a heavenly view. There’s food in my belly. I have Internet. I have more books than I can read in two lifetimes. I have Netflix. I have friends I can talk to. Today I had hot cross buns and Easter eggs. I heard that a good friend of mine has been declared cancer-free after a harrowing year of treatment (she must think this is all a bit meh after what she’s been through).

    Once my pity party was over I went to one of the seminal works that has been a close companion, a source of reason for many years and has been the architect behind all my writing … Joseph Campbell’s, The Hero With A Thousand Faces (The Joseph Campbell Foundation).

    image

    Circa. 12 April 2020

    It occurred to me that the lockdown news put me squarely in step 10 of 12 in the Hero’s Journey; the most intense part … The Supreme Ordeal: Approaching the innermost cave. It is where I have to face my shadow and my deepest fear which in my case is, “Am I up to this task? Can I vasbyt? Will my values, my beliefs and mental frailty withstand this test? This is where the metal hits the road and puts my philosophy on trial to see if I can actually eat my own dog food and do what I preach others should do. I think that you would get that it’s different sitting on the mountain and pontificating about stuff, than actually living in the blood and guts of life. I think that some of us (speakers and trainers) will be more humble when we realise that the theory we sprout forth on stage will fail under the harsh scrutiny of reality. The reality is that it is only theory for most of us because most material we use is not lived experience and we have borrowed it from someone far more intellectually adroit than we are. But, according to Austin Kleon Steal Like An Artist, that’s ok.

    You Can’t Have Two Tom Cats In The Same Litter Box

    When two tom cats get together, they fight. When two alphas are in the same space they fight. Many copywriters, marketers and entrepreneurs get the Hero’s Journey wrong. They think that they/their company should be the hero and save the customer from whatever pain she is battling. They want to be Batman, Superman and Mr. Incredible.

    When it comes to marketing, we should be focusing on the Mentor archetype and not the Hero archetype. We need to be the Alfred to Batman, the Obi-Wan Kenobi to Luke Skywalker and the Dumbledore to Harry Potter. It is our job to support the hero (our customer) as much as we can so that when they face their shadow in the innermost cave, they will come out victorious (good beats evil and retains her soul in the process). When Batman faces his shadow, Alfred’s words echo in his mind: “Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

    Remember that the hero’s main question is, “Am I up to this task?” Can I aim the missile 100% so that I can destroy the Death Star? Can I stay strong for my employees and family in Covid-19? Will I survive this catastrophe? Will my relationship withstand this forced imprisonment?

    You see, heroes are flawed, uncertain and full of trepidation. It is the mentor’s job to help them navigate the trials that they face so that they can come out victorious. Be a mentor and not a hero … if you want to enrol more fans to your cause. It is your job to disappear so that your customer can appear and be significant. If you get that right, you’ll do just fine when we get out of this mess.

    By the way, I’ve read The Hero With A Thousand Faces many times over. It’s a dense read and can take half a year if you really study it well. Don’t read it unless you’re interested in comparative mythology and psychology. If I may suggest, rather read The Hero’s Guidebook: Creating Your Own Hero’s Journey by Zachary Hamby. It’s written for children, but it is a brilliant synopsis of how to live the hero’s life and how to traverse this path elegantly and eloquently. It will also teach you how to write well in terms of developing any story. And, of course, let your kids read it.

    Hibernasie = Transformasie (Antoinette Pienaar)

    image

    I was sent this YouTube video on Whatsapp (hat tip to Steve Johnson) about Antoinette Pienaar who lives in the Great Karoo. It’s called Secret to Life. If you listen to her, I think she really can help you navigate this thing that has befallen all of us. It’s in Afrikaans. But an Afrikaans you’ve never heard before … evocative, emotional and heart-rending. It is the most enchanting video you’ll see in a long time. I promise you, you’ll send me an email afterwards and thank me.

    Be Like Kate

    I was watching a webinar by Stef du Plessis and he showed a photo of 5ft tall Kate Nesbitt, the first woman in the Royal Navy to be awarded the Military Cross after tending to a soldier under Taliban fire.

