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  • We’ll Probably F%ck It Up

    We’ll Probably F%ck It Up

    I recently watched a documentary called Lewis Capaldi: How I’m Feeling Now on Netflix. Wow, what a beautiful singer. He is afflicted with Tourette’s Syndrome and it almost scuppered his career. Thankfully he’s back – his gift is too beautiful to be snuffed.

    There was a scene where he said this about the Scottish view on life:
    “Let’s give it a go. We’ll probably fuck it up but let’s have fun whilst we’re doing it.”

    This sentiment appeals to me. I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking it up every day, and (sort of) have fun doing it. 

    Of course, this reminds me of Carlos Castaneda: “All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. … Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use. A path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you . . . Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself alone, one question . . . Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t it is of no use.”

    Go fuck it up. Get off a path if it doesn’t make your heart sing. And, have fun.

  • Are you brave enough to be courageous?

    Are you brave enough to be courageous?

    Vince Lombardi said, “Winners Never Quit & Quitters Never Win.” I’m going to argue that this is a dangerous sentiment, and ultimately false. I’m also going to argue that courage is ultimately more important than bravery.

    Some of you may know that I was conscripted into the infantry in 1982, like thousands of white South Africans. I spent 17 months in Namibia (previously South West Africa).

    As a soldier in a war zone, I was tested and had many opportunities to be brave. The scariest moment during this challenging time that almost drove me crazy was when I had to chase a Wind Scorpion out of my trench. Neither of us was hurt.

    I don’t want to talk about my banal and benign military experience, but rather about two people. One was a genuine soldier. The other, a conscientious objector.

    They show the difference between bravery (staying the course) and courage (quitting).

    The soldier was involved in a lot of conflict, and had many opportunities to display his bravery. He has the medals to prove it.

    The soldier and I had a chat one day and the conscientious objector, who is known to us both, came up. The soldier admired the conscientious objector’s courage in standing up for his beliefs. He said, “I wish I had his courage.”

    That’s when it occurred to me. Being brave in a war is comparatively easier than having the courage to speak against something you find abhorrent.

    What situation are you in now that you need to say “no” to and that you need to quit? I’ve no doubt that whatever path you’re on, it takes bravery to stay the course: A dead-end job. A loveless relationship. A soulless existence. A business that’s never going to fly. To quit these for something better takes courage, that’s for sure. It takes courage to play bigger than you are now. It takes courage to bring your gifts to the world. It takes courage to admit defeat.

    And, most of all, it takes courage to know when to quit.

    If I think about my own situation: I used to stay in untenable situations because it served me. I could play the victim so that I could get sympathy and attention. Quite pathetic, if I think about it now.

    I didn’t have to take responsibility because the ‘world was doing this to me’. It was only when I realised that the world doesn’t give a shit about my feelings one way or another, and that I was doing it to myself, that I decided to change.

    It was Carlos Castaneda that gave me the nudge that changed my life:

    “All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. … Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use. A path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you. . . Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, alone, one question. . . Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use.”

  • Write for Jackson Pollock

    Write for Jackson Pollock

    Someone once told the composer Morton Feldman that he should write for the “man in the street”. Feldman went over to the window, and who did he see? Jackson Pollock.

    When writing your blog posts, write about things that interest you. When you write like this, you find your tribe. What you find fascinating, they’ll find fascinating.

    What should you write about to find your tribe?

    Ask yourself: What would make you jump up with joy if you read it now? What would move your heart and stimulate your intellect? If you find something that makes you ecstatic, this is what you should write.

    You will write text that almost no one likes. Fortunately, almost no one is multiplied by the entire population of the internet is plenty if you can only find them. 

    Don’t pander to search engines to try and get your website rankings up. Don’t dumb your work down. The people you write for you aren’t stupid. Treat them with respect and write your best work. Write in as much vivid detail and beauty as you can, because that’s what you’d like. And, that’s what they’d like.

    That’s how you find your people. That’s how you build an enterprise that fuels the life you want.

    I got the idea for this article from one of my favourite writers, Austin Kleon.

