Commercial Decision Design

Tag: spirituality

Racing the Grim Reaper
If you missed out on the last Salon, We’re walking each other home. Check it out here.

Let’s Do This!
1. Racing the Grim Reaper
2. In Sparta
3. The Dan Sullivan Question Redux
4. Rise and Kill First
5. Happy Birthday, Bruckner
6. When Does Science Become Spirituality?
7. Never mind …
8. Dear Apostrophe (a love letter)
Racing the Grim Reaper

“We’re all just walking each other home” – Ram Dass

You know that I write legacy stories, don’t you?

It’s all rather wonderful because I get to hear stories by people who are infinitely more interesting than me, and they’ve packed more experiences into their pinkies than I’ve done in a lifetime.

It’s also all rather sad. Most of the people I write stories for (or about) are over 70. I typically get hired by their children who want to capture a life and want to share memories with their children.

It occurred to me that by the time I’m in the picture, it’s a race to get the story out before the Grim Reaper walks them home.

Sometimes I get to them before they’re walked home. Sometimes I don’t. Three weeks ago I was on a Zoom call to Australia with an enigmatic, eccentric, interesting and razor-sharp intellect. He wanted to tell his story, and he wanted me to help him write it. Today, I got a text from his sister-in-law to say that he died yesterday. He was 75.

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to their grave with the song still in them. Henry David Thoreau (Walden).

I’m not sure if there’s a lesson here. If there were one, for me it would be that I shouldn’t waste another minute and that I should write my story soon. I’m, after all, racing against the Grim Reaper and losing.

It’s too late for me, but may not be too late for you: go and sit with your parents and grandparents. See them. Hear them. Listen to them and transcribe their story on your heart. They did, after all, write you into their story so that you can write your own magnificent story. They sacrificed for you and love you more than you’ll ever fathom. Go now … love them back.

If it is too late for you, like me; author your story to bear testament to those that wrote you into the world, and through your words, deeds and actions, let them be known.

In Sparta

In most cultures men/women can choose their career … be it an architect, lawyer, doctor, policeman or whatever.

In Sparta there was no choice in the matter. As a newborn son, if you survived the scrutiny of the magistrates and were deemed fit, your only job for the rest of your life was to serve in the military.

If you were judged physically unfit, you were taken to the wild gorge at Mount Taygetos, and left for the wolves. Your mother neither wept, nor protested.

This concept of ‘you only have one job’ resonates with me. Read more.

The Dan Sullivan Question Redux

In the last Salon I said that The Dan Sullivan Question was the best sales book ever. I pointed folks to an Amazon link. It appears that there is only a hard copy of the book. I have the E-Book, but that appears to have been taken off the e-shelf quicker than books exposing the Illuminati. I have the summary version if you would like to read it. Just pop me a note and ask for The Dan Sullivan Question and I’ll be sure to send it to you.

Rise and Kill First

If you’re at all interested in how Israel came into being and the role of Mossad in its survival and thrival (I know that’s not a word), then this is the book for you.

I was in Teheran in 2011when Mossad assassinated an Iranian scientist on his way to work. Not a great time for a westerner to be there, I’ll tell you that much. But, I’m here now and that’s a story for another time.

Interesting fact. Since World War II, Israel has assassinated more people than any other country in the Western world. During the presidency of George W. Bush, the USA carried out around 48 targeted killing operations. Under the presidency of Barack Obama, 353 such attacks were carried out.

Happy Birthday, Bruckner

This is my brother, Bruckner. He turned 69 on 5 October. I’m going to visit more!

When Does Science Become Spirituality?

Now, here’s a thing! When do science and spirituality meet, or interface? When does science become spirituality?

Way back in my hippie era, where everyone was a peace-master and wearer of baggy, multi-coloured clothing, protesting on the steps of the UCT Campus Hall or St. Georges Cathedral and listening endlessly to ‘Hair’, was de-rigueur – I read a book by Fridjof Capra called ‘The Tao of Physics’ that explored the possibility of science meeting spirituality. Capra was a nuclear physicist who researched theoretical high energy physics, and spoke about his epiphany in digging deeper and deeper into atomic physics – to quarks and quasars – and realizing that ultimately what was on the ‘other side’ was spirituality the “direct, non-intellectual experience of reality”. Radical stuff in those days!

