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  • Don’t Get Shamed Into Certain Death

    Don’t Get Shamed Into Certain Death

    Article 22/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    Words that are synonymous with South Africa are apartheid and loadshedding. If loadshedding continues for much longer, our country will be recognised for two different periods – apartheid and loadshedding.

    The reason for these two periods is easy to identify: rabid racism and rampant corruption.

    There are two other words that are ingrained into South Africa’s collective lexicon, those are sorry and shame. These are insidious and dangerous, and their reasons are much harder to fathom.

    Have you ever had someone bump into you by accident, and they said “sorry”? I believe that everywhere else in the world where you’re more likely to hear excuse me or pardon.

    I hear the word shame bandied about regularly too. I have a family member who says shame to everything good and bad. I could say, “I won one million rand.” They would say, “Shame, that’s great.” Talk about having one foot on the accelerator and one on the brake.

    Sorry and shame both have very low energy levels in David Hawkins’s Map of Consciousness. Shame is the lowest at 20 and sorry/sorrow would be associated with grief which registers at 75. Just for context, anything registering under 200 is dense and negative. And, really does not serve you and me.

    I’m sure that you, like me, have been shamed. Like me, you have probably shamed others too. I know that I’ve got into some unbelievable mischief that has made me ashamed of myself.

    I sometimes still feel guilty and ashamed for not being able to protect my mother from my abusive step-father when I was young. And, that she said that she was ashamed of me for not being able to do it, didn’t help matters either. In truth, it left an indelible scar on my psyche.

    You may have a different trigger to me, but I’m sure there is one that puts you straight into shame.

    When we experience shame, it’s always painful, we lose face, become discredited and sometimes feel like a non-person. 

    Shame, regardless of how it is perceived, can ultimately lead to the development of neurosis. Shamed people can become shy, withdrawn and introverted. And, if you identify as a perfectionist, be aware shame could be driving you to become rigid, driven and intolerant.

    At its essence, shame is death. In ancient cultures, tribe members who failed to meet the expectations of their community were often banished into exile as a form of punishment. Without the protection of a tribe, a banished member would invariably die.

    I’ve realised that until I deal with my shame, it will keep on hampering me from becoming who I truly was meant to be, a divine masterpiece creating the master-work that is my life.

  • Why Life Is Like WhatsApp

    Why Life Is Like WhatsApp

    Article 21/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    I don’t know about you, but I belong to a bunch of WhatsApp groups. Most of them have a specific goal and in my experience, most of them lose their shape. People share irrelevant messages in groups, causing us to forget the original purpose of the group.

    Is life not similar?

    Like me, you probably had a vision for how your life would pan out and cobbled a plan together to get there. How’s that working out for you? 

    My plan to become a philosophy professor at Stellenbosch University died decades ago. My life didn’t shape out at all how I imagined it. 

    As the poet, Robert Burns, famously said, “The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry.” 

    I’ve realised three things. 

    1. My journey may not follow the exact path I imagined, but it is the correct path for me to express my divine self. Whilst it is at first not apparent, I am a philosopher, albeit not at Stellenbosch University. For the past 22 years, I have shared my philosophy of “finding a path with heart” in numerous articles and on over 2000 stages and classrooms worldwide.
    2. If you’re not on a path that fills your heart with joy, you can get off it any time you want to. There’s no affront to you or anyone else to do so. Like a WhatsApp group, you can leave it at any time. Do it now if your heart cries out for more.
    3. My life has turned out just as it should as dictated by my soul contract in its quest to reach its highest potential. My life is way richer and more fulfilling than anything I could have imagined for myself. That’s not by my own doing but by an ingenuity far greater than anything I can imagine. I surrender to that ingenuity to use me as it sees fit.

    Whatever path you’re on is the one that you’re supposed to be on right now based on how far you’ve evolved in your journey to express your true being. The more conscious you become of your divine right to play here at this time and of the purpose you have been brought to earth to carry out, the more fulfilled you will be.

