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  • We Love The Lamborghini More Than The Lamb

    We Love The Lamborghini More Than The Lamb

    Work On The Stuff That Matters Or You’ll Be Left In Tatters (alternate title)

    I don’t know about you, but when I see a beggar on the street, I feel sorry for him. And guilty. I have so much and he has so little.

    But when I reflect that my job on this planet is to get on the path with heart and sort out my soul, is he any worse off than me?

    With all that I have been blessed with, am I actually better off where it really counts?

    It brings to mind a conversation that Don Juan had with Carlos Castaneda when they were watching street urchins scrounging left-overs from a restaurant.

    Don Juan asked Castaneda if he felt sorry for them? He asked him if he felt superior to them? Was he better off than them?

    Castaneda affirmed all the questions. I suppose knowing that there was a lesson coming even as the last ‘yes’ left his lips.

    Don Juan asked him what made him think that he would find the path before the street urchins?

    I’ve reflected on these words for a while and realised that Don Juan is spot on.

    When it comes to soul-work, guilt, judging anyone, feeling superior to anyone and feeling sorry for anyone (and, oneself) is a fruitless exercise. We don’t know who will find the path to sorting out his or her soul first (and, it’s not a race). The person we pity could be way down the path to enlightenment. You and I may not even have thought about a path.

    We love the Lamborghini more than we do the lamb

    In the West we tend to equate success with money, power and possessions. We think that our job is to get stuff and not to work on the stuff inside us. We’ve made stuff our god. We revere Rolex more than reading, we care more for praise (for ourselves) than for prayer, we love the Lamborghini more than we do the lamb and we’d rather be anywhere but here … in this moment. We’re confused and lost. Let me not put this on you and project … maybe I’m confused and lost.

    In my opinion, power, money, possessions feed our egos. They distract us from the true purpose: finding a path with heart and doing the work that the soul requires.

    There is a strong and valid argument that our quest for stuff could literally be the death of us. Right now, we’re little more than locusts, consuming everything in our path and raping our planet of everything that can sustain us. Our quest for power and to please our ego has already left our souls in tatters … giving us very little room for caring for one another. This drama is not going to end well, that I can promise you.

    You’re smart enough to know that by putting each other first we can still fix this planet, we can fix ourselves, we can find a path with heart and we can still sing our soul’s song. We can actually do work that matters. But we’ll have to become a lot less reliant on the notion that the stuff we consume and value right now will make us feel worthwhile.

  • A speakers agency is not the way to go for unblooded speakers

    A speakers agency is not the way to go for unblooded speakers

    Because I get so many calls to represent professional motivational speakers, I decided to write this article. Most new (unblooded) speakers reckon that a speakers agency will automatically put them on its books.

    The reality is harsh and unsettling for new speakers. They don’t.

    Are you one of the many brand new motivational speakers looking for a speakers bureau to represent you?

    Here’s the deal …

    … don’t.

    Unless you’re hugely famous or instantly recognisable, don’t consider using a speakers bureau until you have been at your professional speaking career for at least 4 years.

    When I started my career as a conference speaker in 1998, it was a different world. Many speakers bureaus signed up just about anyone who had a pulse and professed to be a professional speaker. So, it was easy to get on their books. Most of us didn’t make much money out of the speakers bureaus … but we were on their books.

    Not so easy now (to get on the books and to make money ;-)).

    This is so unfair!

    If you’re a new keynote speaker and you think it is grossly unfair that you can’t get onto a speakers bureaus books, look at it from their side:

    • Speakers bureaus are in the business of making money (yes, there’s also all the good stuff like connecting amazing people to audiences so that they can make a difference in the world). But, in essence, it is profit that counts. In South Africa, if a bureau can’t charge a professional speaker out at R15 000 as a minimum, then it is really not worth its while. From that fee, the speakers bureau gets 20% (in this case R3000). New speakers generally don’t start out at the R15 000 mark and often start out at less than 10k (the good ones grow into R15 000 and more in time). So, as a business case, a new speaker is not a viable option.
    • Unblooded and untested speakers are risky business. A speakers bureau has built up a reputation over years and for it to send in an unknown entity is a risk. If that speaker blows it, it directly affects the credibility (and income) of the bureau. At the very least, a speakers bureau needs to see a new speaker in action before ever considering placing him or her.
    • I suppose the best way to describe speakers bureaus is that they are like banks. A bank will only loan you money when you have money (for collateral). Speakers bureaus will generally only place you if you are a known, trusted, well-established and (relatively famous) expert.

