Category: Philosophy, Spirituality & Metaphysics

  • Embrace Our Better Angels With Kindness

    Embrace Our Better Angels With Kindness

    Article 11/365 of Jacques’s Writing Quest.

    My child teaches me so much – from channeling a Pict at four years old, to appropriateness and kindness.

    I was in Vic Bay, George with them a couple of months ago. A man was sitting on a bench enjoying the view. My child took out their sketch-pad and a pencil, and rendered his moment into a beautiful piece of consciousness. They handed the sketch to him. It was a wonderful thing to see how his face lit up. A small kindness changed a moment from something ordinary into something wondrous.

    Over the years I’ve watched my child compliment people on the street on their dress sense, body art and anything that catches their eye.

    They look for the miracle in the moment and then point it out to the other so that both can enjoy that moment. 

    They are empathy and kindness epitomised.

    I try to emulate them because I’m not always kind. Every time I’m kind to another being my heart opens, and I’m at peace. It occurred to me what I do to the other, the other does to me. When I open my heart to the other, their heart opens to me. 

    Of course, it shouldn’t surprise me because I’m connected to all 8-billion souls on this planet, and the countless beyond. When I see you, I see me. When I love you, I love me. When I hurt you, I hurt me.

    There’s no doubt that the world is in turmoil today. As a species we haven’t embraced our better angels but our darkest demons. There’s a reason for this.

    Most of us live in lower and denser frequencies, not in the frequency of our better angels. According to author, David Hawkins, who measured consciousness, 85% of the sentient resonate under 200 hertz. These are the frequencies of shame (20 hertz), guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger and pride.

    If we see the atrocities in today’s conflicts, and all those that have come before, there are no good or bad guys. There are only bad guys, or more accurately, only the lower conscious and cruel. This is the place where demons thrive.

    In this regard, none of us can go to our default setting of justification (why we are right, and the other is wrong). There’s absolutely no justification for the slaughter that has ravaged this planet since we became sentient and conscious.

    “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig.” 

    According to Hawkins, courage (200+) is the fulcrum that swings us from humiliation (shame) to the ineffable (enlightenment). From this beachhead we move up the levels of consciousness: neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, joy, peace and enlightenment (1000 hertz). 

    To shift this planet from humiliation to pure consciousness, someone has to make the first move.

    It may as well be you and I. What do you say? Let’s start with something small. Let’s gather the courage to be kind to others by being kind to ourselves first. From that small beginning, who knows what we can achieve?

    I’m excited about that prospect. Join me and embrace our better angels so that we can shift consciousness. Enlightenment really is our ultimate destiny, isn’t it? Let’s go and do that, you and I. 

    Thank you, my darling child, for helping me embrace my better angels. You and your generation are the fulcrum that’s going to move the world. I can’t wait to see what you’ll become and what you’ll create.

  • Head Beating Heart

    Head Beating Heart

    Article 10/365 of Jacques’s Writing Quest

    Today, I am feeling immensely frustrated. My coach, Claudina Hafenscher reminded me today that I’m still too in my head and not enough in my heart. 

    She’s right of course. I’m struggling and failing to do that. It’s not from lack of trying. I’ve been intentional about becoming a heart-centred person since 2015 where I spent nearly two years at the Sufi spiritual retreat.

    Claudina keeps catching me saying, “I think …” instead of “I feel …”

    In my unguarded moments I know that I feel because I cry a lot. Don’t laugh, or do, it’s of no consequence, the thing that gets the waterworks going are romantic comedies. “Love Actually”, “Love At First Sight” and “Leap Year” get my ugly cry going. Mama Mia, it’s all too much. 

    But, when I’m back in the world, I ‘think’ I’m in my head, mostly. 

    Two and a half years ago I met someone who is the epitome of heart-centredness. It was a wonderful experience, and she taught me a lot about matters of the heart. I think feel that for our short journey together my heart opened up, and it felt fantastic. 

