Category: Sales Decision Thinking

  • I’ll See It When I Believe It

    I’ll See It When I Believe It

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 40/365

    I’ve always been interested in how the Placebo Effect works. Or more accurately, that it works. 

    I recall reading this weight loss study by Crum and Langer in 2007. Researchers told half of the cleaning staff at seven hotels that their daily work burned enough calories to meet the Surgeon General’s recommendations for an active lifestyle. The other half did not receive this information. After four weeks, the group that received the information believed they were exercising more, even though their behavior hadn’t changed. They lost weight and lowered their blood pressure, body fat, waist-to-hip ratio and body mass index.

    The cynical me always used to say, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” The Pollyanna version of me now says, “I’ll see it when I believe it.” Basically, the Placebo Effect.

    That’s probably why I’m accepting of every human, religion, philosophy and culture and can adapt to any of them. I’ve come to understand that everything is made up of energy and operates on different frequencies. I choose to perceive that every positive thought and action I do is good for me and the entirety of everything that is. 

    This may or may not be true. But it’s true for me, therefore it works for me.

    I believe that every task we do, no matter how menial, is holy and has meaning. I do every task to the best of my ability as an offering to my creator for letting me play here.

    I believe that every task we do, no matter how menial, is holy and has meaning. I do every task to the best of my ability as an offering to my creator for letting me play here.

    This may or may not be true. But it’s true for me, therefore it works for me.

    I’m as comfortable in a church, synagogue, mosque, shamanic despacho ceremony, Buddhist meditation, as in a Hindu Kirtan ceremony. I believe they all carry a beautiful frequency and by exposing myself to this frequency I am positively transformed.

    This may or may not be true. But it’s true for me, therefore it works for me.

    I’m comfortable with the Bible, Torah, Bhagavad Gita, the Tripitaka and Quran. I believe that just by being exposed to them, I raise my frequency. Why, I even believe that by putting them into this article I’ve automatically raised the frequency of this text. Which is a good thing for both you and me.

    This may or may not be true. But it’s true for me, therefore it works for me.

    I’ve become comfortable with the notion that nothing is being done to me but for me. That I’m the point of it all (as are you) and that the universe is my ally, not my enemy.

    This may or may not be true. But it’s true for me, therefore it works for me.

    Let me go vacuum my home quickly, I can already feel the fat shredding from my body.

  • Particle

    Particle

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 39/365

    God: Hello Particle, I’m about to send you out into the world. What is it you’d like to accomplish on the journey you’re about to undertake?

    Me: I’d like to teach about resilience, love and forgiveness.

    God: Particle, these are truly noble pursuits. Are you sure this is what you wish to dedicate your lifetime to?

    Me: Yes, this is what I want to do.

    God: Well then I’ll turn you into a romantic. You’ll write untold words about love yet never experience it yourself. I’ll send you people who’ll strip-mine your heart until there’s nothing left but an ugly gash on the ground. I’ll send you a mother who blames you for her lot in life. I’ll bring you romantic entanglements that’ll eventually all leave you (broken and unlovable). You’ll learn to get up every time, you’ll learn resilience. 

    Me: Wow, that sounds awfully harsh. For both them and me.

    God: Not at all, Particle. They signed up to teach you how to get up from disappointment and how to hone your resilience. You will face tougher challenges than romantic failure and the longing for a mother’s love in your life, and you will need to be strong. They signed up to crack your heart open so that you can release the true love in you; for yourself first.

    Me: That makes sense. You’ve covered both love and resilience, but left out forgiveness. 

    God: I am God, I leave out nothing. Particle, I’m going to send you two fathers. One that will reject you and one that will abuse you. One will leave you when you’re a year old, and the other will stay with you for 13 years, teaching you resilience that can only be forged in the crucible of violence. They both signed up to teach you forgiveness. That was their journey with you. You’ll learn to forgive them in time. You’ll absolve yourself of the guilt you feel for being born and putting your mother through the horror that was her life. You’ll finally learn to forgive yourself. 

    Go now, Particle, and fulfil your part in my play. 

  • Armour Up

    Armour Up

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 37/365

    I know it’s probably sacrilege to say that I’ve never really gotten into Robin Sharma (The 5 AM Club – Morning Routine) or Jay Shetty, the two monk superstars. Both of them are proponents of morning rituals.