My question to you all – is this – “Have we come any closer to a deeper understanding of this, yet – some 45 years later?”

Steve Johnson – Scientist

More resources:

http://www.sutrajournal.com/science-and-spirituality-by-fritjof-capra

https://gratefulness.org/resource/dsr-common-sense/

http://www.theyogicjournal.com/pdf/2018/vol3issue1/PartQ/3-1-177-791.pdf

Never Mind …

Another influential language tip from the hypnotist, Max Kaan. Never mind …

This is a great pattern interrupt. Regardless of where the conversation is going, when you say “never mind”, you are able to direct the conversation back to where you want it to be. “Never mind, that the price is competitive, never mind, the two-year guarantee, it’s our same day repair service that wins hands down.”

Dear Apostrophe (A Love Letter)

The apostrophe and I are great friends. by Tiffany Markman. She’s not over-sensitive (unlike the semi-colon); she’s just a simple creature with simple needs – and two key contributions to the English language.

We began our collaboration some 30 years ago. In those days, she’d regularly forgive my misuse of her good nature. Then we became allies. And now, as the rest of the world continues to abuse her, I have crafted a token of my love, understanding and support. Want to see it?

If you think someone else will enjoy this work, please forward it to them.

If this is the first time you’ve seen this Salon newsletter, go and check out the archives and subscribe if you’d like to receive more of them.

Jacques de Villiers is a legacy writer and author of What If Hollywood Doesn’t Call? A Fractured Monk’s Guide To Enlightenment.
October 8, 2020
Why I Write Long Articles
One of the criticisms I hear the most when it comes to my writing is that my articles are too long and convoluted.

That’s about right. When I reread them later it is clear that they’re not an easy read. They’re gritty, dark and stark of candy floss.
- It’s clear that I struggle to be articulate.
- It’s clear that I struggle with concepts and my own place in the world.
- It’s clear that I struggle to figure things out.
- It’s clear that I struggle.
A lot of my writing is a reflection of my own struggle to make sense of this uncertain life. My themes are darker – loss, fear, death, redemption, surrender, regret and wrong turns.

If I really think about it, my take is that both good and the bad happen to us to shape us into the beings we are today and the beings we are to become. If I really interrogate my view of the world, it is frightening in one sense and liberating in another. There’s a dim realisation deep in me that says, “You’re not in control of your destiny … something bigger than you is pulling the strings.” I have a feeling that my journey has been mapped out already. The only ‘control’ I have is how I use the cards that I’m dealt. That’s where I get to use my greatest gift …

choice…

The only time I’m ever in control is when I choose how I’m going to respond to anything that’s dished up to me.

When something bad happens to me and someone says, “Everything happens for a reason,” I used to get angry. Seriously, what a patronising response to my misfortune. I don’t get angry anymore because I’m starting to believe that it’s true.

The author, Douglas Adams says, “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I know I ended up where I needed to be.”

I attempt to end every article on a positive and uplifting note. It’s clear that my ‘happy endings’ are not bright, revelatory sunrises. They’re more like morning mist over a muddy moor … enough light to see but not enough light to totally trust the treacherous path.

I know that ‘success’ is tainted by shades of grey. I would imagine for every ‘success’ there was some collateral damage along the way.
- Maybe you become financially successful but lose your health and family along the way.
- Maybe you win the girl/guy and shatter your competitor’s heart in the process.
- Maybe you get to run a country but sell your soul to the devil for the privilege.
- Maybe you get to worship your God at the expense of someone else’s God.
- Maybe you get to live in the lap of luxury off the sweat of slaves.
- Maybe that diamond on your finger is a ‘blood diamond’ and tens of thousands of people died for that privilege.
- So, pretty much all success is tainted in one form or another.
I believe that we’ve been sold a lie that life is easy and that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Are we really all so naive to believe that we will experience the perfect life – a forever adoring wife/husband? Kids that love us unconditionally. The house with the white picket fence. Two cars and two dogs. And, when we meet our maker, it will be at age 80 from a heart attack at 3 am in our sleep. Painless and quick.

You see, my articles are long, tortuous and uncertain because I know that I don’t have easy answers for those that read my work. In fact, I’m just a bit of a poser. I pose more questions than give answers.

