Tag: guilt

  • Know Better Do Better

    Know Better Do Better

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 31/365

    Many of us struggle with guilt our entire lives and some try to avoid the consequences of our actions by denying guilt.

    I don’t know about you, but I’m on a first-name basis with guilt.

    I realised that my lack of knowledge and unconscious parenting has put my child at a disadvantage. The book “The Biology of Belief” by Bruce H. Lipton helped me understand this.

    That makes me feel guilty.

    That I couldn’t protect my mother from an abusive husband makes me feel guilty.

    I have a notion that guilt should be treated like BC (before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini – ‘in the year of the Lord’). Let’s call it ignorance and enlightenment.

    When we are ignorant we can absolve ourselves of guilt.

    When we are enlightened, we can’t.

    When I was a child I was unable to protect my mother. I now realise that I couldn’t have done better and shouldn’t have been put in the position of having to protect her. So there’s no guilt there.

    Despite my best efforts to disadvantage my child, they have turned into an extraordinary human being. I didn’t know better. So, there’s no guilt there. If I was to become a parent now, I’d have no excuse for making the same mistakes. I’d know better. I’d do better.

    So, why, when I know better, don’t I do better? Why do I keep making the same mistakes in different areas of my life and putting myself at a disadvantage?

    • Why do I choose chips over salad?
    • Why do I sleep in instead of exercise?
    • Why do I choose to dull my pain with pills instead of overcoming it with consciousness?
    • Why do I choose unhealthy habits over healthy habits?
    • Why do I alienate myself instead of building positive relationships?
    • Why do I choose unkindness instead of compassion?
    • Why do I choose cynicism over optimism?

    These are not easy questions to answer. They’re definitely symptoms of a lower frequency: shame, apathy, guilt, grief and anger. 

    These are the frequencies of death. Perhaps I’m just too cowardly to die quickly, so I choose to die slowly.

    I know better of course. That I’m still here means something. It means that I still have something to contribute to this consciousness. I’m still of value. I’m still love. I’m still a work of art. I’m still a masterpiece creating a master-work. I still have work to do.

    I know better that’s why I’ll keep trying to do better.

  • Guilt Is The Goal

    Guilt Is The Goal

    Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 24/365.

    I don’t know about you, but for me along with shame *(20), guilt (30) is a strong theme in my life. I feel guilty for not being able to protect my mother from an abusive husband. I feel guilty for being irritated with her that I had to cut into my working day to buy her pills. She was in a coma the next day, and dead a week later. I feel guilty for not being at my father’s deathbed. I feel guilty when I see a beggar on the street and ashamed of my ‘white privilege’. I feel guilty that I don’t have the financial wherewithal to help my child set up the business of their dreams. 

    F*!k me, it took me less than a minute to think of five things to be guilty about. What if I gave guilt more consideration? I might be incapacitated for months thinking upon my “sins” and wallowing in remorse, regret and recrimination; all fuel to my victimhood. 

    It’s hard to avoid feeling sinful and guilty all the time because we’ve been indoctrinated to believe that we were born into this state. I’m laying the blame squarely on the Christian doctrine of original sin, which asserts that humans are born with a flawed nature and an inclination towards sin, requiring spiritual rebirth.

    According to Psalm 51:5, we learn that we were born into a world corrupted by sin, and even our conception is tainted with it. Paul explains in Romans that sin entered the world through one person, leading to death for all due to sin’s universality. 

    Guilt is the goal for “sin and salvation” merchants to coerce and control us. Fear of punishment keeps us in check (and opens our wallets and purses … redemption has a price, after all).

    In my view, those who are fixated on punishment, such as religious institutions, countries, and individuals, are likely driven by their own guilt or projecting it onto others. 

    If we look back at history, and we only need to look a few weeks back, our propensity for cruelty is boundless. David R. Hawkins wrote that guilt provokes rage, and killing frequently is its expression. Capital punishment is an example of how killing gratifies a guilt-ridden populace. I feel that he is right.

    Many people have lifelong struggles with guilt, while others try to avoid guilt by denying it completely. 

    Everything starts with the individual before it corrupts the collective. So, you and I still have some power, albeit only over ourselves. Let’s admit and take responsibility for our wrongs. Once we know better we can do better. Let’s resolve to let go of our guilt. Let’s resolve to do better. If we truly desire to unleash our full and magnificent potential, refraining from indulging in guilt is the key. 

    * Shame and guilt vibrate at 20 and 30 respectively according to the Map of Consciousness.