I’m too embarrassed to think how much time I’ve wasted railing against the world, something, someone or some situation.
I get angry and shake my fists at the heaven more often than I should (which should be never).
I’m embarrassed because I thought that the mental and spiritual work I’ve done on myself over the years would have set me up nicely to be above anger and judgement.
I thought I was beyond pettiness, anger and displeasure until I looked at some of my posts on Facebook.
Hell’s bells, it appears that I’m offended by lots of things, including:
Screw me, I’m offended by the ANC in its entirety
Elon Musk (Why is everyone in love with him … am I missing something?)
And, Facebook itself
Carlos Castaneda gave me a moment to pause as he often does: “Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.”
He’s right, you know.
Feeling offended and self-righteous is a vanity I can ill-afford. Whilst the deeds or misdeeds of others distract me I’m missing out on an opportunity to do the most important work … working on myself.
It should be as simple as minding my own business and getting on with my real job which is preparing for the ultimate cataclysmic event in my life; my death.
But of course, minding my own business isn’t that simple, is it? I have to live in the world and I’m affected by what others do.
And, in this world sometimes things have to be put right.
When I believe something should be put right I ask myself whether I can or cannot do something meaningful about it.
Sometimes I just believe what Etsko Schuitema says: We are not here to fix things. We are here to witness how they work.
I’ve come to the conclusion that most places where I stick my nose in I really can’t make an iota of a difference.
I’m beyond arrogant if I think that my utterances will move the dial one iota.
So, why do I still persist on sticking my nose in where it shouldn’t be? Why do I persist in feeling offended?
Why do I persist with this self-importance?
I’ve come to the conclusion that it is easier to stick my nose in other peoples’ affairs than mind my own business.
Because minding my own business and working on myself is hard. It’s easy for Socrates to sprout forth, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Maybe I’m from the “ignorance is bliss” school, but I don’t always feel inclined to examine my life lest I bring up the dragons and demons that are simmering just below the surface.
I’ve slewed a lot of them.
But the deeper I go into myself, the more dragons and demons I find.
In the final analysis, I’m going to have to be courageous and start examining my life properly (damn you, Socrates) so that I can slay the dragons and demons and bring out the extraordinary miracle that’s me.
I should also be pragmatic and realise that there’ll always be one or two dragons and demons lurking around.
They’re just there to keep me on my toes and keep me real.
Examining my life is one way that I can honour my creator for gracing me with the opportunity to play on this planet for a little while longer.
Photo Credit: GetStencil