    Kate, a medical assistant serving as an Able Seaman with the Royal Navy, raced 70 yards to the stricken soldier’s side as he nearly choked to death from a gunshot wound to the mouth. She cut open a temporary airway and treated him for 45 minutes as rockets whizzed overhead and bullets thudded into the ground nearby.

    image

    ‘I promised my friends and comrades I’d be their medic I promised I’d be there if they ever needed me. They needed me that day – so when the call came, that’s just what I did.’

    Be like Kate and just do what you say you’re going to do. Read the full story.

    Whilst we are on things military …

    My friend and speaker, Stef du Plessis has been a closed book when it comes to his military career. He hasn’t spoken about it, except in passing. Until now. And, since it is now on record on his website (watch the video), I suppose I can mention it here too. It’s compelling and the lessons he imparts can help leaders help their teams navigate these fearsome times. If memory serves, Stef was the last (or one of the last) commanders (Lieutenant Colonel) involved in the last nine days of the war in South West Africa (now, Namibia) … (what was supposedly peacetime). Some of the most vicious fighting happened in this time. Stef was there. Peter Stiff wrote about it.

    Although I was in the infantry from 1982 – 1982, I wasn’t a real soldier like Stef. The most danger I was in was dying of boredom. But I do know real soldiers. Like my brother, Christopher, who carried a wounded comrade out of Angola into South Africa. He ran for 10 nights and hid for 10 days to evade capture from FAPLA on his way home. My cousin Louis who was a major in 32 Battalion (and, resigned a Colonel). My cousin Dolf, also a Colonel. My friend, Callie Roos who was a special operator and today, amongst other things, is involved with the South African Special Forces Association. You won’t believe how many people claim to be special forces operators and aren’t. What’s wrong with them? See the wall of shame.

    I salute you all for who you became after your Hero’s Journey.

    Have you noticed …

    • There are less jokes on your WhatsApp about Covid19.
    • There’s more connection on WhatsApp now.
    • All the adults have left Facebook. It has probably always been a peurile platform, but now it is beyond anything intelligent.
    • Twitter is still a hate filled, revolting reservoir of what’s rotten in our world.
    • The media is still getting us to follow its overstated headlines. I’m starting to think that journalism is the lowest profession in many instances. It appears that the only point of news is for you to consume more news so that the advertisers are happy. Most of it is just clickbait. Read this article by Mark Manson on Why You Should Quit The News.
    • You’re getting more voice and video calls. Your friends, family and associates have a real need to connect with you. Eyeball to eyeball has become fashionable again. It’s quite wonderful how we are reconnecting with each other.

    Last word …

    You may have noticed right at the beginning when I said that Mr. Cyril Ramaphosa was the President of the African National Congress. Patently, it should be, the President of South Africa. I was confused too, because on Twitter he makes it quite clear that he is the President of the ANC, first and the President of South Africa, second. Read South African government is confusing its brand to see what I’m on about.

    I wish you well for the coming weeks. I’ll be in touch again.

    My best,

    Jacques

  • Days. Weeks. Months. Who Knows?

    Days. Weeks. Months. Who Knows?

    Lately, I’m as high as Carlos Castaneda on Peyote and think, “You have everything needed for the extravagant journey that is your life.” Other days I’m more Eeyore, “Days. Weeks. Months. Who knows?”

    All I know is that I’m going to go all John Wick on the ass of the next person who says that this is an opportunity for reflection and connection. Isn’t the silence wonderful? Write your book (even I said that in my last email Do not go gentle into the night good night … . Make your bed first thing because if it is a shit day, you at least come back to a made bed. (Actually, no matter how many times I hear it, I still enjoy the Admiral McRaven address (16 mins). There’s a new one (4mins) made for lockdown which is rather charming too). It’s time for us introverts. The planet is healing …” Whatever. And, if I hear “in these unprecedented times …” one more time, I’m convinced I’ll get a thrombosis.

    Admiral McRaven

    I’ve been reflecting whether my voice would be useful to you or will it just be another screech in this cacophony of noise that has drilled into our ears and shrilled down our spines over the last couple of weeks? My neocortex has exploded with all the data it has been uploading over the last week or so, what about yours?

