Jacques de Villiers

Tag: success

  • The Failure of Schadenfreude

    The Failure of Schadenfreude

    Article 19/365 of Jacques’s writing quest.

    If you’ve ever felt joy at someone else’s suffering or misfortune, you’ve been in a state of schadenfreude (German: schaden = harm and freude = joy). 

    I’ve always thought that I’ve evolved to freudenfreude – the enjoyment of another’s success.

    Apparently not. I watch a lot of movies and love it when the goody wins and the baddy gets his or her comeuppance. I get a kick out of when corrupt politicians are exposed and punished. I applaud when the serial killer is sentenced. I jump for joy when the bully is cut down to size. I tremble when the terrorist is terminated. 

    The problem in real life, of course, is distinguishing between the goodies and baddies. From some perspectives there is no good and bad, only lessons to help us evolve into our divine birthright. That’s a bitter pill to swallow when you’re the aggrieved party, isn’t it? But, perhaps it is the most sensible way to look at things: that both good/bad isn’t being done to you, but for you. But, I’m wholly unqualified and primitive to deal with that question.

    I would imagine that baddies believe that they are goodies: USA, Britain, Israel, Hamas, China, Russia, Ukraine, Nazis, Right, Left, Liberal, Conservative, Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Jihadi, Spiritual, Secular, Criminal and Cop.

    I would imagine that goodies believe they are right: USA, Britain, Israel, Hamas, China, Russia, Ukraine, Nazis, Right, Left, Liberal, Conservative, Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Jihadi, Spiritual, Secular, Criminal and Cop.

    It is clear that we all perceive that we are good. We are, after all, the ultimate justifying machines. As the saying goes, “One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.”

    Before we follow blindly into an inferno of injustice we should all question the basis of our belief system. It is clear that when we think we are right (war) that things end badly for all of us.

    I feel that Carlos Castaneda got it right. “Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.” 

  • Success: Determinism or Fatalism?

    Success: Determinism or Fatalism?

    Article 7/365 of Jacques’s Writing Quest

    For each of us, the definition of success is different. But, for today’s mind exercise, let’s assume its career/financial success.

    I read somewhere that success is a choice. To achieve anything you want, just choose success and follow certain principles. You determine your outcome.

    I think that’s a flawed argument. It’s much more nuanced than that.

    Let me ask you, how many of us make a commitment to succeed, have the right mindset, do what we say we’re going to do, are ‘good people’, have an amazing support structure, visualise, do affirmations, practice manifestation exercises and still haven’t achieved ‘success’?

    Here’s another view. Success is based on luck or a word called ‘randomness’. Think about the usual suspects of success – Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Warren Buffet, Elon Musk et al. There are hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs in the graveyard of failure that came from richer families, are better educated and had more opportunity.

    Think on it, you had no choice of the parents you were born to. This was luck, God, destiny, fate … whatever you want to call it. You could have been born to a Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Black, White, Chinese, rich, poor, dysfunctional family. This very act changed the trajectory of your life. So, Gates, Branson, Buffet and Musk had a bit of luck.

    Gates went to a school that had one of the first computer centres in America. If he went to an art school, there may not have been a Microsoft.

    Talking about art. In his youth, Adolf Hitler wanted to become an artist. But his dreams were ruined because he failed the entrance exam of the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna. Hitler was rejected twice by the institute, once in 1907 and again in 1908.

    Imagine if Hitler became an artist, how would the world we live in today be different?

    Read Outliers. The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell and Fooled By Randomness by Nassim Taleb, and you’ll get how luck plays a massive part in success.

    The definition of luck according to Gladwell is where knowledge and opportunity dissect.

    Luck favours the prepared.

    So, keep on being the best you can be, keep on reading, keep on learning, keep on growing, keep on showing up, because one day, you might meet the person, read something or learn something, that could change the trajectory of your life.

    And, I’ll leave you with the hardest question. What if you do everything right according to all the success scripts out there, and you still fail at achieving your goals? Then this exercise called life would be a disaster, wouldn’t it?

    For me the trick is to not base my worth and success on my outcomes, but rather on the experiences I’ve had. Because, by God, I have failed at more things than I care to imagine. If I based my worth on those failures, I’d be in a desolate place. But, heck, all my failures and rare successes have given me the most amazing experiences. I live this life as fully as I can, and do the best I can, and that is enough for me.

  • It’s not about perfect, it’s about effort

    It’s not about perfect, it’s about effort

    One of my companions on this journey, Cobus Visser, the Superman of Africa ᕙ(o‸o)ᕗ (he really is if you take into consideration what afflicts him every day) posted this meme: “It’s not about perfect, it’s about effort” on LinkedIn the other day.

    He gave his opinion on it: “If you put in 100% of your effort, eventually perfection will follow. Do every task with passion and intention!”

    I agree with his second line. His first line not so much ¯_( ツ )_/¯.

    Although, Cobus is hugely successful, so he might put up a fight about my response.

    ᕦ༼ ˵ ◯ ਊ ◯ ˵ ༽ᕤ

    Here’s how I responded

    “Cobus, it does not follow that if you put 100% effort in that perfection will eventually follow. How many times have you put in 100% and never achieved the result you wanted? I can count 100s, probably 1000s of times in my case.

    It’s more helpful to focus on the process/effort to develop one as a human being. Perfection in the world of work and life is a myth. We’re just iterating all the time and incrementally making things better.”

    process eats results for breakfast. How to become successful at work.
    Process eats results for breakfast.

    A life coach responded to my comment with: “Agreed. I would say success will follow, rather than perfection.”

    I think that she fell into the same trap as Cobus. Here’s my response: If you interchange success with perfection, the same applies. Success is never guaranteed as a consequence of hard work. Success is often a roll of the dice. If you’ve read anything by Lebanese Economist, Nassim Taleb, you’ll get an idea of how it works.

    The skinny

    He says that there are millions of entrepreneurs in the graveyard of failure who are smarter, and have more opportunity than people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Richard Branson.

    He contends that a lot of ‘success’ (if we talk business and financial) is as a consequence of one word: Randomness.

    You need a bit of luck, or as I like to think, ‘divine intervention’ to become ‘successful’.

    Nassiem Taleb says that much of success is based on randomness.
    Build deep and wide networks

    You and I have little say in the affair. Think on it, you had no control over which parents were chosen for you. That was already the start of your journey. If you had been born to different parents and different circumstances, there’s no doubt that your life would be different, wouldn’t it?

    For me the trick is to build wide and deep networks. You never know when you’re sitting next to an angel.

    This will give you a better chance of being ‘successful’, but even that isn’t a guarantee.

    Be the best version of yourself, work on your business, become a master crafts person and show up excellent in the world. That’s all you can do, the rest isn’t up to you and me.

    ————————————————————————————————————————————

    Neither Cobus, nor the lifecoach were harmed in the writing of this article.

    I see that Cobus’s affliction is not mentioned on his website. Send him a note and say, “Jacques said I must ask what your affliction is). I’m sure he will tell you because he does so on stage.

    Photo Credit: Deposit Photo