    If you can’t get onto a speakers bureau’s books, see it as an opportunity:

    • I’ll share a secret with you. Speakers bureaus (in South Africa at least) generally only account for 2 – 10% of a speakers business. Yup, they’re not the Holy Grail, sweet spot marketing magnet you thought they were. So, you have an opportunity to become a great marketer and hone your speaking skills in the meantime.
    • Go and give your speech 100 times for free until you’ve polished it into something magnificent. Work your craft all the time.
    • You can take the pressure off yourself and work out a timeline for your speaking career by following Jane Atkinson’s focus list.

    Ok, so you think you’ve still got that special something and that this article is a load of nonsense and doesn’t apply to you. Well then come prepared. At the very least this is what a speakers agency wants to see:

    • A proper website with all your information in it
    • Your biography
    • Your keynotes and a brief explanation on them
    • A video or two of you in action
    • Testimonials from satisfied clients or audience members
    • References – contact details of some of your clients

    I’m a big fan of Jane Atkinson, The Speaker Launcher and have bought all her books. If you’re a new speaker I definitely recommend you getting her work – it will take years off your learning curve.

    Here’s Jane’s Focus List:

    New Speakers (0-3 years):

    • The Speech – make it good!
    • Position in the market as an expert
    • Build marketing materials that represent you (they may not be perfect)
    • Build your social media platform (focussed messaging)
    • Develop relationships with clients — get your name out there
    • Pull people into your team who might help you get there (part time, virtual)

    Seasoned Speakers (4-6 years):

    • The Speech — keep working it!
    • Take your marketing to the next level (now it needs to be good)
    • Reposition/reinvent, if necessary
    • Continue to grow your social media platform and ensure you are converting prospects to clients
    • Build on your reputation (which means moving your fee up the ladder)
    • Product Development — full steam ahead (some people may launch into the business with a book, and that’s great too)
    • Develop systems in your office — you’ll need them now
    • Build the team (staff — part time or full time)
    • Make inroads with speakers’ bureaus (work the business yourself for a few years before doing this)

    Seasoned Speakers (7+ years):

    • Re-position if necessary — new products, new markets — stay cutting edge
    • Continue publishing on your topic – will assist in raising fees and growing revenues
    • Narrow your lane even more – are you known for one thing?
    • The Speech — keep it fresh and fun for you — Reinvent it!
    • Marketing and social media — update (don’t get complacent)
    • Continue with long-term relationship building — keep your name out there in fresh ways
    • Stay in touch with your top clients on a regular basis, remember the 80/20 rule
    • Fine tune – by now your office should run like a well oiled machine

    By following the timelines above, it should take off some pressure and your need to do everything today.

    Permission to print the list was granted by Jane Atkinson – Speaker Launcher. Jane is the author of The Wealthy Speaker 2.0 and The Epic Keynote (her newest release).

    Jacques represents Speakers Inc’s interests in Gauteng.

  • We Are Right

    We Are Right

    Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past week you’ll know that there were two deadly attacks on Thursday and Friday in Lebanon and France. At least 43 and 129 lives were taken respectively. And, not to mention all attacks preceding these.

    I’m at a loss to explain how we’ve got to this juncture. But, then because it hasn’t affected me directly here in South Africa (yet), I’ve been indolent when studying this travesty. So, my knowledge on this subject is woefully inadequate.

    To me it appears that we’re in an ideological war with the three main protagonists tearing each other apart. Muslims who number around 1,6-billion, Christians who number more than 2-billion and Jews who come in at around 15-million worldwide are hell-bent on destroying each other.

    I know it is supposedly a radical few that are responsible for the death and mayhem. But, the majority seem to be powerless to do anything or pretend to be powerless.

    And, there seems to be a hardening of attitudes from all three ideologies in the centre. In other words, you and me who kinda just want to get on with our lives, are starting to take sides. It’s becoming harder for the middle to defend the policies of the Israelis with regard to Palestine. And, how often can the Muslim community say, “It’s a radical few and we don’t support them.”