    I was astounded at her success as a healer and coach. She had no website, rarely posted on social media except for posting photos of her delicious cakes, and looked at me blankly when I mentioned marketing. She worked online mostly and coached three to five people a day. I asked her how she attracted her clients. She said that she welcomes everyone with an open heart.

    At first, I believed it was all witchcraft and heresy. However, as I got to know her better and witnessed her success, I started to embrace the idea of an open heart.

    There’s enough science to back the concept up too. 

    The heart generates an electrical field with an amplitude 60 times greater than the electrical field of the brain. The electromagnetic field (EMF) of the heart, measured externally by a superconducting quantum interference device (SQUID), is 1000 times stronger than the field produced by the brain. It is the largest electro-magnetic field in the body, extending to a currently measurable distance of more than five metres from the body. Source: Awakening the Child Heart: Handbook for the Global Parenting

    The heart is an intelligent system. In the new field of neurocardiology, for example, scientists have discovered that the heart possesses its own intrinsic nervous system—a network of nerves so functionally sophisticated as to earn the description of a “heart brain.” Containing over 40,000 neurons, this “little brain” gives the heart the ability to independently sense, process information, make decisions, and even to demonstrate a type of learning and memory. Source: HeartMath

    About 18 months ago my heart closed off and all the good work was undone. My head is beating my heart. 

    I think feel that it might be an idea to reconsider my favourite quote from Carlos Castaneda: “Find a path with heart,” and find a path with “my heart”.

    Let’s see how that plays out.

  • Don’t Help. Love

    Don’t Help. Love

    Article 9/365 of Jacques’s Writing Quest

    The one sure-fire way to turn friends into strangers is by trying to rescue them.

    A friend and I were having a chat the other day, and we realised that we both suffered from the same affliction. We’re rescuers. We like to ride in on our horse like a knight and save the day. We agreed that it was a sad attempt to seek validation from others to feel useful. 

    I’ll tell you this much: the rescuing affliction has brought me and the person I’m trying to rescue more frustration and hurt than it’s worth. It has lost me more friends than any other mischief I’ve ever gotten up to. 

    “No good deed goes unpunished.” Oscar Wilde

    One of the primary ways I rescue is by giving of my one small talent: free marketing and sales advice.

    It occurred to me that even though some people say they want help at some level they really don’t want to be helped. And, it goes deeper than that; they can’t be helped. Not because they’re not worthy of help but because they’re not in a place where they can accept help. Sometimes they’re located in loathing, shame, apathy, hatred, guilt and anger. These lower frequencies allow no space for help.

    I had three interesting experiences with friends within a week while trying to help them with marketing advice. The detail is not important here; suffice it to say that all three thought that my advice was going to add too much friction and complexity to their lives. 

    The rascal called ego thought, “Let’s see how much friction and complexity you have in your life if your business tanks.”

    “Help me help you.” Jerry Macguire 

    I didn’t take an affront to their attitudes because I know they’re doing the best they can with what they have, and where they’re at. I can’t help them until they’re ready. It’s not lost on me that this is the biggest arrogance – that I think that they need help, and that I’m the one to help them. 

    I may not be able to help them, and I probably shouldn’t because they’re where they need to be, but I can love them. And, here’s a thought I can love me by not rescuing others. Rescuing myself is already a challenging task. All the time I spend helping and rescuing others, I could spend on myself. Maybe that’s how I can move the dial on consciousness for the brief time I get to play here?

    Of course, you’re smart enough to know that I’m not talking about marketing help. I’m talking about all the people in our lives that we’re trying to help, including family, friends, and strangers. They can’t be helped until they have the courage to be helped. But they can be loved. Let’s do that, you and I, let’s love them. And, better yet, let’s love ourselves.

  • Everybody was kung fu fighting

    Everybody was kung fu fighting

    Article 4/365 of Jacques’s Writing Quest

    Everybody was Kung Fu fighting.

    Those cats were fast as lightning.

    In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

    But they fought with expert timing.

    I love this song by Carl Douglas. Listen to it here. It’s certain to uplift your spirits. 

    I practised Kung Fu in the early nineties and entered a couple of sparring tournaments. I loved Kung Fu. The discipline and focus of it all. It’s an elegant style of fighting and something beautiful to watch.