I’d rather die than come off the mountain with 10 commandments of how to live your life. The ink from my pen will dry up before I ever give you “The 5 Steps to Happiness; The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; The 3 Rules To Enlightenment and 50 Ways To Fight Your Fears.

I’ll never be so arrogant as to think I can walk in your shoes and feel what you feel. I’ll never be so crass as to say, “Everything happens for a reason”, when you have lost your job, your child, your health or your relationship. I can’t ever feel what it’s like to be inside your skin. I can’t ever really feel your pain.

I can just struggle with you in empathy and love and try an make sense of this journey. That’s all I can do. And, that’s why I write long articles.

Eccentricities that I like (and you might too)
1. Hat tip to Rich Mulholland for this piece. Kevin Kelly’s 68 bits of unsolicited advice. This is a super read and will only take you 5 minutes. Read the article here.
2. If you’re super stressed when you hear “My Fellow South Africans …” then learn box breathing (four-secs in, four-secs hold four-secs exhale,four secs hold) and try do it at least three times a day (three full boxes.) Once again, hat tip to Richard Mulholland for sending it to me. If you feel like you want to evisicerate two people on FB a day and then yourself at the end of the day, rather try the app, it’s brilliant. It will keep you out of jail and you’ll be like a Zen master.
3. How to talk to someone with no imagination.
4. A new definition of killing it by Margot Aaron.
5. The moral imagination by Seth Godin.
6. Take your promotional showreel from meh to memorable with Jason Hewlett
7. Barry Hilton made me miss my mom.
8. Skit Scot Cath has been entertaining me (and others) with her quirky and eccentric skits on FB. Go watch her and enjoy. She’s a real treasure
9. People are coming up with the most enchanting ways to laugh at themselves. This one is an absolute riot.
10. PechaKuchaJoburg will be going online soon. I’ve passed on the mantle to a delightful and enthusiastic chap call Bjorn Salsone (who MCd the last two events). He will take PK to the next level of its evolution. I’ll keep you in the loop next week when the ink is dry on the contract.
My best,

Jacques

www.jacquesevilliers.co.za

If you think someone else will enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to them.

If this is the first time you have seen this newsletter, go and check out the archives and subscribe.
May 16, 2020
The Disillusionment Paradox

Imagine your 80-year-old self reflecting on how you played the game until this point. Looking back, did you achieve everything that you set out to do? Some of it? None of it?

Did the promise life or at least GQ, Vogue and Cosmopolitan magazines make you come true?

Did you get that perfect life? The beautiful house. The beautiful body. The perfect wife/husband. The adoring children. Two cars and three pets (two dogs and a cat).

Did it play out well for you?

What if the promise was never kept and not one of your hopes and dreams were fulfilled (not even the dogs and cat). Would you feel like a failure? Would you be disappointed and disillusioned?

I would feel like a failure, wouldn’t you?

But, what if all that you were promised came true. Even the dogs and cat were perfect. Would you feel secure, powerful, fulfilled and contented?

Hell, yeah!

Mmm, maybe not so much.

The paradox is that whether you get what you want or not, you’ll always be disillusioned, disappointed and depressed.

One day when you meet those that were given so much, ask them one and all how it worked out for them: Whitney Houston, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Heath Ledger, Robin Williams, Bernie Madoff et alia.

Ask your average billionaire next door how things are working out – the 10-bedroomed house, the trophy husband, the yacht and the Lamborghini. When life happens – illness, infidelity, infertility, indigestion, ingratitude and infrequent intercourse – all the glitter and gold loses its shine, doesn’t it?

We’re mostly in a state of dissatisfaction and disillusionment where all we want to do is trade in, trade up or trade out, don’t we?

If family, friends, fame, Fendi, Ferrari and favour can’t do the trick, what can?

Focusing on the process of living this life and not the outcome is one way to make it count.

Because the outcome, whether you get it or not is always dissatisfactory. It never quite plays out how you thought it would. It never scratches the itch called insecurity.

Focus on the moment. Focus in the moment. Make what you do in this moment count. It’s art.

It’s process

It’s what is called life.

It’s perfect.

Jacques de Villiers helps organisations, professional speakers, authors and entrepreneurs triumph through: sales training, motivational speaking and consulting.

April 12, 2018