    If one listens to the Israeli/Palestinian narrative, for instance. These two tribes want to obliterate each other from this earth. That’s it. There doesn’t appear to be a willingness to negotiate and talk. This narrative is going to reap a whirlwind that we won’t be able to control.

    I’ll bet China and Russia are licking their lips … just waiting for the spoils they’re going to pick up.

    I have three friends that I would take a bullet for without thinking twice … one’s a Muslim, one’s a Christian and one’s Jewish. That’s probably because I don’t see ideology, I see a human being. And, also, if I’m honest, these are spectacular human beings that can do far more good on this planet than I can.

    The problem with all three ideologies is that they’re at WAR … We Are Right. And, when folks think they are right and won’t look at other viewpoints this is when we experience the carnage we’re seeing in the world today.

    I think that the sooner we put our neighbour’s interest above ours and set him up for success, the sooner things will improve.

    We also need to start thinking for ourselves and not get indoctrinated by ideologies that have clearly lost their path when it comes to dealing in this human endeavour.

    Each one of us can do our bit. Remember, it only takes one to soften his stance and change and things will start changing.

    I can’t presume to read the mind of the deity you may worship, but my guess is that the way his/her children have turned out is mighty vexing.

    I think we were created to be in awe and gratitude and to be benevolent. We’re supposed to be our brother’s keeper. We’ve fallen so short of this mark that we can only be a huge disappointment to whomever created us.

    • As of this writing, there was another attack on Friday 20, November in Mali. 27 people dead. Good grief.

    Photo Credit: http://www.commondreams.org/views/2015/04/22/reading-if-stone-earth-day-why-we-still-wont-get-anywhere-unless-we-connect-dots

  • Book Review: Intent – Exploring the Core of Being Human

    Book Review: Intent – Exploring the Core of Being Human

    If you’ve at all been following my work, you’ll know that I think the best spiritual book on the planet is The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. Intent – Exploring the Core of Being Human, is in my top 5.

    You’ll also know that my favourite philosopher is Cher. Carlos Castaneda is second and I’d have to rate Etsko Schuitema my third favourite.

    The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.

    Cher

    After reading Intent – Exploring the Core of Being Human in 2015, I felt both excitement and trepidation.

    Excitement that I had found a roadmap on how to live an excellent life. And, trepidation because as I turned the last page, I knew that I could never again hide behind my feeble excuses.

    The statement, “The world we experience is a reflection of the register of our internal dialogue,” put paid to any idea I had of shifting blame for my lot onto someone else, ever again!

    The book contends that the unfolding of the highest aspects of ourselves are chiefly concerned with the maturation of our intent.

    It makes it clear that there are only two ways for us to live in this world. Our intention is either to get or to give. When we’re immature we believe that others are here to serve us (we’re greedy and fearful). As we mature we get that we are here to serve others (we’re generous and courageous).

    This raised serious questions for me as to where I was in the maturity journey.

    You’re Weak When You’re Here To Get

    An illuminating moment for me is that when we want something from others (get) it makes us weak. This aphorism slapped me between the eyes, “When you want something from the other their ability to withhold what you want gives them power over you.”

    This holds significance in my life as an entrepreneur. It highlighted to me why sales people are mostly weak in any transaction – because they are there to get (a sale) and not to give (solution/value). This puts the power firmly in the buyer’s hands.

    “The itch called insecurity scratches from the inside,” once again highlighted to me that living this life is an inside job.

    The World Is A Friendly Place

    I also found some perspective as how I could live in this world. There’s two ways I can perceive this world: in fear or in awe. The book poses the following question (amongst many), “How can the universe be hostile to me when everything I am made of comes from it?” I love the idea that the world is a friendly place and not as hostile as I often perceive it.

    Attitude of Gratitude

    The book also explores the theme of gratitude. I get the idea that gratitude is the mainstay of every endeavour. Without it we can’t be generous and courageous or find harmony and contentment.