    Photo Credit: DepositPhoto

  • Don’t Put Crap In The App

    Don’t Put Crap In The App

    If you’re a professional speaker, don’t be stupid like me. Don’t connect with other professional speakers on LinkedIn.

    I was scratching through my LinkedIn profile and got really excited because I saw that I had 9600 connections. 

    My excitement waned when I realised out of the stupid marketing mistakes I have made in the last 20 years, having so many connections, is right there in the top five of stupidity. And, believe me, I’ve done some really stupid things.

    It would have been OK if they were the right connections. I.e. my ideal client. In my case, sales managers and sales directors.

    It depends on which self-professed LinkedIn expert you speak to: only 15% – 5% of your first connections see your posts.

    So, at 5% (which I’m more inclined to believe since my average post only gets 200 – 300 impressions) I would reach 480 connections. 

    That would be great if they were all my ideal client profile: sales leaders.

    But here’s what this thing looks like:

    • 868 professional speakers. I love speakers, but they’re not my market. And, they do try. They like, high five, and comment on each other’s posts. Not mine so much. (´-ι_-｀) Except for the brief dopamine hit, it’s not worth it. Another speaker is never going to get me a professional speaking engagement. The ones that do, and there are two of them, I have on my phone. We call each other.
    • 1 600 coaches. Seriously, what was I thinking?
    • 24 plumbers and electricians. Ke?
    • 7 Wellness retreats, one called Chi Chi. Oy gevalt.
    • 1400 managing directors. That was looking better, until I went through a sample. Ninety percent of them are one-man/woman bands. Fooi tog, I didn’t know you could be a managing director of one person? ¯\(º_o)/¯
    • 287 personal assistants.
    • 2700 sales leaders ٩( θ‿θ )۶ That’s a start, or is it?*

    * Many people who are on LinkedIn are not on LinkedIn. Yes, they have profiles, but they’re not active. 

    So, what to do?

    • I don’t know, do I look like a LinkedIn expert? I’m as confused as the next person (⊙_◎).
    • You can ask a smart guy like Scott Cundill who is one of the few people I know who really knows his way around LinkedIn. The one thing that he said that stuck with me: “Don’t put crap in the app.”
    • If you want to connect with other speakers, do it on Facebook. Who cares about Facebook – a place where any original thought goes to die? For most of us, our ideal customer does not reside there. 

    I hope my therapist is right when she says size doesn’t count, quality and technique do. ​​

    ⊙﹏⊙ Well, it’s true for LinkedIn, I’m sure. Rather have a smaller 1st connection base that is full of your ideal clients, than a big one that is full of (☞^o^)☞  well professional speakers, plumbers, electricians, coaches, and ‘managing directors’.

    If connections don’t serve your agenda, perhaps it might be an idea to start disconnecting from them. But, do it slowly, like maybe five a day. We don’t want LI to think you’re a bot and put you in jail.

  • Even a cynic like me can believe in miracles

    Even a cynic like me can believe in miracles

    Some wisdom is timeless. If I read this quote today, I’d think it was written for our times: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” Charles Dickens – A Tale of Two Cities

    He left out serendipity and happenstance.

    A couple of weeks ago, I received a WhatsApp from someone I didn’t know. “Hello Jacques, how are you? Do you still work at “whatever” restaurant?”

    “I’m looking for an executive chef to run my kitchen.”

    I replied, “I think you have the wrong Jacques. I can barely boil an egg.”

    “（◎0◎）ᵒᵐᵍᵎᵎᵎ, sorry, wrong Jacques”

    I then replied, “Weirdly, I have a friend who is an executive chef, and she’s at a loose end at the moment.”

    “Please put me in touch with her,” she said.

    I did, and the rest, as they say, “is history.” My friend is now employed.

    I think this is the most wonderful miracle as my friend was getting rather desperate to find work.

    I’m sure that if you reverse engineer your life, you’ll be able to pick up that there’s a divine hand directing the path of our lives. Well, for me, anyway. Someone once asked me about my life. I said that it was a perfect mess. It is, and it’s perfect.

  • Do you have predatory attention?

    Do you have predatory attention?