    Photo Credit: Writesonic AI. “Discover a path adorned with a heart, reminiscent of the surrealistic style of Salvador Dali. Vibrant colors, dream-like atmosphere, melting and distorted elements, symbolic imagery, imaginative composition, oil on canvas, 20th-century art movement, highly detailed, thought-provoking, 4K resolution.”

  • Hardlife and a boy named Sue

    Hardlife and a boy named Sue

    Article 20/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    The other day I made the acquaintance of a man by the name of Hardlife. What were his parents thinking when they named him?

    Remember Johnny Cash and his song, A Boy Named Sue – “My daddy left. The meanest thing he ever did before he left, he went and named me Sue. Life ain’t easy for a boy named Sue.”

    Names have power as do words. I’m not sure if I would be thanking my parents as they thought, let’s set him up for a tough life and call him Hardlife or Sue.

    I have come to learn that the words we speak really do have power. They are spells we cast that create the world we live in, hence the word, spelling.

    I’ve started a bad habit that I learned from the science fiction writer, Ray Bradbury. He said that his wife married a writer because she didn’t mind ‘taking a vow of poverty’.

    I loved that phrase, and I’ve been using it. As in, I can’t meet a woman that will date me, a writer, because she doesn’t want to ‘take a vow of poverty’.

    I haven’t been on a real date for more than a year now. It’s been so bad that I buy bird seed so that at least I can attract birds to my garden to keep me company.

    One could argue that it’s my looks and cynical personality that scuppers my chances of getting a date and building a relationship. I probably wouldn’t disagree. 

    However, I have a strong feeling that it’s the words I use. The word ‘poverty’ vibrates very low. And, to be honest, my income is seldom where I’d like it to be. To be fair, as Wallace Simpson said, “One can never be too thin or too rich.” Or as my spiritual teacher, Etsko Schuitema says, “No amount of zeros in your pay cheque can fill that hole in your chest called insecurity. Perhaps that’s just the human condition, thinking that there’s never enough.

    I’ve been keeping a journal of how many times I say something negative. I’m quite astounded that I can still function with the amount of negativity I feed myself.  

    I’m learning to stand sentinel over my sentences and worry more over the words I use.

    I’m learning to use words that create positivity. That’s a better option, don’t you think? 

    Photo Credit: WriteSonic – AI depiction of Sisyphus

  • The Failure of Schadenfreude

    The Failure of Schadenfreude

    Article 19/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    If you’ve ever felt joy at someone else’s suffering or misfortune, you’ve been in a state of schadenfreude (German: schaden = harm and freude = joy). 

    I’ve always thought that I’ve evolved to freudenfreude – the enjoyment of another’s success.

    Apparently not. I watch a lot of movies and love it when the goody wins and the baddy gets his or her comeuppance. I get a kick out of when corrupt politicians are exposed and punished. I applaud when the serial killer is sentenced. I jump for joy when the bully is cut down to size. I tremble when the terrorist is terminated. 

    The problem in real life, of course, is distinguishing between the goodies and baddies. From some perspectives there is no good and bad, only lessons to help us evolve into our divine birthright. That’s a bitter pill to swallow when you’re the aggrieved party, isn’t it? But, perhaps it is the most sensible way to look at things: that both good/bad isn’t being done to you, but for you. But, I’m wholly unqualified and primitive to deal with that question.

    I would imagine that baddies believe that they are goodies: USA, Britain, Israel, Hamas, China, Russia, Ukraine, Nazis, Right, Left, Liberal, Conservative, Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Jihadi, Spiritual, Secular, Criminal and Cop.

    I would imagine that goodies believe they are right: USA, Britain, Israel, Hamas, China, Russia, Ukraine, Nazis, Right, Left, Liberal, Conservative, Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Jihadi, Spiritual, Secular, Criminal and Cop.

    It is clear that we all perceive that we are good. We are, after all, the ultimate justifying machines. As the saying goes, “One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.”

    Before we follow blindly into an inferno of injustice we should all question the basis of our belief system. It is clear that when we think we are right (war) that things end badly for all of us.

    I feel that Carlos Castaneda got it right. “Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.” 

  • Are you a narcty imposter?

    Are you a narcty imposter?

    Article 18/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    I don’t get the concept of imposter syndrome.