    The book is not a simple read. It’s not for you if you’re looking for a silver bullet to solve all your problems. It’s going to take many readings for you get to grips with the lessons it imparts. But, if you commit to the book and make it part of your daily regime, I’ve no doubt you’ll be a lot closer to living a life of harmony, fulfilment and contentment.

    I’ll go so far as to say that this book will not only change your life for the better, but it has the potential to change the planet.

    Is it any wonder then that Dr Michael Jordaan, former CEO of one of the four dominant banks in South Africa, referred to Etsko as, “The philosopher for the 21st Century?”

    Etsko Schuitema is the founder of the Care and GrowthTM Model. Besides Intent – Exploring the Core of Being Human, he has written four other books. Altogether, more than 150 000 copies have been sold across the globe.

  • The Insanity of Chronic Remorse

    The Insanity of Chronic Remorse

    Robert Frost’s words have driven me to distraction for as long as I can remember: “Two roads diverged in a wood. And I – I took the one less travelled by and that made all the difference.”

    Whenever I have a choice to make, his words give me pause. Do I choose “what’s popular” or “what’s right.” I often look at myself with curiosity. Especially when I choose, “what’s popular” and not “what’s right.” Note to self – “You’ve still got a bit of maturing to do, don’t you?”

    When I come to a roadblock, an important decision or a crossroad, I try to make the right choice … the “one less travelled by.” I try and filter my choices through the lens of “what’s popular” or “what’s right.”

    Unfortunately, life’s not like fiction; and choosing a road isn’t as clear cut as it’s made out to be. In fiction there’s  a choice between good and evil, hero and coward, honest or dishonest, this allegiance or that allegiance and so on.

    In real life (well for me anyway) you get to choose between two bad choices or two good choices. A “lesser of two evils” deal.

    You know the ones. “Should I meet that client and secure a lucrative deal (that’ll set our family up for the next two years) and miss my daughter’s birthday party (and, live with her disappointment for life)?” “Should I tell him his speech stank (risking his ire and probable loss of his friendship) or should I keep quiet and let him keep feeding this disaster to more audiences (risking him being embarrassed in public every time he opens his mouth)?”

    I, of course complicate things and try and take both roads. That’s when I come unstuck.

    My favourite choice is like a cosmic joke. I choose the roads of lunacy and insanity. Well, actually, I choose lunacy first and then insanity follows.

    Sometimes I can be a lunatic. I can be stupid and behave badly and get up to absurd mischief that comes to bite me in the rear sooner or later. And then I end up with chronic remorse and follow the road of insanity by obsessing about the lunacy of my past. I go into chronic remorse.

    The problem with this strategy is that it is like rolling in the dirt and thinking you’re going to get clean. Absurd, if you ask me.

    I like Aldous Huxley’s take on messing up: “If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time.”

    This works for me. You don’t get stuck in the past. Which is a sure-fire recipe to stop you making the most of your present and can scupper your future.

    So, as you get to travel through this human endeavour, you’ll  always have choices. Some easy roads and some difficult roads.

    Both are instructive to you. But, the choice you make will reveal your character. “The road less travelled by,” is always the harder one, but the one that makes all the difference.

    Photo Credit: http://sites.psu.edu/mgeppingerpassionblog/2015/09/10/two-roads-diverged-in-a-yellow-wood/

  • Follow the Call (Slowly)

    Follow the Call (Slowly)

    I love the sentiment behind this quote by Joseph Campbell, ”Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”

    But, for most of us ‘following your bliss’ is a bit of a Grail quest, isn’t it? It is near impossible.

    I hear motivational speakers and authors say things like:

    • Follow your bliss
    • Find your passion
    • Figure out your purpose
    • Go for it
    • Just do it

    It’s easy to sprout this stuff when you’re earning R20 000 for an hour talk. But, for most mere mortals who are stuck in the day-to-day grind of eking out an existence, ‘following your bliss’ is not an option.

    It’s (nearly) Impossible To Follow Your Passion

    When you’re stuck solidly in survival mode, it is nearly impossible to think about following your passion.

    But, this is not to say that we shouldn’t strive for our calling. Finding something to do that really makes you happy is a sure way to discovering your bliss.

    The problem with a calling is that most people think it is an all or nothing deal. That you have to leave your job to write the novel that is just dying to get out, that you have to leave your family to travel or go to the wilderness to find yourself.

