Sunday, 31 May 2020
How long has this lockdown been. 8 weeks? 9 weeks? I don’t know. It feels interminable. I feel like I have no voice in this new world. It has brought the best and the worst out of me. It has united and polarised us. It has unmasked the biases I didn’t know I had … and, never wanted to confront. I think that many of us are clamouring to be heard. We want to know that we still have voice, that we still matter and that there is still meaning. We’re not being heard and not being seen None of us. We’re ghosts …
I cook. I clean. I wash. I work. I drive. I love. I shout. I scream. They don’t hear me. They don’t see me. I’m alone. I’m a mother. I’m a ghost.
I fix things. I work. I pick up. I drop off. I love. I shout. I scream. They don’t hear me. They don’t see me. I’m lonely. I’m a father. I’m a ghost.
I stand on the street corner. I work. I wave my sign. I smile. I look frail. I’m hungry. I’m lonely. I’m hurt. I love. I shout. I scream. Why don’t they see me? Why don’t they hear me? I’m a beggar. I’m a ghost.
I study. I eat. I stay in my room. I do chores. I love. I’m lonely. I try to fit in. I don’t fit in. Why am I invisible? I shout. I scream. I’m a son. I’m a daughter. I’m a ghost.
I’m restless. I’m needy. I’m unfulfilled. I’m weak. I’m powerless. I want to be loved. I want to love. I’m lost. I’m lonely. I’m alone. Someone notice me … please. I’m human. I’m a ghost.
If like me, you’ve ever felt lost, unappreciated, unloved, unfulfilled, regretful, guilty, dissatisfied, disjointed, fractured or disappointed, then you know what a ghost feels like.
It cannot get peace (and leave this realm) because it’s trapped in a pit of self-pity, a river of regret and a desert of depression.
It’ll only be released to blessed peace and the bosom of mother Eden when it lets go of its expectations of how the world should be.
If it expects the world to be appreciative, loving and grateful for it being sentient, it’ll be damned to an eternity of regret, dissatisfaction and disappointment.
The ghost can only find solace when it realises that the world owes it nothing. Its children owe it nothing. Its boss owes it nothing. Its employees owe it nothing. Its spouse owes it nothing. The planet owes it nothing.
It will only find peace and move on when it realises that it owes everything – appreciation, happiness, awe, gratitude and love to the world and those that rent space in it.
We should make peace with the world as it is now and make peace with our role in it. The consequences and regret of not doing so will last for an eternity. Once the ghost allows itself to accept things as they are, and gives itself up with grace, only then will it be released into an eternity of joy.
This piece of text is a vignette from my book, What If Hollywood Doesn’t Call? A Fractured Monk’s Guide To Enlightenment. I wrote it a year or so ago, it feels like I wrote it for today.
Goodbye and hello PechaKucha Johannesburg
I popped you a message on Friday regarding the future of PechaKucha Johannesburg. If you missed it, you can read it here.
Guess the author
I’d love your help. Have a look at the doodle below. Who’s the author you’d think of first? If you have the time and inclination, please pop me an email with who you think it is. In next week’s newsletter, I’ll reveal the results and the rationale behind the question.
Do you remember last week’s piece called Those People? Apparently, I have learned a new skill in lockdown and turned it into a short (01:04) video. It’s a wonderful way to repurpose the key points of your written content. Have a peek at it and let me know what you think.
My best to you,
Let me write your EPIC legacy story.
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