Tag: meaning

  • Is your comfort zone keeping you safe or small?

    Is your comfort zone keeping you safe or small?

    “Alas, for those who never sing, but die with the music in them.”

    Oliver Wendell Holmes

    As an author, I’m well versed in the Hero’s Journey storyline. It is the most used tool in stories, movies, television, books etc. Think Star Wars and Harry Potter.

    As writers and marketers we use the Hero’s Journey in our text as well (to a lesser or greater degree). Our hero is ambling along in his/her normal life. An inciting incident disrupts normal life (geyser bursts, we get ill, relationships fuck out, our car licence expires and so on). We then accept the call to fix the problem and thus go on an adventure. We find a mentor (service provider). We go through trials. We go through the dark night of the soul. We get the prize. We take the elixir back to our tribe so that they benefit. We learn valuable lessons. We grow. We are better off.

    You get the picture.

    Most people prefer the status quo

    Here’s the problem, though. Most people don’t really want to grow, become better and dent the universe. We’re quite happy to stay in our ordinary world … in our comfort zone. The zone where our dreams go to die.

    This is understandable, of course.

    I don’t know about you, but every time I venture over the wall of comfort, I run into a lot of pain. As a writer, the pain comes wrapped up in rejection and ridicule.

    And, danger.

    In my case, I also write copy for clients. If the stuff I write is too far out there for them, I could lose the job. I have to eat, so I take the coward’s (or realist’s) route and go back to writing banal and safe copy. I go back to both our comfort zones because it is safer and less painful there (for both of us).

    But that’s the problem with a comfort zone. We go to it because it is supposed to keep us safe. But, actually, all it does is keep our lives small.

    Let no one kid you. When you step out of your comfort zone, you are going to be massively uncomfortable and feel pain. That’s just the way it is. But if you accept the call to adventure, and can cut through the Gordian Knot of complexity, pain and discomfort, the whole of Asia will open up for you. A magical world full of endless possibilities awaits you.

    There’s one thing that every Hero’s Journey has that will make the journey easier, and that’s a mentor.

    Taking the first step of your journey towards endless possibilities is not the real thing that takes courage. It’s opening yourself up to possible (highly likely) failure and disappointment.

    The superpower that will get you through this is vulnerability. Without being vulnerable, you can’t move forward. And, we all need help with moving forward, don’t we?

    That’s why we have to become vulnerable, and open ourselves up to being helped. We have to ask for help. We need mentors.

    I don’t know about you, but that’s where my courage is tested. I could ask for help, and get rejected. Just the thought of being rejected makes me want to throw up and cringe in fear. It makes me want to avoid asking for help so that I can scuttle back to my comfort zone … the place where my dreams go to die.

    Of course, it doesn’t have to be like that, does it? Become vulnerable and ask for help so that you can move forward. What if you could enter a world of endless possibilities? How would that feel? How would that look?

    I think it would feel fabulous.

    Remember, you were created as a masterpiece whose job it is to craft a master-work.

    Go. Go do this.

    I can’t wait to see what mischief you’re going to get up to. Whatever it is, it will benefit you and, by extension, us.

  • From superficial to stupendous

    From superficial to stupendous

    Have you ever experienced the relief when a car alarm that has been going off for the last hour, stops?

    Suddenly you can take a breath and think clearly again.

    But, if it isn’t a car alarm, it’s some other distraction that’ll keep us out of our heads.

    I love distraction because the reality is that it stops me from thinking. More specifically, it stops me from thinking about myself. And, it stops me from living an authentic life.

    I like to keep it light and superficial because sometimes it is hard to deal with myself. I don’t want to have to ask (and answer) questions like, “why am I where I’m at?”, “am I happy and do I even know what will make me happy?”, “why am I not achieving my goals?”.

    Because if I’m forced to answer these questions I might not be happy with what comes out.

    I may just come to the realisation that I’m 100% responsible for the how my life has turned out. And, when I have nobody to blame but myself … that’s a bitter pill to swallow. Because once you come to that realisation that there’s nowhere to hide, then you have to deal with yourself. And, that can be hard.

    Thus, I keep myself busy so that I don’t have to face the reality of what I have created … my life.

    Theologian Frederich Buechner puts it more eloquently than I ever could, “We shy away from introspection because however fearful the surface seems, we fear the depths still more.

    Of course we fear the depths and try and keep things light and on the surface. But, it is only when we go deep that we can really figure things out for ourselves.

    And, when we truly plumb the depths of our hearts and souls and realise that, yes, we really are 100% responsible for creating our world, it can be quite liberating.

    Because if we’re 100% responsible, we have the power to change any situation we’re in right now.

    So, if you’re not happy with something in your life, you have the choice to do something about it right now.

    Take yourself off the grid for a while and shut the ‘alarm’ off so that you can come to grips with who you really are.

    Have the courage to go deep so that you can turn your life from superficial to stupendous. The journey is worth it, I promise you.

    Photo by Zsolt Zsigmond