    When we hunt an outcome, we have predatory attention.

    Be Still, Predatory Expectations …

    Our lives are full of expectations (hopes). When we walk into a room full of people we expect that they will like us and accept us. We expect things to work in our favour. We expect a result.

    What we are really doing is hunting an outcome. Our attention becomes predatory. And, it’s exhausting. The more you chase something, the more it runs away.

    Go, ask a tiger … for every 20 hunts it attempts it makes only one kill. The more we chase something, the more it eludes our grasp. Think about spammy marketing and pushy sales people.

    What if there was another way? What if we just did our best and became still and receptive to whatever the outcome is – good or bad. What if we just did something for the pure joy of doing it, and not for an outcome? How’d it be if we didn’t have any expectation?

    You know how this works in any case. Castaneda summed it up beautifully: All paths lead to nowhere, so find a path with heart. In essence what he is saying is that even if we get what we want, we will eventually be disappointed, and then we will want something else.

    It’s a never-ending loop. I figure that if I just am, have an open heart and temper my expectations, this journey will be a lot more fulfilling.


  • I have something in common with Alexander the Great

    I have something in common with Alexander the Great

    ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʟᴇxᴀɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɪʟɪᴀᴅ.

    One of my favourite pieces of text is Homer’s epic poem, The Iliad, about the last weeks of the Trojan War.

    This was Alexander’s favourite work too, and he read it endlessly.

    Homer’s other seminal work, The Odyssey, is also a favourite of mine. The protagonist, Hercules, was one of my favourite heroes as a child, after Paul Newman.

    Alexander’s tutor was Aristotle, who was taught by Plato, who was taught by Socrates. I’d like to believe that all of them read The Iliad too.

    I find it fascinating that their eyes pored over the same text that mine have. Books are a magnificent way to make gods and commoners the same, even if only for a brief time.

    I love the idea of it.

    * ɪᴍᴀɢᴇ. ᴛʜᴇ 12 ʟᴀʙᴏᴜʀꜱ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇʀᴄᴜʟᴇꜱ: ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀʀᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴅɪᴏᴍᴇᴅᴇꜱ.

  • LinkedIn profile commission for accidental realtor, Gadifele Moeng

    LinkedIn profile commission for accidental realtor, Gadifele Moeng

    Gadifele and I decided that on LinkedIn, she would aim to help real estate agents in Johannesburg. This is what I crafted for her.

    I’m an accidental realtor. I clean show houses so that real estate agents can close more deals more consistently. Housekeeper. Residential and commercial cleaning company.

    I bet you’re a bit like me: you like to hang out in a spotless, warm and welcoming house.

    And, probably more so, if you’re a real estate agent? A dirty or pristine show house could materially affect your income, couldn’t it?

    You probably already know that many potential buyers have been lost because of small things. Things like a dirty oven, extractor fan, sticky cupboard tops or wall markings to name a few.

    My name is Gadifele. I love cleaning so much that I started my own cleaning company in 2016.

    I’ve always kept a clean home, something I learned from my dear mother. When I had my children (2007 and 2010), they naturally took up all my attention.

    Both times, my housekeeping duties were severely curtailed, and my home started getting an air of neglect. Being a clean freak, it was more than I could bear. But this got me thinking, “What if there are other mothers that are too busy to keep a clean house? This idea took a while to germinate, but finally in 2016 I decided to take my shot and I started Gadmo Cleaning.

    From those humble beginnings, Gadmo Cleaning has grown into something rather wonderful. We now have 10 people cleaning homes, offices and industrial complexes in Johannesburg, and have completed hundreds of assignments.

    Around 2019, a real estate agent who was looking for a house for my family complained that a dirty house almost lost a sale.

    This got me thinking that real estate agents really could use my help. I then focused my efforts on helping them, and today, 80% of my clients are real estate agents.

    I don’t have to tell you of all people that selling a home is a complex affair. You’re mired with mandates, listings, pre-qualifications, loan approvals, show days, purchase & sale agreements, and a hundred other details that demand your attention.

    The last thing you want to worry about is whether your show house is up to scratch. And, you certainly don’t want to be cleaning the house yourself; you really have better things to do … like closing deals.

