Tag: Carl Jung

  • I Wish I Had A Catherine Dickens In My Life

    I Wish I Had A Catherine Dickens In My Life

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 35/365

    Whenever Charles Dickens, the author, wrote scathing letters to those who he perceived to have offended him, Catherine, his wife, would always take them to the post office. She never posted them. And, saved him from a world of hurt. 

    I don’t have a Catherine, so here goes …

    Cut. Cut. Cut.

    That’s how I started writing the article I was going to send out today.

    It was going to be a Jannie Jammergat (Sad Sack) piece calling people out who I perceived to have offended me. I probably would have lost friends, and I can’t afford to lose any more.

    As you know, the universe always works for my (and your) good. 

    I got a phone call from one of my dearest friends. I read some of the article to him, and he said, “What do you hope to gain from this? And, is it the best use of your energy right now?” 

    Thank you universe for channelling Catherine Dickens right at the moment I needed her. 

    How often have you reacted instead of responding to a situation? It happens to me more often than I care to admit.

    When we’re reacting we are running an unconscious programme, probably from childhood. We often react without thinking (unconscious). I know when I react it’s because I’m hurt. You know the old saying, ‘hurt people hurt people’. 

    Give me the child, and I’ll give you the man.

    Francis of Assisi

    Of course, a better way to react to a perceived slight is to respond. This is called being conscious. And, it buys you a second or two so that you can respond appropriately. I’ve often found that the best response is no response.

    Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone. Only as a warrior can one withstand the path of knowledge. A warrior cannot complain or regret anything.

    Carlos Castaneda

    It’s becoming apparent to me that whatever is offered to me is a gift even though it doesn’t always feel like it at the time.

    The way I generally handle a perceived slight these days is to pause and think, “Mmm, that was eina. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I wonder why this has triggered me? It needs further investigation. Yay, it’s another opportunity for me to let go of something that’s holding me back. 

    I then open my heart to the person who has gifted me with this insight and thank them.

    Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.

    Carl Jung

    Jung’s right, of course, until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life. 

    Let’s become conscious, you and I. It’s the best response to anything life throws at us.

  • Why People Irritate Me

    Why People Irritate Me

    I find people irritating. Not everyone, you understand. Just some of them.

    You know the ones.

    Those that say they’re going to do something and don’t.

    • Those that are humble and self-effacing when they shouldn’t be.
    • Those that say they’re going to lose weight and then don’t do anything about it.
    • Those that say they’re going to write the next big thing and then slumber in front of the television.

    They drive me to absolute distraction and to be honest, loathing.

    Of course, you know the real truth of the matter, don’t you?

    These traits that I so abhor in other people are exactly the ones that I carry.

    “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung

    Jung’s right, of course. All I’m doing is projecting my own issues onto these people.

    So, whenever I feel judgemental towards others, I take a moment to pause and ask myself “where are these feelings coming from?”

    And, when I pause, I realise that the very behaviours that the other person is doing is exactly the one that I’m doing too.

    So, what’s really happening is that I’m getting irritated with myself because I feel that I’m falling short of the standards I have set myself.

    It’s, of course, easy to point fingers at others so as to deflect the attention off me.

    The reverse is also true. When people look at me in irritation nine times out of 10 I know they’re irritated with themselves too. Because they see something in me that they don’t like because it sits in them too.

    So, when the ‘Lady doth protest too much’, don’t rise to the bait. Before you respond to the person, try and figure out what it is that is really bugging them so that you can diffuse added tension.

    But, living in a state of constant irritation is also not a healthy state-of-affairs. So figure out what it is about others that irritate you and if it is you projecting your own inadequacies, then do something about it.

    So, in my case I would have to keep my word, start claiming my magnificence, stop stuffing my face and exercise more and talk less and write more.

    But, not everything is projection. Sometimes our behaviour is unacceptable and we need to own that it is. As Sigmund Freud said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”. So, men, when you leave the toilet seat up there’s no projection issues from your significant other. She’s right, you’re just an inconsiderate lout that needs to take cognisance of other people’s needs and feelings.