    My speed is more Pema Chodron, the Buddhist nun. Her book, When Things Fall Apart, has been a loyal companion to me over the years. 

    I perhaps have something to crow about. I’d been doing the morning rituals long before they wrote about it. First five years of boarding school at 13, and then two years of military service. But, that was never voluntary, so it probably doesn’t count.

    Voluntarily, I’ve been doing morning rituals for nearly 40 years, with meditation being my mainstay.

    I am a bit monkish about it when I say, “Morning for me. Afternoon for everyone else.”

    Every morning, I start my day by praying, meditating, writing, and walking. I do this because I understand that as the day goes on, challenges will gradually weaken my determination. By four pm I’m done.

    The other day, I forwent my ritual and didn’t meditate or walk. I paid the price. The day went sideways. I dropped my cell phone twice, how it didn’t break is a miracle. I wrote the biggest claptrap of an article I’ve written in years. My left calf played up, and I ended up limping (any calf whisperers out there that can tell me the meaning.) And, I irritated everyone I spoke to that day. I was clumsy and inarticulate (read into it ‘rude’).

    Now I know that, as Aristotle said, “One swallow does not a summer make.” So, perhaps I shouldn’t read too much into it. But this is not the first time that I have slipped my discipline and things went wrong.  

    Establishing a set of morning rituals is as essential as taking your vitamins. You don’t really notice a difference until you stop taking them. Then watch the wheels fall off. 

    Damn you, Robin Sharma, now I’m going to have to read your book, won’t I?

  • The night I turned into a ghost

    The night I turned into a ghost

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 34/365

    Just this Saturday evening I was at a friend’s dinner party when it happened again. I turned into a ghost.

    I was telling someone something mildly interesting when a woman inserted herself into the conversation and with nary a blink, started talking to the person. I exited the conversation and poured myself a stiff drink. Neither noticed that I’d left.

    It’s not the first time this theme has played itself out for me. It’s been an all too regular occurrence: insert, interrupt, ignore.

    I get paid to talk to people, but in social situations, I struggle to have conversations for free.

    I’m convinced that I’m interesting. I get asked to be a +1 at many functions because I can handle myself well in a social setting. I know I’m a marvellous specimen to look at, but it can’t just be that surely? I must be mildly interesting too?

    Do you sometimes feel invisible, unheard and unseen? Do you feel like you’re a ghost?

    I cook. I clean. I wash. I work. I pick up. I drop off. I love. I shout. I scream. They don’t hear me. They don’t see me. I’m alone. I’m a mother. I’m a ghost.

    I fix things. I work. I pick up. I drop off. I love. I shout. I scream. They don’t hear me. They don’t see me. I’m lonely. I’m a father. I’m a ghost.

    I stand on the street corner. I work. I wave my sign. I smile. I look frail. I’m hungry. I’m lonely. I’m hurt. I love. I shout. I scream. Why don’t they see me? Why don’t they hear me? I’m a beggar. I’m a ghost.

    I study. I eat. I stay in my room. I do chores. I love. I’m lonely. I try to fit in. I don’t fit in. Why am I invisible? I shout. I scream. I’m a son. I’m a daughter. I’m a child. I’m a ghost.

    I’m restless. I’m needy. I’m unfulfilled. I’m weak. I’m powerless. I’m in pain. I want to be loved. I want to love. I’m lost. I’m lonely. I’m alone. Please, someone, notice me. I’m human. I’m a ghost.

    If you have ever felt lost, unappreciated, unloved, shamed, apathetic, fearful, unfulfilled, regretful, guilty, dissatisfied, disjointed, fractured, or disappointed, then you know what a ghost feels like.

    It can’t find peace and leave this place because it’s stuck in a pit of self-pity, a river of regret, and a desert of depression.

    It’ll only be released to blessed peace and the bosom of mother Eden when it lets go of its expectations of how the world should be.

    If it expects the world to appreciate, love, and be grateful for its existence, it will be stuck in eternal regret, dissatisfaction, and disappointment.

    The ghost can only find solace when it realises that the world owes it nothing. Its children owe it nothing. Its boss doesn’t owe it anything. Its employees do not owe it anything. Its spouse does not owe it anything. The planet owes it nothing.

    It will only find peace and move on when it realises that it owes everything – appreciation, happiness, awe, gratitude and love to the world and those that rent space in it.