    The good news is that I have you covered. When my team has finished with a house cleaning assignment, you’ll be able to show the house with pride.

    And, yes, I get it. House cleaning may be a tiny piece of the entire home presentation and sales puzzle, and may seem inconsequential. But, it could be the difference between a sale or not.

    Let’s set up some time to chat, and let’s see if I can help you close more sales more consistently.

    Check out Gadifele’s LinkedIn profile. If you’re looking for a profile revamp, check out my service here.

    Check out examples of other LinkedIn Profiles that Jacques has crafted.

  • Do Not Go Gentle Into The Good Night

    Do Not Go Gentle Into The Good Night

    This is my minute presentation I gave to my BNI Chapter, last Wednesday.

    My name is Jacques, and I’m a legacy writer.

    For some reason, today I’m reminded of the words of the poet, Dylan Thomas.

    Do not go gentle into that good night,

    Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

    Peter (75) from Australia signed a contract with me to write his memoir because he wanted to leave memories for his children and grandchildren.

    Two days later his light burned and raved no more.

    Peter’s daughter asked me, “Did you and dad write his story?” I replied, “No”.

    Don’t let you and your parents’ memories disappear into the dying of the light.

    Write them down now, so that one day you can leave beautiful memories, and a legacy for those left behind.

    If I have learned anything as a memoir writer (5 memoirs to date), it is that you shouldn’t wait until it’s too late. Rage, rage now, against the dying of the light.

    Go make memories with your parents. And your children. Go now!

    Photo Credit: Depositphotos

  • Entrepreneurs don’t have a marketing problem, they have a belief problem

    Entrepreneurs don’t have a marketing problem, they have a belief problem

    If you feel overwhelmed by branding and marketing your business, you’re not alone.

    Even though I run a marketing shop, there are days when I find marketing to be a soul-sucking, money-gulping and time-wasting minefield, mired in complexity, empty promises and poor results.

    These are the days that I ask (｢๑•₃•)｢ ʷʱʸ?.

    Those are the days that I just want to blow it all up and go somewhere quiet, and play chess with my friends, drink whiskey, catch bass and write my books.

    Luckily those days are few, and my 20-year love affair with marketing gets me out of bed, excited.

    My name is Jacques, a marketing evangelist, author and professional speaker.

    Most of my clients come to me when they’re at their wit’s end. They’re:

    ＊ Confused (⊙_☉)
    ＊ Angry ໒( . ͡° ͟ʖ ͡° . )७┌∩┐
    ＊ Scared ☜ (◉▂◉ ) …

    … that the enterprise they’ve put their heart and soul into is not getting the traction and success that it should.

    They come in two forms:

    ＊ People who have never tried marketing
    ＊ People who have thrown money and resources at marketing, with poor results (or no results)

    In my experience, they don’t have a marketing problem, they have a belief problem. A clarity problem. And, they tell weak, insipid, and uninspiring stories.

    The actual process of marketing is easy. I’m sure that if you had the time, you could learn it and implement it quickly. But you don’t have the time because you have other priorities, don’t you? Like working on your craft and making sure your families are secure, and that your dreams come true.

    There’s no shortage of talent. Marketing professionals are ubiquitous. Shake a tree and a copywriter, social selling ‘expert’ or digital marketing agency will fall out of it.

    Let’s be frank. If your business is not growing and is contracting, you should consider increasing your sales and marketing efforts so that you can stay competitive and profitable.

    Hire marketers; I’m sure they’ll do a marvellous job for you. Seriously.

    If you don’t know where to start, I can introduce you to fabulous marketing people that’ll do an astounding job and deliver on any brief you have.

    My particular strength is getting your prospects to choose you, by:

    ＊ Clarifying your contribution so that you can build a business that inspires you, and that you’re proud of.
    ＊ Writing sparkling and brilliant copy
    ＊ Writing legacy-worthy LinkedIn profiles

    Set up a call with me so that we can explore how we can expand your business. Remember to bring a chess set, whiskey or a bass fishing rod (>‿♥)