    Apparently the latest afflictions are imposter syndrome and narcissism. These seem to be catch-all buckets for when we feel fraudulent and when someone is ‘narcty’ to us. 

    I don’t think I’ve ever suffered from imposter syndrome, and perhaps that denial can be seen as narcissism? Listen, I’ve been the most unbelievable chop. I’d like to believe I’m just unconscious and ignorant, not a sociopath with no sense of the other. 

    Imposter syndrome is not the same as low self-esteem and a warped self-image. I have had plenty of those.

    Imposter syndrome is when high-achieving individuals doubt their own intellect, skills, or accomplishments. 

    Metaphysically and spiritually one should never doubt that one is not where one is supposed to be. Thus, one can never be an imposter on one’s own journey.

    Some people feel guilty for having more privilege and education than others, which they believe has contributed to their “success”. Don’t: that is the journey that has been chosen for you. Do: make the most of it and use your ‘success’ for the betterment of everyone you come into contact with.

    Some people feel that they are lucky and fluked their ‘success’. Once again, this is how it was meant to be. There are no flukes in this life. Use your ‘luck’ for the betterment of everyone.

    Some people feel a form of survivor guilt and that it’s unfair that they became ‘successful’ whilst others didn’t make the cut. Again, that’s their path. Each one of us is on our own path. Our job is to ensure that we do the very best on that path, whichever way it presents itself to us. 

    I’m reminded of the story of Carlos Castaneda when he and his spiritual teacher, Don Juan, were at a restaurant. They saw beggars taking left over food off the tables. Don Juan asked Castaneda if he felt sorry for the beggars. Castaneda said that he did.

    Don Juan then asked him, “What makes you think they haven’t found the path before you?”

    It is an arrogance to think that you and I are not exactly on the right path where we have the choice to express the divine in us.  Success is our birthright. It just expresses itself differently for each of us. It is narcissistic to think otherwise. 

    Embrace your gifts and providence. That’s your birthright and the journey you’re on. Don’t squander it, share it.

  • Train Your Two Year Old

    Train Your Two Year Old

    Article 17/365 of Jacques’s writing quest

    The other day I misplaced my keys (again) and lost my shit. I hadn’t lost my temper in a long time, so it was a strange and debilitating feeling. I had the most awful temper when I was younger, and I knew that if I never got it under control it would destroy me.

    Because we are justifying machines, I found a great but stupid reason for my volatility: my bloodline. I have Spanish, French and Arab coursing through my veins. It was a cute and convenient excuse for my ‘passionate’ disposition. 

    But it wasn’t cute at all, it was sad. Luckily, I learned early on in my life that whenever I flew off the handle I looked like a two-year-old child who had no control of his emotions.

    You know the one I’m talking about, don’t you? You’ve probably experienced temper tantrums and attention-seeking from a two-year-old, possibly your own? Feeling embarrassed when people look at you and judge you, saying “Control your child.” At that moment you (and everyone else) wished that you’d taken birth control.

    When we see an adult behaving like a two-year-old, it’s always uncomfortable for everyone involved, isn’t it?

    Of course, you’re smart enough to know that sometimes we behave like that two-year-old. And, more often, than we’d care to admit.

    And, nobody wants a two-year-old messing up their vibe.

    So, what’s the trick to dealing with your two-year-old self? I find that becoming an observer works for me. Going from unconscious to conscious. Hmm, I see my child is becoming problematic and making everyone feel uncomfortable. Let me remove him from this situation. He’s not in control, I am. He needs to learn to behave appropriately. 

    Don’t let the tail wag the dog. You’re the adult, act like it and train your child how to behave appropriately. 

  • The Healing Power Of Silence

    The Healing Power Of Silence

    Article 16/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    I have found true silence once in my life and since then I’ve been on a Grail quest to find it again.

    I don’t know about you, but I find that there’s too much noise around. If it’s not in my environment, it’s in my head. 

    And, having tinnitus buzzing in my ears, doesn’t help my Grail quest.