    We should make peace with the world as it is now and make peace with our role in it. The consequences and regret of not doing so will last for an eternity. The ghost will be released into joy only when it accepts things as they are and surrenders with grace.

    “Hello, my name is Jacques. I see you. I hear you. I feel you. Would you like to have a (uninterrupted) conversation?”

  • From A Life Sentence to Sentience

    From A Life Sentence to Sentience

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 32/365

    Most of us have been sentenced to a life of shame, apathy, guilt, grief and anger. Our shackles are the negative programmes our jailers (our parents) engineered into us. They implemented programmes to enslave us by imprinting lasting thoughts such as “you’re a stupid child,” “you don’t deserve anything,” “you’ll never achieve anything,” and “you shouldn’t exist.”

    They, too, were engineered by their parents, and their parents before them.

    Most of our parents were unaware of how easily we as children could be influenced by their words and actions, whether positive or negative. 

    In essence, our parents’ behaviours and beliefs became our own.

    The reason for this is of course the supercomputer called the human brain. 

    It mostly operates at its lowest frequency, 0.5 to 4 cycles per second, known as delta waves, from birth to two years of age. Thereafter, a child begins to spend in theta (4-8 Hz) up until the age of six.

    Give me the boy and I’ll give you the man. St Francis of Assisi.

    In its first six years of life, children can download an incredible volume of information to help them thrive in their environment. 

    Our brains store both negative and positive behaviours and comments as if they were facts, just like a computer’s hard drive stores bits and bytes.

    From six years old, children become less susceptible to outside programming with the increasing appearance of alpha waves (8-12 Hz). And, from 12 years onwards, children show sustained periods of beta waves (12-35 Hz). They become less susceptible to outside programming. Perhaps that’s why from 12 years onwards they become rebellious and riotous. It’s as if they know that they have been shackled by their parents’ beliefs. Essentially, they’re doing their best to get out of under the warden’s boot.

    When we react negatively to something someone said, it’s often because of a subconscious programme from our childhood. 

    Despite our parents’ unintentional (unconscious) efforts to negatively influence us, we have the ability to free ourselves from their programming.

    Once we recognise the malware in our brains, we can debug the system and reboot ourselves with a positive programme. 

    Once we upgrade our software we can turn a life sentence into sentience. I’d rather be conscious than unconscious, wouldn’t you? Let’s do the work to unshackle ourselves from our limiting beliefs and realise our destiny. 

  • Know Better Do Better

    Know Better Do Better

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 31/365

    Many of us struggle with guilt our entire lives and some try to avoid the consequences of our actions by denying guilt.

    I don’t know about you, but I’m on a first-name basis with guilt.

    I realised that my lack of knowledge and unconscious parenting has put my child at a disadvantage. The book “The Biology of Belief” by Bruce H. Lipton helped me understand this.

    That makes me feel guilty.

    That I couldn’t protect my mother from an abusive husband makes me feel guilty.

    I have a notion that guilt should be treated like BC (before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini – ‘in the year of the Lord’). Let’s call it ignorance and enlightenment.

    When we are ignorant we can absolve ourselves of guilt.

    When we are enlightened, we can’t.

    When I was a child I was unable to protect my mother. I now realise that I couldn’t have done better and shouldn’t have been put in the position of having to protect her. So there’s no guilt there.

    Despite my best efforts to disadvantage my child, they have turned into an extraordinary human being. I didn’t know better. So, there’s no guilt there. If I was to become a parent now, I’d have no excuse for making the same mistakes. I’d know better. I’d do better.

    So, why, when I know better, don’t I do better? Why do I keep making the same mistakes in different areas of my life and putting myself at a disadvantage?

    • Why do I choose chips over salad?
    • Why do I sleep in instead of exercise?
    • Why do I choose to dull my pain with pills instead of overcoming it with consciousness?
    • Why do I choose unhealthy habits over healthy habits?
    • Why do I alienate myself instead of building positive relationships?
    • Why do I choose unkindness instead of compassion?
    • Why do I choose cynicism over optimism?

    These are not easy questions to answer. They’re definitely symptoms of a lower frequency: shame, apathy, guilt, grief and anger. 

    These are the frequencies of death. Perhaps I’m just too cowardly to die quickly, so I choose to die slowly.