    If my voice is a screech and a scratch in this endless babble you’re facing, at the bottom of this text, somewhere is an unsubscribe button. If enough of you unsubscribe (by the way, I’ve combined my speaker friends, my PechaKucha delegates and my client databases for this piece of text), I’ll just go back to Netflix and Ted Talks and go mal. But that might not be too bad according to one of my favourite depraved authors, Charles Bukowski … “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must live.”

    Charles Bukowski

    I’m between the horns of a dilemma. In this time do I serve or do I sell? And, I do need to sell … my business (like many of us) has been wiped out. Right now, who wants to hire someone who can type some pithy phrases and can string a few sentences together from a stage? There’s no stages to stand on and you don’t want to see how I balls up online.

    I don’t want to sell my services. It feels kinda opportunistic to me. It’s like those supermarkets profiteering out of our suffering – wasn’t a 2-litre milk R22 the other day and a week later, it’s over R30? WTF? I’m really hopeful that things will turn around in my industry at least. As I said in my last piece of text to my speaker friends, our clients are making enquiries to book speakers for their conferences after July. I’m convinced that people are going to be so gatvol of online webinars that they’ll want to have real, live, raw motherf … conferences where they can connect. Professional speakers, I have no doubt that you will be run off your feet in the second half of the year.

    I’m going to serve and that is really to big a word for what I’m going to do here. It’s so insignificant that I’m almost embarrassed. Those of you that know me, know that I’m curious about this mystery called life. So, I’m always scratching around in some esoteric text, finding myself in some or other spiritual retreat or squatting on an eccentric website. I find other people and their achievements infinitely more interesting than me. Thus, I’m going to share some of the quirky, eccentric and interesting things and people I’ve curated over the years with you over the next couple of “Days. Weeks. Months. Who knows?” (as Eeyore would say).

    For the writers …

    When I write I’m alway reminded of Truman Capote’s flip dismissal of Jack Kerouac’s work, “That’s not writing, that’s typing.” I don’t know about you, but my first draft is shit, my second draft is shit, my third draft is just passable and then I want to throw the whole thing into the dustbin. I’ve been doing this for 20 years and seven million words … what a masochist! Why don’t I just go to my local BDSM club now and get a spanking?

    One of my favourite marketers, Margot Aaron created a map of the writing process which so speaks to me.

    image

    If it wasn’t for people like enchanting writing coach, Sarah Bullen, the countless Indie authors I know who bleed on their pages every day and my dear friends who buy my books so that I can put petrol in my car, I would have given up long ago. I talk shit, I wouldn’t … I love writing too much and even if I never sold another word, I’d still be at it. Sarah sent me an email the other day and gave this advice

    • Readers love novels that entertain and thrill them.
    • The longer a book is on the shelf the more it can sell. Check out the US top sellers for the last decade and the 20 top selling books of all time. Mommy porn queen, E.L. James claims the top 3 spots on the list. Unbelievable. If you’ve never seen me read an excerpt from E.L. James’s The Mister, check it out, it’s quite a treat. Weirdly, of all the videos I’ve put on You Tube, it’s my most watch one at 544 views.
    • Non fiction will overtake novels in sales this decade (yay for professional speakers who are still thinking about writing their books … glue your bum to the chair now).

    For the leaders …

    Clearly, the elephant in the room is Covid-19. How many leader know how to lead in these unprecedented kak times? Masters of their craft, Graeme Codrington (futurist) and Stef du Plessis (workplace culture expert) ran a great webinar which puts this whole thing into perspective. Spoiler alert … we may not be getting out on April 16 (but better to be prepared for that). Both speakers are a voice of reason in the noise out there and leave you feeling a little more hopeful than you might be feeling now. There will be more webinars in this vein over the next couple of weeks. Go here to be kept in the loop.

    For sales professionals and professional speakers …

    I’m becoming quite a fan of Rich Mulholland’s online work. He does it well and he’s smart and articulate to boot. His next online event (Be a better story seller – your customer’s story has just changed, have you changed yours?) is on Wednesday, 8 April at 17h00. I’m going to be there.