    I was taking a run at the Pinnacle Point Golf Course in Mosselbay when I came across a small valley. As I ran through it, all the noise ceased. I stopped, puzzled. I spoke just to make sure that I hadn’t finally gone stone deaf. 

    I sat down and absorbed the sound of silence. It enveloped me like a loving cocoon and soothed me. I became no thing, no one, and no place. For a brief moment of time (turned out that it was 10 minutes) I really felt as if I was connected to the great soup of consciousness.

    I felt like I was home with the great mother that I’d disconnected from lifetimes ago. For the first time in a long time (ever), I felt real peace.

    I’ve seen the healing power of silence, and it is something to behold. I went to the Bateleur Nature Reserve in Waterberg for a team building activity with around 15 corporate executives who were hardened, cynical, and jaded. 

    Our facilitators took us to a dry river bed one evening. They asked us to lie on our backs and look at the magnificent cosmos. We were then asked to close our eyes and let the majesty of it all take us. 

    It couldn’t have been more than five minutes when we heard the first sob. Then came the next one, and then the one after that. Before long, all of us were howling. 

    For me, it felt like every sin I was carrying disappeared. For the first time in my life I felt connected to all that is. It was a seminal moment in my life. The catharsis of crying is amazing. 

    I want to find that peace and connection again.

    Please, let the noise stop.

  • Sweet Teeth and Slavery

    Sweet Teeth and Slavery

    Article 15/365 of Jacques’s daily writing quest.

    Did you know that the average Dutch burgher in the day had shares in a *slave stock exchange? 

    And that’s all because the Europeans of the time found their sweet tooth and needed it satiated with cake, pastry, chocolate, and rum. The need for sugar exploded.

    Europeans weren’t tough enough to withstand the rigours of working in the Caribbean sugar canes. So, hundreds of thousands of enslaved men, women and children were shipped from Africa to the Caribbean.

    Sugar is responsible for the ruin of millions of lives, then and now.

    Countless people have died from obesity and diabetes related death as a consequence of humanity’s abnormally high consumption of sugar. 

    Its effects are insidious and devastating.

    Words, thoughts and deeds are like sugar. Insidious and devastating. Infrequently, they give us a wonderful rush. But mostly, they imprison us in a life of slavery.

    I’ve been doing an exercise over the last month to become aware of how many negative thoughts and words I have a day.

    It’s mind-numbingly appalling. If you believe that words, thoughts and deeds manufacture your world, as I do, then standing sentinel over our words is the most important thing we can do, when it comes to manifesting the life we want.

    If I spoke to my friends and family like I spoke to myself, I’d be alone, that’s for sure.

    Every time I speak words of blame and complain about ‘what is being done to me’ by powers outside my control, I dive straight into victim mode. Nothing of positive consequence can be created from there. 

    The good news, according to the late David R. Hawkins in Power Vs Force, one positive word and thought can negate all the negative ones. And, many arcane spiritual texts speak to this. 

    I find that a bit of a stretch, perhaps in the moment, that is true. Of course, it makes sense that if our lives are made up of seconds, then every second spent in positive word, thought and deed is a good thing, isn’t it? 

    So, how do we pull it off? It is clear to me that we have to move from the unconscious to the conscious. We need to practise recognising when we are in victim mode? How do you know that you’re in victim mode? That’s easy; every time you feel shame, apathy, guilt and grief. These create the emotional states of humiliation, blame, despair and regret.

    The more I notice my negative thoughts and words and bring them into the harsh light of truth, the more I can destroy them. Like a vampire in sunlight. Nothing can beat truth.

    I avoid judging my negative thoughts and words because doing so can cause me to spiral into more blame and criticism, which goes against the purpose of the exercise. I observe my negativity with a sense of curiosity, and I say, “Mmm, that’s interesting. Thank you for teaching me.I release you with love.” 

    Is it working for me? I feel that it is. 

    Is it easy? Not really, I’m repatterning, unlearning and releasing a lifetime (lifetimes) of negative programming. It’s a practice and a process. I am doing the best I can with what I have.

    Engaging with and transforming my mind, heart, and soul will help me move from being controlled to being in control, from slavery to mastery, and from being a victim to being victorious.  