    I know better of course. That I’m still here means something. It means that I still have something to contribute to this consciousness. I’m still of value. I’m still love. I’m still a work of art. I’m still a masterpiece creating a master-work. I still have work to do.

    I know better that’s why I’ll keep trying to do better.

  • Guilt Is The Goal

    Guilt Is The Goal

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 24/365.

    I don’t know about you, but for me along with shame *(20), guilt (30) is a strong theme in my life. I feel guilty for not being able to protect my mother from an abusive husband. I feel guilty for being irritated with her that I had to cut into my working day to buy her pills. She was in a coma the next day, and dead a week later. I feel guilty for not being at my father’s deathbed. I feel guilty when I see a beggar on the street and ashamed of my ‘white privilege’. I feel guilty that I don’t have the financial wherewithal to help my child set up the business of their dreams. 

    F*!k me, it took me less than a minute to think of five things to be guilty about. What if I gave guilt more consideration? I might be incapacitated for months thinking upon my “sins” and wallowing in remorse, regret and recrimination; all fuel to my victimhood. 

    It’s hard to avoid feeling sinful and guilty all the time because we’ve been indoctrinated to believe that we were born into this state. I’m laying the blame squarely on the Christian doctrine of original sin, which asserts that humans are born with a flawed nature and an inclination towards sin, requiring spiritual rebirth.

    According to Psalm 51:5, we learn that we were born into a world corrupted by sin, and even our conception is tainted with it. Paul explains in Romans that sin entered the world through one person, leading to death for all due to sin’s universality. 

    Guilt is the goal for “sin and salvation” merchants to coerce and control us. Fear of punishment keeps us in check (and opens our wallets and purses … redemption has a price, after all).

    In my view, those who are fixated on punishment, such as religious institutions, countries, and individuals, are likely driven by their own guilt or projecting it onto others. 

    If we look back at history, and we only need to look a few weeks back, our propensity for cruelty is boundless. David R. Hawkins wrote that guilt provokes rage, and killing frequently is its expression. Capital punishment is an example of how killing gratifies a guilt-ridden populace. I feel that he is right.

    Many people have lifelong struggles with guilt, while others try to avoid guilt by denying it completely. 

    Everything starts with the individual before it corrupts the collective. So, you and I still have some power, albeit only over ourselves. Let’s admit and take responsibility for our wrongs. Once we know better we can do better. Let’s resolve to let go of our guilt. Let’s resolve to do better. If we truly desire to unleash our full and magnificent potential, refraining from indulging in guilt is the key. 

    * Shame and guilt vibrate at 20 and 30 respectively according to the Map of Consciousness.  

  • Why Life Is Like WhatsApp

    Why Life Is Like WhatsApp

    Article 21/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    I don’t know about you, but I belong to a bunch of WhatsApp groups. Most of them have a specific goal and in my experience, most of them lose their shape. People share irrelevant messages in groups, causing us to forget the original purpose of the group.

    Is life not similar?

    Like me, you probably had a vision for how your life would pan out and cobbled a plan together to get there. How’s that working out for you? 

    My plan to become a philosophy professor at Stellenbosch University died decades ago. My life didn’t shape out at all how I imagined it. 

    As the poet, Robert Burns, famously said, “The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry.” 

    I’ve realised three things. 

    1. My journey may not follow the exact path I imagined, but it is the correct path for me to express my divine self. Whilst it is at first not apparent, I am a philosopher, albeit not at Stellenbosch University. For the past 22 years, I have shared my philosophy of “finding a path with heart” in numerous articles and on over 2000 stages and classrooms worldwide.
    2. If you’re not on a path that fills your heart with joy, you can get off it any time you want to. There’s no affront to you or anyone else to do so. Like a WhatsApp group, you can leave it at any time. Do it now if your heart cries out for more.
    3. My life has turned out just as it should as dictated by my soul contract in its quest to reach its highest potential. My life is way richer and more fulfilling than anything I could have imagined for myself. That’s not by my own doing but by an ingenuity far greater than anything I can imagine. I surrender to that ingenuity to use me as it sees fit.

    Whatever path you’re on is the one that you’re supposed to be on right now based on how far you’ve evolved in your journey to express your true being. The more conscious you become of your divine right to play here at this time and of the purpose you have been brought to earth to carry out, the more fulfilled you will be.