    I remember when I used to fight in competitions. The fighting started beautifully. It was an elegant and eloquent work of art encased in a tapestry of fluid movement and effortless flow. 

    The fighting was intense and tiring (3 x 3-minute rounds). As the fighting progressed, and the contestants got tired and hurt, it started to lose its shape. Near the end, elegance and eloquence flew out the window. It became nothing more than a common bar-room brawl. Head down, swinging wildly, hoping to hit something. 

    When “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry” (Robert Burns), we go to our default programming. 

    I strive to live my life in flow – elegantly and eloquently. It has become apparent to me that I have a lot of work to do on that front. Sometimes, when I face difficulties, I tend to forget my good intentions and instead fall back on blaming and complaining.

    This default setting puts me straight into victim mode. The programmers were good and coded me with shame, apathy, guilt, fear and anger. Maybe they did that to you too? Victimhood is not a path that is helpful. We can all get off that path and programme another one that is more helpful.

    After all, as Carlos Castaneda said, “A path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you.”

    We can programme a better path for ourselves, one where mastery and not victimhood becomes our default setting. 

    The keystrokes of courage, awe, gratitude, love, joy and peace will help us on the way to our highest aspiration: Enlightenment.

    Let’s do that, you and I. Let’s play this game elegantly and eloquently. That’s a better way to live, don’t you think?

  • Impeccability

    Impeccability

    Article 2/365 of Jacques’s Writing Quest

    I read Don Miguel Ruiz’s, The Four Agreements. A Practical Guide For Personal Freedom a while ago.

    The book explores the four agreements: “Be impeccable with your word”, “Do not take anything personally”, “Do not make assumptions”, and “Always do your best”.

    I want to explore, “Be impeccable with your word.”

    According to the latest research in a Joe Dispenza interview, 50% of what we talk about regarding our past isn’t even true. And, that’s a discussion for another day.

    I don’t know about you, but I have been known to stretch the truth and sometimes downright lie. As a writer, I often need to add fiction to make the story more exciting. But that’s just a way of justifying things to make me feel better. Maybe I’m not just a writer but a bad human. 

    The fact is that we all lie to ourselves every day. Just think about some of the stories you believe, even now, that aren’t true. Stories that your parents, teachers and friends sold you. “You’ll never amount to much.” “Children must be seen and not heard.” “You’re going to hell if you don’t believe.”

    These stories are patently untrue because you are a masterpiece created to craft a master-work. Thus, you cannot be diminished. Unless you believe you can be. 

    For me there are three strong reasons for being impeccable with your word.

    1. We diminish ourselves

    By not being impeccable with our word, we diminish our worth. Not keeping commitments, even small ones like washing the dishes after we promised to do them, reduces our self-worth and erodes our standing in the consciousness of ourselves and others. I know that when I break a commitment, tell a ‘white lie’ or worse, a whopper, I loathe myself. By the way, just by having read the word ‘loathe’ you have been diminished ever so slightly. This is the power of words, use them carefully.

    2. Words create our reality

    Our words shape our reality. Words have real power. So, every time we use a negative word, we sabotage ourselves. The other day it occurred to me that if I spoke to my friends like I speak to myself, I’d have no friends. We’re extremely hard on ourselves. We have to change that and become gentle on ourselves. It is difficult not to be negative, especially in the dark times we live in. But, if we want to realise our potential, we need to start couching our words in the positive. The more we do that, the easier things become.

    3. We are bullshit detectors

    Our connection to all living beings allows us to easily sense when something feels off. When we lie to someone we know it, and they know it. The other person may not say it out loud or may choose to believe a false statement, but deep down, at a subconscious level, they know the truth.

    And, because we are all connected, when we hurt the other, we also hurt ourselves. 

    Practice speaking carefully to improve ourselves, create the reality we desire, and connect genuinely with others, including those we influence worldwide. 

  • What’s the big deal about non-attachment?

    What’s the big deal about non-attachment?