    * Read the fascinating book, Sapiens. A Brief History of Humankind.

  • Witchcraft and Heresy

    Witchcraft and Heresy

    Article 14/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    Last year, I told some friends that I attended a business lecture at The Church of Scientology at The Castle in Kyalami.

    The response was overwhelmingly negative. “It’s a cult, they brainwash you, and they just want your money.” That pretty much sounds like every religion I’ve ever been exposed to.

    I got a similar response when I embraced Islam. “Are you getting fitted for your bomb jacket?” Same goes for my short flirtation with Freemasonry. “You’re making a pact with the devil.”

    Some people act as if Scientology, Islam, and Freemasonry are to blame for the current state of the planet.

    They think that it’s witchcraft and heresy. And, you know what they do to witches, don’t you? In the 14th century, 500 000 ‘witches’ were murdered over a period of two hundred years. That’s probably why I never tell people that I’ve astral travelled, searched for alien artefacts in the Karoo, played with an ouija board, built pyramids to sharpen my razor blades and that I have a sneaky suspicion that we may just be the slave species of the Anunnaki. And, I definitely don’t tell people that I meditate, pray and journal every day. Being burnt at the stake is not really the way I want to go.

    Every experience I’ve ever had with anything different to my Judeo-Christian worldview has been benign and to my benefit. It may be because I believe that everything that happens for me is for my good.

    I come from a home where curiosity and open-mindedness were encouraged. So, it is alien (pun intended) to me that many people are so closed off and refuse to entertain anything that is different from their worldview. I suppose they really do believe that anything different is dangerous. 

    If I look at David R. Hawkins’s Map of Consciousness (MAC), I have an inkling as to why this is. According to the MAC, 1000 hertz is enlightenment and 20 hertz is shame and 200 hertz (courage) is when we start to step into consciousness. According to the MAC, 85% of the planet is vibrating below 200 hertz. This is where we are mired in the dense energies of shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger and pride.

    Every nation that is embarked on a conflict or exploiting its people is a lower form of consciousness. You and I can’t do much about that. But we can start by elevating our own consciousness which starts with courage (200 hertz). We can be open to different. We can be curious and not judgemental. We can be kind and not cruel. 

    Let’s choose consciousness, you and I.

  • There’s Energy To The Familiar

    There’s Energy To The Familiar

    Article 13/365 of Jacques’s Writing Quest

    There’s energy to the familiar. Place has memory and time has memory.

    I’ll never forget when I used to sleep in the mosque (مَسْجِد) at the spiritual retreat in Walker Fruit Farms. I had a profound and tranquil sleep every time. Countless prostration and prayers echoed off the walls and rose up from the Persian carpets. It was like a homecoming to the source. Comforting like a mother to a child. 

    I’ve always loved hanging out in holy spaces. They carry the essence of the divine and the magnitude of everything that is. I’ve spent a lot of time in cathedrals in France and Italy, prayed in Dutch Reformed churches, given thanks at shamanic Despachos, meditated to music at kirtan, and remembered my Rab at Dhikr.

    I’ve created a small space for myself at my home where I undertake my spiritual practice; prayer and meditation. The more I practice in this space, the more I feel its energy growing. Sometimes I just step into the space, and immediately feel a profundity of being. 

    I’ve discovered that doing my spiritual practice at the same time every day, in the special space I’ve created, has a much bigger impact.

    I would imagine that the place and time has become what the NLP practitioners call a trigger. I grooved a habit. 

    I’ve managed to do the same for my writing. I write at the same place every day and have set up quirky rituals that help me get into the groove. I’m assuming that speaking to Hemingway is quirky and not on the road to full-blown madness. I always give thanks to the muse, Calliope who helps me become eloquent and heroic in my writing.

    The more I practice (spirituality and writing), the more the two intertwine and blur into a consciousness stream. I can’t tell the difference between them any more. I cannot separate them from me and me from them. We are no thing and one thing. The more I practice these things, the more I see a sliver of the divine. Let’s hope I don’t run out of road before I turn that sliver into a crack so that I can get a peek at enlightenment. How wonderful would that be?