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One of the consequences of Covid-19 for me is that it has left me devastatingly isolated. It only became apparent to me the other day when a dog came running up to me whilst I was out walking.

It was friendly, so I patted and stroked it. Then I stuck my face into its fur and breathed in that dog smell. Then I burst into tears.

This was the first physical contact I had with a living creature for months. I don’t count the elbow handshakes, fist pumps and looking at someone behind a mask, two metres away. That doesn’t cut it for me.

Touching the dog was visceral, vital and invigorating. When the owner reached us, I had to force myself to let go of the dog.

It is clear to me that I need physical contact. I need a hug. I need to hold a hand. I need to feel someone else’s heartbeat. I need this to keep my heart beating, to be healthy and happy.

If there’s anything positive to this pandemic, those that are going through it with their partners and families, are better off than those who are alone.

In terms of longevity, the science is clear on this. One of the key ingredients to living longer is connection, companionship and conversation. Covid-19, in my opinion, is screwing the connection piece up big time (especially for those that live alone). I’m convinced it will reduce our life spans. I just sucked five years out of my thumb. It’s a good a number as anything. Whatever the number, I think you get the meaning.

You’ve probably heard of the Blue Zones where people tend to live longer than the rest of the world.

One of the key factors according to their longevity according to research is their sense of community and connection.

I’m sure that this is only a small piece of the puzzle. Their healthy eating habits and constant exercise must play a significant role too.

I think connection is worth exploring as a biohack to longevity.

I have no idea how to traverse the problem of connection in this day and age because I think that is off the table for a long time. Perhaps it would be a smart idea to adopt a dog for cat if you don’t have a family unit you’re attached to. Whilst you’re saving their lives, they’ll be extending yours.

That’s assuming that you take this pandemic seriously, of course, and don’t think it is some nefarious conspiracy to control humanity. I have a sex worker living next to me who does a roaring trade. First, ew. Second, are you insane and totally run by genitalia? But then again, many restaurants, family gatherings, religious institutions and the like, have all shown a big ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)╭∩╮to Covid and the health of their tribes. Why am I worried about a sex worker in the grand scheme of things?

See you later, I’m going for a walk. If I’m lucky I will run into a dog or a cat.

Photo Credit: GetStencil.

I’m too embarrassed to think how much time I’ve wasted railing against the world, something, someone or some situation.

I get angry and shake my fists at the heaven more often than I should (which should be never).

I’m embarrassed because I thought that the mental and spiritual work I’ve done on myself over the years would have set me up nicely to be above anger and judgement.

I thought I was beyond pettiness, anger and displeasure until I looked at some of my posts on Facebook.

Hell’s bells, it appears that I’m offended by lots of things, including:

Zuma
Ace
Screw me, I’m offended by the ANC in its entirety
Helen Zille
Elon Musk (Why is everyone in love with him … am I missing something?)
Steve Jobs
Mediocrity
Myself
Littering
And, Facebook itself

Carlos Castaneda gave me a moment to pause as he often does: “Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.”

He’s right, you know.

Feeling offended and self-righteous is a vanity I can ill-afford. Whilst the deeds or misdeeds of others distract me I’m missing out on an opportunity to do the most important work … working on myself.

It should be as simple as minding my own business and getting on with my real job which is preparing for the ultimate cataclysmic event in my life; my death.

But of course, minding my own business isn’t that simple, is it? I have to live in the world and I’m affected by what others do.

And, in this world sometimes things have to be put right.

When I believe something should be put right I ask myself whether I can or cannot do something meaningful about it.

Sometimes I just believe what Etsko Schuitema says: We are not here to fix things. We are here to witness how they work.

I’ve come to the conclusion that most places where I stick my nose in I really can’t make an iota of a difference.

I’m beyond arrogant if I think that my utterances will move the dial one iota.

So, why do I still persist on sticking my nose in where it shouldn’t be? Why do I persist in feeling offended?

Why do I persist with this self-importance?

I’ve come to the conclusion that it is easier to stick my nose in other peoples’ affairs than mind my own business.

Because minding my own business and working on myself is hard. It’s easy for Socrates to sprout forth, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Maybe I’m from the “ignorance is bliss” school, but I don’t always feel inclined to examine my life lest I bring up the dragons and demons that are simmering just below the surface.

I’ve slewed a lot of them.

But the deeper I go into myself, the more dragons and demons I find.

In the final analysis, I’m going to have to be courageous and start examining my life properly (damn you, Socrates) so that I can slay the dragons and demons and bring out the extraordinary miracle that’s me.

I should also be pragmatic and realise that there’ll always be one or two dragons and demons lurking around.

They’re just there to keep me on my toes and keep me real.

Examining my life is one way that I can honour my creator for gracing me with the opportunity to play on this planet for a little while longer.

Photo Credit: GetStencil

When you’re with anyone … a partner, a client or a friend … be interested and not interesting.

When you’re the most interesting (and smartest) person in the room, go find another room.

And, when you’re in that room, go and find the most talented person and stand next to her. Be interested. You might learn something.

Don’t get me wrong, its feels good to be the most interesting and smartest person in the room (never happened to me yet). Therein lies the danger.

• There’s the danger of our ego getting out of hand. We start craving the recognition more and more.
• There’s the danger of keeping the status quo when we think we know it all. This is treacherous ground. This you normally find in the narcissist at worst, and someone who believes his own public relations, at best.
• There’s the danger of others giving you too much control over their lives. It’s dangerous for them because they never get empowered. And it’s dangerous for you because the more control you have, the more temptation you have to abuse it.

“Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Lord Acton

Finding another room with people way smarter and more interesting than you is a big fat adventure. You expose yourself to more. You learn more. You realise that there is more than one viewpoint. You evolve and grow.

Here’s the thing, though. All of us are the most interesting and smartest person in the room. It all depends on which room we’re in. We’ve been conditioned to think that those that get good marks at school are clever and those that don’t (let me not sugar coat it) are stupid.

This thinking is flawed. Some top students are wonderful at memorising large tracts of information over the short-term. Just long enough to get it out onto an exam paper. But, have they really internalised the knowledge so that it can be useful in the future? Or have they parroted it?

We know that there are different kinds of smart. Would you call Pablo Picasso, who has gifted the world with some of the most compelling art, stupid because he couldn’t figure out 176 x 14? Go on, give it a bash without a calculator … what’s 176 x 14?

I know that when I get a plumber in to fix something in my house, right then I’m certainly not the smartest person in the room.

We’re all onteresting and smart in our own way. But the really smart folk know that they hardly know anything, and they are able to humble themselves enough to learn from others. They’re infinitely curious. They’re interested.

So, go and find yourself another room and become more interested than interesting because adventure and growth awaits you.