    Article 1/365 of Jacques’s Writing Quest

    I never considered non-attachment until someone I loved left me to start a new life overseas.

    I’d heard that attachment leads to pain and suffering. And, in my case, and in this instance, it was spot on. I was devastated. It must have taken me a year for me to recover from the ‘loss’ of this soul mate. 

    I was in a happy place with her and my desire to stay in this place of happiness caused me to attach. I wanted this happiness to stay forever.

    Time has moved on, and I’ve healed. I’ve also had time to explore the concept of non-attachment. I’ve realised that everything is ephemeral. You may argue that a 40-year relationship or a 90-year-old life is a long time, but in the grand scheme of the universe it is but a blink of an eye. 

    We are all going to lose something or someone on the way to navigating our way to our final loss; our own demise.

    Two tricks I’ve been practising which have served me in good stead recently are to not get attached to an outcome, and that I possess nothing.

    Detach from Outcomes

    Fortunately, I learned not to get attached to an outcome a long time ago. It has served me well. I’ve tried and failed so many times that if I had to take my failures personally, I don’t think I’d be able to function. I’ve asked countless women out, and perhaps a handful have said yes. And, that was good enough for me. I’ve made thousands of sales calls in my lifetime, and a small percentage of those bought what I had to sell. That’s good enough for me. I’ve played thousands of games of chess, and lost most of them. That’s good enough for me. I’ve been lucky because I see life like a game. And, for me, it’s about the joy of the game. I just want to play the game well, win or lose. 

    I Possess Nothing

    This is a more difficult concept and another story altogether. I’m so used to saying ‘my’ and ‘mine’ that it is coded into my DNA. That’s a harder habit to kick. It occurred to me that I possess nothing. Yet, I think I do. 

    That’s ‘my phone’. ‘My house’. ‘My car’. ‘My cat’. ‘My employee’. ‘My wife’. ‘My child’. It’s a better idea to look at ‘my car’ as a car. ‘My phone’ as a phone. Of course, it’s harder to say a girlfriend than my girlfriend. She probably won’t take kindly to me introducing her as a girlfriend, and I’ll be banished to my couch. It’s harder to say a child than my child. 

    Since when has any soul in my orbit become a possession of mine? At best, I’m a custodian of a soul for a brief time. Just because I’m practising non-attachment to another human being, it doesn’t mean that I’m uncaring or disassociated. On the contrary, I’m privileged to have custody of this soul’s well-being for a short time. This is a great responsibility, and one that I tackle with love, kindness and compassion. 

    I Was Given An Opportunity To Practise Non-Attachment

    This practice of non-attachment came in handy recently after ‘my’ a car that I’m driving at the moment, was trashed by hail outside a restaurant I was visiting. The damage was devastating. Typically, after such an incident, I would have felt regret, remorse and recrimination. “Why did I go out tonight?” “Why can’t I have one night without something going wrong?” “Can’t I catch a break?” “Why does this always happen to me?” This, of course, would lead me down the path of where I think something is being done to me, which is a hop, skip and a jump away from victimhood. 

    I have to be honest, when I saw the car, I did have a moment of angst. But because I’ve practised not being attached to ‘my’ a car, I recovered quickly. Also, I was distracted by a car guard who was soaking wet and looked really sorry that he couldn’t protect the car. This beautiful human was way more valuable than my a car. It was more appropriate to give him attention and not the car. I thanked him for looking out for the car and gave him a generous tip.

    This was a small victory, but I’m convinced the more I practise non-attachment, the more I’ll keep my equanimity in any situation where I perceive a ‘loss’. 

    Thinking of possession as custodianship and accepting that everything and everyone eventually comes to an end, including myself, brings me peace and comfort. That can’t be a bad thing, can it? It’s getting late, and I need to shut down ‘my’ computer and go to ‘my’ bed. Night, night.

  • Small Miracle

    Small Miracle

    The other day something strange happened to me. I manifested money out of what seemed to be thin air. It was a small miracle. It was surreal. Hence, the Salvador Dalí theme.