    You Don’t Need A Damascus Experience

    I blame Saul’s ‘Road to Damascus’ conversion for the illusion. He basically left everything he stood for on the dusty road and followed Jesus.

    There was no easing into the thing. It was an all-or-nothing deal for him.

    Now many of us don’t ever have a Damascene experience. And, if we did, we probably wouldn’t have the wherewithal to follow our new-found passion in any case. Or the courage to commit to an irreversible path.

    Even if we did know what our bliss was we don’t follow the call because we fear that we have to sacrifice everything to do it. There’s no rule that says following your passion is a zero-sum game. Who says that you can’t ease into your calling?

    They Kept Their Day Jobs

    For example, is it inconceivable that you can follow your passion of being an author whilst still working? These authors kept their day jobs and produced memorable art:

    • Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)
    • Bram Stoker (Dracula)
    • Franz Kafka (The Hunger Artist)
    • Frank McCourt (Angela’s Ashes).

    Work it out. If you just spent an hour a day and knocked up 300 words (An A4 page) in that time, you would have 109 500 words in one year. That’s close on 50 000 words more than the average novel (60 000 words).

    Who says you can’t ‘find yourself’ by going to the ‘wilderness’ one weekend a month. You don’t have to give up family and friends and your lifestyle to do this.

    So figure out what your calling is and then take small (and slow) steps to following your bliss. Because success after all is in the journey and not in the destination.

    Photo Credit: http://news.discovery.com/human/health/how-footsteps-can-reveal-speed-130422.htm

  • Is there a difference between an education and a degree?

    Is there a difference between an education and a degree?

    22 October 2015

    Dear Student,

    Go to University for an Education, not a Degree

    I’m happy to see that with the recent Rhodes statue protest (#RhodesMustFall) and now the fee increase protests (#FeesMustFall), our taxpayer money and your parents’ money is being well spent.

    It might be galling for those of us on the outside looking in. But, this is as it should be. This is your real education. You’re flexing your mental muscles, your communication skills, your persuasion skills, your social consciousness and your need to stand for something.

    What most students and their doting parents miss is that university is about education. It has never been about the degree you get at the end. The degree in itself is a useless piece of paper. The value you derive from the process of achieving the degree is priceless.

    Your education teaches you how to think. Your degree teaches you what to think.

    Letting go of your mother’s apron strings.

    By letting go of your mother’s apron strings and ending up in a melting pot of conflicting ideologies, race and culture is the most wonderful opportunity for you.

    You’re exposed to new ideas, different cultures, differing viewpoints and opposing religions. You have an opportunity to engage with this cauldron of difference and learn from it. If you’re astute, you’ll take every opportunity to test your tolerance, exercise your intellect and bury your prejudices.

    Along the way you’ll probably find that our hues and view may be different, but our sentiment are the same. No matter what vessel the spirit is housed in, we all want security, power, harmony and fulfilment, don’t we?

    Your degree speaks only to your ability to to sit still long enough to absorb and retain vast amount of knowledge. If you were tested six months after graduation, how much would you really remember? Your education gives you a chance to start building the foundations for your character.

    How you conduct yourself in the short time you’re at university speaks volumes for your character now and far into the future.

    Yesterday and the preceding weeks leading up to the storming of Parliament were a test of how far your character has developed. How’d you conduct yourself? Were you part of a ravenous, emotional, unthinking mob mentality? Or did you conduct yourself with nobility?

    Don’t worry. Neither answer is wrong. If you reflect on and think about how you handled yesterday, it may give you a moment of pause. Don’t lose the lesson. It will serve you well in years to come.

    I have a right to be educated.

    I know you think you have a right to be educated (preferably for free). But you do get that your ‘rights’ mentality makes you weak, don’t you? You are giving others power over you and your destiny. The government, the university and your parents all have the power to withhold your education. There’s little in your control when you think you have rights. You could perhaps be a bit more circumspect and realise that you are so blessed to be able to go to university. Thousands of others would love to be in your shoes, but aren’t.

    Understand that you also have a duty. You do get that in most instances it is your dear parents that have sweated, slaved and gone without to give you this amazing opportunity. You have a duty to honour them and actually get down to some work so that you can get that cherished degree (which in the grand scheme of things means little … more on this later).

