February 29, 2024

I Wish I Had A Catherine Dickens In My Life

SA's best motivational speakers, Jacques de Villiers writes about reacting vs. responding and turning the unconscious into the conscious.

Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 35/365

Whenever Charles Dickens, the author, wrote scathing letters to those who he perceived to have offended him, Catherine, his wife, would always take them to the post office. She never posted them. And, saved him from a world of hurt. 

I don’t have a Catherine, so here goes …

Cut. Cut. Cut.

That’s how I started writing the article I was going to send out today.

It was going to be a Jannie Jammergat (Sad Sack) piece calling people out who I perceived to have offended me. I probably would have lost friends, and I can’t afford to lose any more.

As you know, the universe always works for my (and your) good. 

I got a phone call from one of my dearest friends. I read some of the article to him, and he said, “What do you hope to gain from this? And, is it the best use of your energy right now?” 

Thank you universe for channelling Catherine Dickens right at the moment I needed her. 

How often have you reacted instead of responding to a situation? It happens to me more often than I care to admit.

When we’re reacting we are running an unconscious programme, probably from childhood. We often react without thinking (unconscious). I know when I react it’s because I’m hurt. You know the old saying, ‘hurt people hurt people’. 

Give me the child, and I’ll give you the man.

Francis of Assisi

Of course, a better way to react to a perceived slight is to respond. This is called being conscious. And, it buys you a second or two so that you can respond appropriately. I’ve often found that the best response is no response.

Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone. Only as a warrior can one withstand the path of knowledge. A warrior cannot complain or regret anything.

Carlos Castaneda

It’s becoming apparent to me that whatever is offered to me is a gift even though it doesn’t always feel like it at the time.

The way I generally handle a perceived slight these days is to pause and think, “Mmm, that was eina. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I wonder why this has triggered me? It needs further investigation. Yay, it’s another opportunity for me to let go of something that’s holding me back. 

I then open my heart to the person who has gifted me with this insight and thank them.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.

Carl Jung

Jung’s right, of course, until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life. 

Let’s become conscious, you and I. It’s the best response to anything life throws at us.

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