    A client of mine owed me 10k. I saw that he was on holiday in the UK. Mmm. For a brief second I felt like the victim … “He’s having fun with my money”. Then I got over myself.

    I then remembered that he had a benefactor that probably paid for his stay. So, I cut him some slack. And, of course, he’s also a great guy.

    I thought I’d give it a shot and ask him for the money he owed (10k). So I sent him a WhatsApp note.

    >>> Hello you. Just checking in to see if you got the invoice? And, have you got an idea when you’ll be paying? ????????

    In my head, I was being a bit of a bitch and thought, “Get your benefactor to pay, why don’t you?”

    >>> Client: Do you have a link where I can pay with a card? I have a friend that will pay for me this month, but he can only pay with his card.

    Then I thought, let’s push the envelope. In my head I said, “Why don’t you get him to pay 20k?”

    Two minutes later I got this. >>> Can you make it R20 000?

    I don’t know what’s going on here? All this manifested in five minutes. Perhaps there’s something to this positive thinking, law of attraction and manifestation stuff?

    So, now I’m scratching around YouTube and watching Joe Dispenza, Delores Canon, Sadhguru, and a bunch of others to get to the bottom of this manifestation thing.

    Maybe there’s something to it all.

    I’ve started with affirmations. Every morning, I affirm: “What if life, business, money, wealth, prosperity, and abundance come easily, joyfully, and gloriously to me?”

    I’ll let you know how it pans out.

    *AI prompt: Miracles depicted in the unmistakable style of Salvador Dalí, surrealism, melting clocks, dreamlike atmosphere, vibrant colours, meticulous attention to detail, oil on canvas, large format, museum-worthy artwork.

  • Ingratitude is the ultimate discourtesy

    Ingratitude is the ultimate discourtesy

    I recently finished reading Muhammad: A Prophet for Our Time by Karen Armstrong, a renowned author on comparative religion.

    There was a piece about the definition of kafir that piqued my interest. For my South African reader, you know that we have our own distasteful history with the word “kaffir” which we annexed with great gusto from the British writer, H. Rider Haggard (see footnote at the end of this article).

    But today we are talking about kafir >>>

    I’ve always been led to believe that kafir meant a non-believer who has malevolent intentions towards Islam and Muslims. The kafirun (الكافرون) of Mecca were the non-believers who rejected the God of Muhammad.

    According to Armstrong, kafir derives from the root KFR (“ingratitude”), which implies a discourteous refusal of something that is offered with great kindness and generosity.

    I find that definition more preferable.

    I understand that by being invited to this experience is no small thing. That I was chosen to play in this theatre called life is a gift beyond comprehension. One that should be viewed with awe and gratitude.

    Every time I blame and complain, and feel the destructive desolation of self-pity, I’m no better than a kafir.

    I’ve come to learn that self-pity is an operating system. The more I wallow in it, the more I attract that which feeds it.

    Gratitude is an operating system too, the more I revel in it, the more I attract that which feeds it.

    I’m going to start doing more of the latter because gratitude truly is the grammar of success. Do you want to join me?

    Footnote. I love looking for the etymological roots of words. Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you’ll know that South Africa has a unique relationship with the k-word. Not that it’s any consolation, but neither the Dutch nor the Afrikaner invented the word. The British writer H. Rider Haggard, who lived in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, often used the word “kaffir” in his novels about Africa. This term was used to refer to black people in the region at that time. We may not have invented the word, but hell, we certainly milked it dry.

  • Do You Think The World Doesn’t Love You?

    Do You Think The World Doesn’t Love You?

    The other day a friend of mine made a statement that gave me a moment to pause.

    “Do you know what your problem is, Jacques?” “You think that the world doesn’t love you?”

    I was shocked. In those eight words he’d summed up my view of the world.

    But so what? My view is no different to millions of other souls trying to navigate this human endeavour. The world isn’t a friendly place. Isn’t it my lot to suffer through this thing and hopefully, I’ll hit heaven when it’s all over? Isn’t that what it’s about?