    You don’t have the right to take their hard-earned money and wipe your backside with it. Yes, I know you’ve been untied from your mother’s apron strings and released from a cloistered life into a candy store of temptation and choice: sex, alcohol, drugs, attend classes, don’t attend classes, study don’t, study sleep in, sleep around.

    You’re probably aware that the student failure rate is massive … possibly because of the inappropriate choices the drop outs make.

    Remember, whatever happens from hereon in is a choice. A choice you make.

    #FeesMustFall

    Of course you have a right to protest if things are grossly unfair. But, you have a choice as to how you conduct yourself in the process. You can do it peacefully or violently, you can take people hostage or not, you can trash your classrooms or not and you can invade parliament or not. It’s up to you … it’s your choice. And, there’s no getting away from it, every choice you make has a consequence.

    You can choose to get an education or you can choose to get a degree.

    An education helps form you into a useful human being. A degree … not so much. I implore you to get a good education – develop your people skills, be tolerant of others and their beliefs, learn how to communicate, practice becoming more persuasive and become more benevolent in everything you do.

    The harsh truth of the matter is that your education is going to get you through this human endeavour, not your precious degree.

    The real world of work is harsh.

    The real world of work is not a pretty place. I say this for three reasons:

    #1 There are not enough jobs out there for all of you.

    The reality is that more than 60% of you will not be able to work in the field you want to, if at all. Many of you will go scuttling back to your parents, skiving off them for goodness knows how long because that piece of paper you value so highly is not likely to put food on the table.

    May I suggest that you be nice to your manager at your waitering job because you might be there a lot longer than you anticipated. Those tax-free tips are going to come in mighty handy.

    If you’re lucky enough to get a job, in the majority of cases it won’t be in the field you trained for. And, horror of horrors, you’ll probably be working in one or other sales job. This field seems to have the lowest barrier to entry (much to the detriment of the sales profession) and pretty much anyone can get in. Yeah, I know … being a sales person was never in your plan, was it? That’s why I’ve been harping on getting an education. You need to brush up on those life skills, persuasion, listening and thinking skills if you want to come out of the other side of the sales maelstrom alive. Coming out with your ego, your pride and a sense of worth, will be an added bonus.

    #2 Your degree doesn’t put food on the table, your education does

    If you’re lucky enough to be employed in your chosen field, in no way does your degree prepare you for the rigours of your job. That piece of paper only gives you a fraction of the knowledge actually needed to be useful to your employer. Some of you will drop out (or be forced to drop out) here and scurry back to your parents because the real world of work does not reward the degreed, it rewards those that can do the work.

    The education you received at university will serve you in good stead now. How you conducted yourself at university will show your true pedigree. If you made the most of your education; your discipline, your resilience and your ability to get along with people will ensure that you survive and thrive in your place of work.

    #3 Your chosen field of study is not your passion

    Studying in the wrong field (if you even wanted to study at all) is probably the worst part for many people. Those of you that are fulfilling your parents failed dreams at the expense of your own, know what I’m talking about, don’t you?

    It will become a soul-sapping, debilitating and disastrous journey that won’t end well. There’ll be recriminations, there’ll be tears and there’ll be disappointment … from both sides.

    So, figure out what you want. An education or a degree. The choice you make today will give us the adult of tomorrow. Protest if you must (and you must) … but do it with dignity. Claim your rightful place in this world by getting an education and not a degree.

    Photo Credit: http://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2015-10-21-feesmustfall-political-failure-triggers-ticking-time-bomb/

  • Do You Think The World Doesn’t Love You?

    Do You Think The World Doesn’t Love You?

    The other day a friend of mine made a statement that gave me a moment to pause.

    “Do you know what your problem is, Jacques?” “You think that the world doesn’t love you?”

    I was shocked. In those eight words he’d summed up my view of the world.

    But so what? My view is no different to millions of other souls trying to navigate this human endeavour. The world isn’t a friendly place. Isn’t it my lot to suffer through this thing and hopefully, I’ll hit heaven when it’s all over? Isn’t that what it’s about?