    If you want to put humour in your next speech …

    I’m the lovechild of Darth Vader and Mr Spock (figure out the mechanics) so humour doesn’t come easy to me. When I think I’m funny, I’m not. When I’m serious I’m funny. It’s a bugger up. I’m doing some work with my favourite comedian, Barry Hilton, to remedy that so that my humour can be intentional and not fall flat. He can write some pithy and funny one-liners for you too so that it will give your speech that something extra.

    For those of us who are f%c%ed …

    You probably know that when we get out of these unprecedented crazy times, there is going to be a new normal. Nothing will be the same. Everything will have changed. How we work. How we deal with one another (hopefully with more kindness and courtesy). How we show off our privilege (I’m not going there). The reality is that some of us are going to be without work and things are going to be tough, terrifying and troublesome.

    We’re going to have to reinvent and rebrand ourselves if we want to survive and thrive in the new reality. I think that the folks who are in the branding and marketing business will be getting a lot more phone calls. If you don’t know who Dawn Klatzko is, it’s probably time you met her. In my opinion she’s one of the best personal branding experts I know. Have a chat with her so that you can proactively start repositioning yourself both as an employee and solopreneur.

    For me us going mal in lockdown …

    Sign up to Ryan Holiday’s Daily Stoic. Sign up to Ryan Holiday’s Daily Stoic. Sign up to Ryan Holiday’s Daily Stoic. Did I already say “sign up” enough.

    For those of you who want to look at beautiful stuff …

    I as visiting my daughter, Rebecca in Mossel Bay the other day just before lockdown. I had dinner with local artist Yvette Hess and her family there. She has an amazing life story which she’s turned into art.

    I’ve also been following the work of Nina Jacobson. A bit darker (appeals to a melancholic and acerbic personality like mine).

    I’ve always supported PowWow Teepees. Although they are for children, these teepees are real works of art.

    Find your message …

    How to turn website visitors into prospects, prospects into customers and customers into super-fans is always top of my mind. I’m always looking for great ideas for my clients to achieve this goal. Being in the professional speaking business I have pretty much looked at most speaker and trainer websites in this country. Most of them are awful (mine included, it’s a f… mess).

    First, most of them look like a standard WordPress site (because they are).

    Second, they’re very ‘look at me’ focused in a misguided attempt to impress the prospect. You know the deal. Photo of the speaker, qualifications, how many countries they’ve travelled to (not such fun now is it?), how many gigs they’ve done, etc. F…all about the needs of the client. Most of these websites look like a Tinder hookup – Peacocking so that they can get sex on the first date and not trying to build a relationship.

    Third, the messaging is not clear and isn’t aimed at attracting the right kind of clients (those that appreciate your work and are prepared to pay for it) and discouraging those that are not a right fit for your services (the We don’t work with arseholes rule). Have a look at John Rayner’s website. It is very clear who his target audience and niche market is. Look at it and see how you can apply it to your own messaging. I picked up on Keryn House’s LinkedIn profile. The same thing. Specific and no mistaking the target audience.

    image

    I love the quirky way that Abigail K has set up her meet the team photos. You can see the whole range here. When you’re on the page, notice how real, eccentric, quirky and authentic she is. This type of writing connects with the client for sure. Come on, how could you not take a second look at someone who says, “I’m easily distrac … oh look – clouds!”

    In the same vein, have a look at graphic designer, Jo’s website. It’s quirky, sensitive, eccentric, vulnerable and authentic. How can you not love it?

    Phew, if you got this far, respect. I hope this piece of text has been helpful, entertaining and interesting.

    PS: Forgive the bout of Tourettes (but I think that’s how I speak anyway – maybe I do have Tourettes?).

    PPS: None of the people I have recommended have financially compensated me for mentioning them. Mmmm, I think I’m going to invoice them … Seriously, if anyone of them resonate with your situation, use them and pay them fairly. Big hugs, me

    PPPS: I’ve only heard about Tinder hookups from a friend 😉

  • The Grinch of Goal Setting

    The Grinch of Goal Setting

    While December 2019  is the season to be jolly, it’s also the season of goal setting. As we approach a new year we set goals for ourselves so that it can be a better year than the one we just had.