    Come on. It gave me two fathers, one absent and one abusive. It messed up my plans to spend a gap year after I left the army. It gave me an average brain that couldn’t muster up the marks to get into university. It sent me countless women to break my heart and mess with my head. It halved my hearing. It has given me one financial burden after another. It has left me looking back over what’s left of this journey with regret and remorse.

    It’s obvious that the world hates me.

    But is this true?

    “How can the universe be hostile to me when everything I am made of comes from it.” – Intent – Exploring the Source of Being Human

    Am I not part of the universe? Isn’t the very fact that there is a universe and that I have chosen to live in it something of a miracle? When I look at my daughter, haven’t I already got more than I’ll ever need and deserve?

    When I look at it this way, then it is obvious that I should change my view that the world is a fearful place that despises me. Perhaps I should pay attention and realise that the world is an awesome place that loves me.

    As I am part of it, why would it want to harm me and in so doing, harm itself? The better it treats me, the better it treats itself.

    But to see the world as a benevolent and not malevolent place, will take some work on my part. I’ve actually got to step up and take responsibility for how I interact in it.

    1. First, I need to realise that whatever my situation, it’s 100% because of me. The universe has given me exactly what I have created in my head and my heart.
    2. Second, I need to realise that all the material things that I’m striving for … to make me feel secure and significant, wont. “No bank account is big enough to fill the hole in the chest called insecurity.” – Intent – Exploring the Source of Being Human. My real job is to get my head, heart and soul in order. The rest is all a bit of a sideshow really. Every second of every day, every setback, every triumph and every interaction is there to instruct. It gives me an opportunity to exercise the gift that even the angels weren’t given: Choice. I can choose my response. I can choose to be fearful or awesome. I can choose to be selfish or selfless. I can choose to be bitter or better. I can choose to make every moment that I have left, marvellous.
    3. Third, I need to have an attitude of gratitude. If I interrogate gratitude … it’s probably the most important feeling to have – everything else is subordinate to it. When I realise that I’m exactly where I should be, that I have already been given more than I will ever need and that the world is a friendly and awesome place, then I can be truly grateful.

    Photo Credit: http://betterthansurviving.me/2011/12/

     

  • Why People Irritate Me

    Why People Irritate Me

    I find people irritating. Not everyone, you understand. Just some of them.

    You know the ones.

    Those that say they’re going to do something and don’t.

    • Those that are humble and self-effacing when they shouldn’t be.
    • Those that say they’re going to lose weight and then don’t do anything about it.
    • Those that say they’re going to write the next big thing and then slumber in front of the television.

    They drive me to absolute distraction and to be honest, loathing.

    Of course, you know the real truth of the matter, don’t you?

    These traits that I so abhor in other people are exactly the ones that I carry.

    “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung

    Jung’s right, of course. All I’m doing is projecting my own issues onto these people.

    So, whenever I feel judgemental towards others, I take a moment to pause and ask myself “where are these feelings coming from?”

    And, when I pause, I realise that the very behaviours that the other person is doing is exactly the one that I’m doing too.

    So, what’s really happening is that I’m getting irritated with myself because I feel that I’m falling short of the standards I have set myself.

    It’s, of course, easy to point fingers at others so as to deflect the attention off me.

    The reverse is also true. When people look at me in irritation nine times out of 10 I know they’re irritated with themselves too. Because they see something in me that they don’t like because it sits in them too.

    So, when the ‘Lady doth protest too much’, don’t rise to the bait. Before you respond to the person, try and figure out what it is that is really bugging them so that you can diffuse added tension.

    But, living in a state of constant irritation is also not a healthy state-of-affairs. So figure out what it is about others that irritate you and if it is you projecting your own inadequacies, then do something about it.

    So, in my case I would have to keep my word, start claiming my magnificence, stop stuffing my face and exercise more and talk less and write more.

    But, not everything is projection. Sometimes our behaviour is unacceptable and we need to own that it is. As Sigmund Freud said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”. So, men, when you leave the toilet seat up there’s no projection issues from your significant other. She’s right, you’re just an inconsiderate lout that needs to take cognisance of other people’s needs and feelings.