    Come on. It gave me two fathers, one absent and one abusive. It messed up my plans to spend a gap year after I left the army. It gave me an average brain that couldn’t muster up the marks to get into university. It sent me countless women to break my heart and mess with my head. It halved my hearing. It has given me one financial burden after another. It has left me looking back over what’s left of this journey with regret and remorse.

    It’s obvious that the world hates me.

    But is this true?

    “How can the universe be hostile to me when everything I am made of comes from it.” – Intent – Exploring the Source of Being Human

    Am I not part of the universe? Isn’t the very fact that there is a universe and that I have chosen to live in it something of a miracle? When I look at my daughter, haven’t I already got more than I’ll ever need and deserve?

    When I look at it this way, then it is obvious that I should change my view that the world is a fearful place that despises me. Perhaps I should pay attention and realise that the world is an awesome place that loves me.

    As I am part of it, why would it want to harm me and in so doing, harm itself? The better it treats me, the better it treats itself.

    But to see the world as a benevolent and not malevolent place, will take some work on my part. I’ve actually got to step up and take responsibility for how I interact in it.

    1. First, I need to realise that whatever my situation, it’s 100% because of me. The universe has given me exactly what I have created in my head and my heart.
    2. Second, I need to realise that all the material things that I’m striving for … to make me feel secure and significant, wont. “No bank account is big enough to fill the hole in the chest called insecurity.” – Intent – Exploring the Source of Being Human. My real job is to get my head, heart and soul in order. The rest is all a bit of a sideshow really. Every second of every day, every setback, every triumph and every interaction is there to instruct. It gives me an opportunity to exercise the gift that even the angels weren’t given: Choice. I can choose my response. I can choose to be fearful or awesome. I can choose to be selfish or selfless. I can choose to be bitter or better. I can choose to make every moment that I have left, marvellous.
    3. Third, I need to have an attitude of gratitude. If I interrogate gratitude … it’s probably the most important feeling to have – everything else is subordinate to it. When I realise that I’m exactly where I should be, that I have already been given more than I will ever need and that the world is a friendly and awesome place, then I can be truly grateful.

    Photo Credit: http://betterthansurviving.me/2011/12/

     

  • Beware Of Drinking The Guru’s Kool-Aid

    Beware Of Drinking The Guru’s Kool-Aid

    I’ve been known to hero-worship someone from time-to-time.

    I’ve even anointed people with guru status.

    And, I’ve believed everything that guru has said and taken it as gospel and blindly followed him.

    As I’ve gotten older and not necessarily wiser, I’ve realised that it’s a dangerous game to put your destiny in one person’s hands.

    The challenge is that most gurus, be they of the religious, political, spiritual, business or self-help persuasion, teach one ‘what to think’ and not ‘how to think’.

    I really have no problem if you’re following someone who you believe can help you become a human being that is self-sustaining and benevolent.

    Danger lurks when you lose your ability to have independent thought.

    There are numerous stories of things going horribly wrong when one subordinates one’s thoughts to the guru.

    Probably the most infamous case of this is the Jonestown massacre. ‘Guru’, Jim Jones managed to get 912 (276 children) to commit suicide by getting them to drink Kool-Aid and Flavor-Aid laced with cyanide and Valium on November 18, 1978.

    More

    • Hitler
    • Stalin
    • Women burned at the stake for witchcraft (sometimes just for owning a pet)
    • Gays persecuted
    • David Koresh
    • Race persecution
    • Charles Manson
    • Religious persecution
    • Stewart Traill
    • Incas (one of the most advanced (workable) government system ever) wiped out by the Spanish for God (actually wiped out for the gold)
    • Aum Shinrikyo
    • The earth is the centre of the universe
    • Claude Vorilhon
    • The earth is flat
    • Joseph Di Mambro
    • Every president of a country that has led us down a destructive path

    This is just a fraction of what is out there. I’m sure you can come up with your own list at a drop of a hat.

    “A nation of sheep begets a government of wolves” – Edward R. Murrow

    I suppose we all want to believe in something. But, with roughly 4200 religions and belief systems and just under 5000 gods to choose from (all professing to be right), finding a path is quite daunting. And, add all the self-professed gurus, claiming that only through them will you find true happiness … then it becomes downright confusing.