    This piece of text is a cautionary argument against thinking that goal setting and achieving our goals will be a panacea to all our problems.

    The intention of goal setting is human production and not human happiness.

    If we understand that goal setting is about improving our performance and increasing our production, then achieving a goal will never lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction.

    But as a tool for meaning and purpose, setting goals is a wholly inadequate piece of process. The way goals are sold to us by the so-called self help gurus is that when we achieve them we will feel secure, powerful, fulfilled and happy. 

    This is a flawed argument. If one doesn’t understand the real purpose of goal setting (as a tool for production towards a result), achieving one’s goals often leads to insecurity, inadequacy,dissatisfaction, disappointment and complications.

    How Did Modern-Day Goal-Setting Start?

    In the late 19th century, American philosopher Elbert Hubbard said that many people fail in their endeavours; not because they lacked intelligence or courage, but because they did not organise their energies around a goal.

    In the 1960s Dr. Edwin Locke began goal setting research and in 1968 he published a paper called, Towards a Theory of Task Motivation and Incentives. He established that appropriate goals do result in superior organisational performance. In other words, goal setting could get more production out of its workers to the benefit of the organisation that employed them. 

    In 1981 (38 years ago) the SMART Goal acronym appeared in the November issue of Management Review: There’s a S.M.A.R.T way to write management goals and objectives. This piece written by George Doran paved the way for the SMART goal movement … specific, measurable, assignable, realistic and time-based.

    Twenty five years ago (1994), Jim Collins and Jerry Porras coined the phrase BHAGs (big hairy audacious goals) while writing their book, Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies. BHAGs are stretch goals designed to motivate companies and people to achieve lasting success.

    In What Context Does Goal Setting Work?

    From an organisational perspective, goal setting works to a point (Some of the 18 companies Collins and Porras said were built to last haven’t held up as well as the sales of their book). From a human happiness, meaning and fulfilment perspective, goal setting is a questionable practice.

    Goal setting works in organisations because the masters control the purse strings which always puts the employees in a position of weakness. If you achieve the organisational goal you are rewarded, if not, you are fired. So most employees are in the game of survival because they need to have the security of a paycheque for them to play in this world. From an organisational and human productivity perspective, goal setting is a win-lose game.

    The intention of goal setting is human production and not human happiness.

    From a human happiness perspective, goal setting is a lose-lose game.

    “The best laid schemes of mice and men go awry.” – Robert Burns, Poet

    Consider how many dreams you’ve had and how many goals you’ve set. Have you achieved everything you’ve set out to? I can only speak for myself, but when it comes to achieving my goals, I’ve been an abject failure. I reckon that most of the goals I set for myself haven’t materialised. It’s a case of ‘man plans and God laughs’. When it comes to me, God must have fallen off his throne and is rolling on the ground with laughter. I’m in a totally different direction to the one I’ve planned. My life’s a perfect mess and that works for me.

    Basing our lives on the results we achieve is not a helpful exercise when it comes to happiness, meaning, significance, purpose and fulfilment. It’s a disastrous notion because if we don’t get the results we want, it makes us feel like insignificant failures which end up in feelings of shame, guilt, envy, jealousy, inadequacy, disappointment, disillusionment, despair, low self-worth, regret, remorse, weak self esteem and depression.

    We also have to take into account that the amount we input into a task will not necessarily equate to the desired result. Let’s look at those that we deem to be successful. There are many people with more skill, intelligence and opportunity than the *‘successful ones’ and yet they are in the graveyard of failure. What’s the difference between the ‘successful’ ones and the ‘unsuccessful’ ones. Nassim Talieb, the Lebanese economist and author has a word to explain this difference: randomness. Sometimes (most times?) you just need a little bit of luck. You need to be at the right place at the right time. You need to find the right connection. These random and serendipitous moments don’t happen for all of us. So, no matter how good and industrious we are, we’ll never catch the break we need.