    Photo Credit: Writesonic AI. “Discover a path adorned with a heart, reminiscent of the surrealistic style of Salvador Dali. Vibrant colors, dream-like atmosphere, melting and distorted elements, symbolic imagery, imaginative composition, oil on canvas, 20th-century art movement, highly detailed, thought-provoking, 4K resolution.”

  • The Failure of Schadenfreude

    The Failure of Schadenfreude

    Article 19/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    If you’ve ever felt joy at someone else’s suffering or misfortune, you’ve been in a state of schadenfreude (German: schaden = harm and freude = joy). 

    I’ve always thought that I’ve evolved to freudenfreude – the enjoyment of another’s success.

    Apparently not. I watch a lot of movies and love it when the goody wins and the baddy gets his or her comeuppance. I get a kick out of when corrupt politicians are exposed and punished. I applaud when the serial killer is sentenced. I jump for joy when the bully is cut down to size. I tremble when the terrorist is terminated. 

    The problem in real life, of course, is distinguishing between the goodies and baddies. From some perspectives there is no good and bad, only lessons to help us evolve into our divine birthright. That’s a bitter pill to swallow when you’re the aggrieved party, isn’t it? But, perhaps it is the most sensible way to look at things: that both good/bad isn’t being done to you, but for you. But, I’m wholly unqualified and primitive to deal with that question.

    I would imagine that baddies believe that they are goodies: USA, Britain, Israel, Hamas, China, Russia, Ukraine, Nazis, Right, Left, Liberal, Conservative, Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Jihadi, Spiritual, Secular, Criminal and Cop.

    I would imagine that goodies believe they are right: USA, Britain, Israel, Hamas, China, Russia, Ukraine, Nazis, Right, Left, Liberal, Conservative, Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Jihadi, Spiritual, Secular, Criminal and Cop.

    It is clear that we all perceive that we are good. We are, after all, the ultimate justifying machines. As the saying goes, “One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.”

    Before we follow blindly into an inferno of injustice we should all question the basis of our belief system. It is clear that when we think we are right (war) that things end badly for all of us.

    I feel that Carlos Castaneda got it right. “Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.” 

  • Are you a narcty imposter?

    Are you a narcty imposter?

    Article 18/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    I don’t get the concept of imposter syndrome.

    Apparently the latest afflictions are imposter syndrome and narcissism. These seem to be catch-all buckets for when we feel fraudulent and when someone is ‘narcty’ to us. 

    I don’t think I’ve ever suffered from imposter syndrome, and perhaps that denial can be seen as narcissism? Listen, I’ve been the most unbelievable chop. I’d like to believe I’m just unconscious and ignorant, not a sociopath with no sense of the other. 

    Imposter syndrome is not the same as low self-esteem and a warped self-image. I have had plenty of those.

    Imposter syndrome is when high-achieving individuals doubt their own intellect, skills, or accomplishments. 

    Metaphysically and spiritually one should never doubt that one is not where one is supposed to be. Thus, one can never be an imposter on one’s own journey.

    Some people feel guilty for having more privilege and education than others, which they believe has contributed to their “success”. Don’t: that is the journey that has been chosen for you. Do: make the most of it and use your ‘success’ for the betterment of everyone you come into contact with.

    Some people feel that they are lucky and fluked their ‘success’. Once again, this is how it was meant to be. There are no flukes in this life. Use your ‘luck’ for the betterment of everyone.

    Some people feel a form of survivor guilt and that it’s unfair that they became ‘successful’ whilst others didn’t make the cut. Again, that’s their path. Each one of us is on our own path. Our job is to ensure that we do the very best on that path, whichever way it presents itself to us. 

    I’m reminded of the story of Carlos Castaneda when he and his spiritual teacher, Don Juan, were at a restaurant. They saw beggars taking left over food off the tables. Don Juan asked Castaneda if he felt sorry for the beggars. Castaneda said that he did.

    Don Juan then asked him, “What makes you think they haven’t found the path before you?”

    It is an arrogance to think that you and I are not exactly on the right path where we have the choice to express the divine in us.  Success is our birthright. It just expresses itself differently for each of us. It is narcissistic to think otherwise. 

    Embrace your gifts and providence. That’s your birthright and the journey you’re on. Don’t squander it, share it.