    I think picking a lane is a good thing because it can help us make sense of the chaotic world we live in. Picking a belief that has at its core benevolence to one’s fellow human is probably a good call. However, almost every belief system I know of professes to be for the benefit of others. Patently, this is not so and that leaves us back to square one.

    Who and what to choose?

    “Make yourself sheep and the wolves will eat you” – Benjamin Franklin

    • Remember. Most ‘gurus’ are just as stuffed up as you and me. They’re also fumbling around trying to make sense of this human endeavour. You know what they know. You just need to remember what you know, that’s all. You are your own guru.
    • Real gurus know that when they’re the smartest person in the room it is time to find another room. They don’t believe their own PR, are humble and know that they are only a fraction of the way to real understanding.
    • My take is to choose a belief system and someone that teaches you ‘how to think’ and ‘not what to think’.
    • Don’t allow others to think for you. Apply your mind and question everything.
    • Remember, that the person you choose to take instruction from is human and fallible, just like the rest of us. This person could be on the wrong path and leading you along it too.
    • Be wary of gurus that are self-promoting.
    • The same goes for gurus that say that their way is the only way.

    Blindly following someone and subordinating your free will to them is not an answer to your problems. It could very well be the start of your problems … leading to you losing yourself, your heart, your soul and your life. And, of course, destroying others in the process too.

    Read this article, How Do You Know You’re In a Cult?

    Photo credit: GetStencil

  • Walk The Yard

    Walk The Yard

    Prison genre movies appeal to something inside me. I’ve watched dozens: The Shawshank Redemption, Jericho Mile, The Green Mile and The Hurricane to name a few. And, loosely lumped into the prison genre are prisoner of war and 2nd World War concentration camp themes too … Schindler’s List (more a Holocaust story) and The Great Escape come to mind.

    “They ask questions of me”

    I think they appeal to me on various levels. They ask questions of me. Questions that I don’t always want to dig too deeply into because I’m afraid I might come up short. Am I a decent human being? Do I still have hope or am I so jaded and cynical that there’s no oxygen for hope to thrive? Do I have courage? Am I a leader? Will I die for a cause? Do I have a cause? Am I redeemable? Is the system so broken that I can never make a difference?

    Walk the yard with me and see how you stack up on this journey that you’re on.

    Hope and inevitability

    I’m cheering for the wrongly-accused, innocent man who needs to battle corrupt officials, malevolent gang leaders and a system geared in every way to destroy him. I’m either delighted when he gets out or distraught when he’s executed. This plot appeals to my sense of hope, in the first instance and my feeling of inevitability in the second.

    This theme plays to three of my biggest fears … being falsely accused of something and taking the fall for it, being abducted by aliens and not being able to tell anybody about it for fear of being thought mad and a five cent coin falling off a 50-story building and hitting me in the head and killing me instantly. I know, I know … thousands of rands of therapy and still no nearer to a cure.

    Can I be redeemed?

    Prison movies appeal to my need for redemption too. I’m always interested to see if a guilty man can change, redeem himself and take that second chance to do something meaningful with the remainder of his life. The redemption theme plays on my fear as well. In these movies the majority of the prison population is by ‘nature’ or ‘nurture’ irredeemable. The game is rigged and the outcome is inevitable. My fear is that I’m irredeemable too.

    Benign and gracious system

    These movies also appeal to me because I have hope that the system can be benign and gracious and not mad and malevolent. So, I’m always happy when a prison guard or warden turns out to be a ray of light and hope in a world of darkness and chaos. I gives me hope that I too can can emulate these special and rare beings and make a difference to somebody who is in a dark place.

    Will I pee in my pants?

    Concentration camp movies ask questions of my courage. Would I be able to stand up against a system that is abhorrent to anything that is decent. Would I be prepared to die to protect the innocent. Could I be an Oskar Schindler who saved 1200 Jewish souls during the Holocaust? Could I handle myself with honour and decorum and not pee in my pants when my death is certain?

    Leadership

    Can I be a great leader in the face of insurmountable odds and inspire my men like Squadron Leader Roger Bushell, in the great escape from Stalag Luft lll in 1943?

    Thanks for walking the yard with me. I’ll see you on the outside.