    * I use quotation marks because success is relative and cannot be synthesised into how much money one makes or how successful one is in business. There are many factors that attribute to what we call success including, health, family, connection, spirit and the like. Because the world is a feat of perception, success means something different to everyone. 

    “All paths are the same: they lead to nowhere. Find a path that makes your heart sing.” Carlos Castaneda

    Think about the goals you’ve achieved. Has the attainment of the goal really satisfied you? Are you happy even after …? Most of us aren’t.

    Goal setting is a Sisyphean task. It feels everlasting and futile because no sooner do you get the heavy rock to the top of the hill and it rolls down again. 

    Think about it. How often have you achieved a goal and it feels anticlimactic? You knew you were going to reach it and when you did, there was no surprise or wonderment in achieving it. 

    How often have you achieved a goal and fallen into a depression afterwards? Because the reality is that it was more fun and meaningful doing the process of achieving the goal, than actually achieving it. 

    How often have you reached a goal and found that it was kinda ‘meh’? It didn’t spark feelings of happiness. It possibly led to feelings of confusion, disappointment and disillusionment. In my case, the achievement of a goal barely raises my pulse. I find out that it is not as amazing as I thought it would be. It’s not actually what I wanted. And, it’s created a new level of complexity when all I was trying to do was to simplify my life. 

    When it comes to human happiness, goals are lose-lose.

    There are many reasons why achieving our goals can be dissatisfying. I’ve noted down some that have come to mind:

    1. We seek the good approbation of others. One of our strongest human needs is to be significant. We crave praise from others. Sometimes we don’t get the praise, or if we do, we feel it’s not enough. In fact, sometimes we get the reverse, other people are envious or jealous of our success and withhold praise and gossip about us. The following saying sums this up beautifully: We buy things that we can’t afford and don’t need to impress people who don’t care. 
    2. We seek security. Most of us have a money goal. We need to get money so that we can survive. The money goal is absolutely necessary in the world today if we want to eat, have a roof over our heads and provide for our families. The challenge arises in how much is enough. Human nature is such that the more we have the more we want. And, if we can’t get more, we feel dissatisfied, disillusioned and insecure. Also, the more we have, the more we have to lose … a sure recipe for insecurity. Most of us spend all our time trying to protect what we have. When the grim reaper comes, as he will, inevitably each and everyone is going to lose it all. “No amount of money in your bank account can fill that hole in your chest called insecurity.” Shaykh Ebrahim Schuitema
    3. We come from a place of emptiness. Most of us believe that we were born empty and that’s why we strive to fill this hole in us. It’s a never-ending Sisyphean task. Even when we perceive that we fill a hole, there’s always another one to fill. If we believe we are empty our only course of action is to take as much as we can to fill that emptiness.
    4. There’s always a better gunslinger in town. No matter what we achieve, there’s always someone better than us, more well-off, has a better car and a better house. This leads to envy which motivates you to destroy and attack someone else because you don’t get it yourself. It also leads to jealousy where you compete with someone who has what you want because you feel you can get it.

    What’s The Answer?

    Set goals for yourself, by all means, but don’t confuse that attainment of the goal with security, happiness, significance, fulfilment and meaning. Achievement of goals are a measure of your production not of your human worth.

    • Don’t judge your worth by the result you’ve achieved in your life. Because even if you have ‘failed miserably’ by your standards or the standards you perceive others to judge you by, you are still worthwhile to someone. You were created for a purpose, your purpose may just not be apparent to you right now.
    • Understand that in most instances the work we do (process) gives us more fulfilment and joy than the actual outcome. Do work that makes you proud and the work that is useful and you will feel happier, powerful and fulfilled. The self help gurus have got it right when they say that it’s about the journey, not the destination. If you look at most ‘successful’ people I doubt that most of them thought they’d reach the level of success and fame they did. All they did was to create a magnificent work of art, work at it day in and day out for however long it took and, the rest was history. 

    “When man achieves his dream, there is neither reason, nor failure, nor victory. What is most important in the Promised Land is not the land, but the promise.” – Jean-Michel Guenassia, The Incorrigible Optimists Club