Commercial Decision Design

Day: May 10, 2020

  • Fractured Monk

    Fractured Monk

    Things have been strange for me lately. I’ve thrown more tantrums than a colic baby in the last three months. More than I have in the last eight years. I’m moody. I’m inflexible both physically and mentally. I’m impatient. I avoid courageous conversations. I’ve become taciturn and insular. I’m scared, fractured and forlorn.

    Folks that know me don’t understand my behaviour and of course, neither do I. Sometimes they’ll say something like, “You’re so spiritual. You should be above these feelings.”

    If they only knew that spiritually I’m about as conscious and complex as an Amoeba. I suppose that’s why I feel like an imposter most of the time when it comes to things spiritual.

    That got me thinking. Do we think that our spiritual teachers are above this human experience? Do our monks, rabbis, imams, pastors, shamans and priests take this path because they’re whole and near-perfect?

    They might portray an air of confidence. They look like they know something the rest of us don’t. They even look like they can show us the way to redemption. But they know that they’re faking it like the rest of us. They’re just as frail and fractured like you and me. I’ll bet that they feel like imposters too.

    They’re fractured monks like the rest of us.

    That’s why we shouldn’t be too shocked and judgmental when they falter and fall.

    I don’t believe anyone ends up in a church, mosque or synagogue because they’re fixed and perfect. And, those that lead their congregants are less so. They know they have lots of work to do on themselves.

    In my opinion, that’s the only worthwhile work there is, is working on oneself.

    It’s the only thing that we have some semblance of control over. We have little if any control on what others do but we do have control of ourselves.

    Why is self-work important? I believe that every answer we seek is in us. I believe that we have the same knowledge as our creator. We’ve just forgotten it. It’s our job to remember that knowledge.

    The only way we can do that is to spend time with ourselves. We need to dip out of the world, the noise and the pretence from time-to-time so that we can listen for the real answers.

    We need to go into the silence that only meditation can bring. When we pray we’re speaking to God and when we meditate God is speaking to us.

    I think it’s probably as simple as that. Be silent and hear God’s whisper.

  • You’re an unlimited masterpiece

    You’re an unlimited masterpiece

    If you’re like me, I’m sure that you want to leave at least one magnum opus before you depart this world. You want to leave a masterpiece and leave a legacy. And, maybe you want to become Einstein, da Vinci and Bieber-famous?

    You want people at your graveside singing eulogies of praise for the positive difference you made in the world.

    The thing is that relatively soon after your funeral you’ll be forgotten and become a fraction of a footnote in the grand scheme of things.

    If your intent is to become famous and make a difference, it’s an exercise in futility. If your intent is to fulfill your potential and do magnificent work, then that’s a different story altogether.

    But there’s a disconnect between what the world sees as great work and what really is great work.

    What’s your greatest work and whose to say you haven’t already done it? Some would say that it’s the book they wrote, the piece of art they created or the handy tool they invented. In my case, it feels like my one and only magnum opus is co-creating my daughter nearly 15 years ago. All my other ‘achievements’ pale into insignificance.

    There’s not one great piece of work that defines our existence. I think that our journey comprises of many magna opera. We can argue that when Phaestis birthed Aristotle; when Perictione birthed Plato; when Caterina birthed da Vinci; when Mary birthed Jesus and when Aminah birthed Muhammad, it was their greatest works.

    But that’s taking away from these mothers. They were more than incubators and and had other magna opera other than their sons. They never set out to have these ‘famous’ sons. It was more by luck than design (not their design, anyway) that they birthed these masterpieces.

    I suppose it depends on what we define as great work? Is it a piece of art, a piece of industry, a piece of literature or a piece of music?

    Or is the most significant magnum opus us? The human beings that we are. Are we the creator’s greatest work?

    I like to believe so. I like to believe that we were forged in the image of our creator. And, therefore, our work is to do great works every day. Our creator never made junk; only magna opera.

    I believe that every day we have an opportunity for many magna opera. Every time we interact with someone, it’s an opportunity to do a great work. Every time we are given a task, we can make it a masterpiece.

    The enchanting part of this whole thing is that most of us are never even aware of the the impact we’ve had in helping everyone else produce their own magna opera.

    If you’ve ever been kind to a stranger, loved someone, lifted up a child, soothed a sick one, let someone cry on your shoulder, given your ear to listen to someone in pain, held a hand, written something, painted something, composed something or mastered something then you created magna opera.

    Of course, the real trick is to do great works all the time and never expect anything in return. Doing great works is not about quid pro quo but rather about pro bono. And, ultimately, we do everything for one reason – pro deus (For God). The only way we can thank the creator for letting us play on this planet for a while, is to create masterpieces every single day.

    You probably don’t know of these souls, but all of them created their magna opera with a pro bono attitude.

    Mentor, Angelo Dundee, Jochebed, Charles Freer Andrews, Leigh Anne Tuohy, Feng-Shan Ho, Welles Crowther and Rebecca-Jade.

    • Mentor advisor to Odysseus and his son, Telemachus.
    • Angelo Dundee, mentor to Muhammad Ali.
    • Jochebed, Moses’s mother saved him from certain death.
    • Charles Freer Andrews was a friend of Gandhi and convinced him to come back to India from South Africa.
    • Leigh Anne Tuohy took in a homeless boy called Michael Oher who became a professional footballer (Gridiron).
    • Feng-Shan Ho saved 2000 Jews from the Holocaust.
    • Welles Crowther (24) saved a dozen people from the 911 tragedy in 2001, he didn’t make it out of the Twin Towers.
    • Rebecca-Jade, daughter to Jacques de Villiers, saved him from himself.

    You are the greatest work ever created. Now go and fulfil your destiny and release the magnum opera that sits in you. You do great works every day. You may never know how your work impacts others. But it does and that impacts all of us.

    Go now.

    Go do great work because you are the creator’s ultimate magnum opus.

    You’ve never been built to produce junk, you’ve been built to give of your all and create your best work, pro bono and with gratitude.

    Go and do it now.

  • Destinations are where dreams go to die

    Destinations are where dreams go to die

    It’s in our nature to want better things for ourselves. We dream of a better life. We dream of a bigger house. We dream of a better place. We dream of a better car. We want better food. Better education. Better body. You name it, we want it bigger, better and more.

    We’re focused outward with our eyes in the direction of our goals, dreams and aspirations.

    Like the Pandora myth, the last thing we have in our box of tricks is hope. Islands of hope in a sea mischief, misery and mayhem is what keeps us in the game of life.

    Without hope, most of us would give up and let despair engulf us. What would be the point of continuing if there was no end to our misery and suffering? Hope is the flame that keeps us going. It keeps us wanting for more, bigger and better. Hope is the eternal heartbeat that keeps us alive.

    But, what is hope about? Why do we strive for bigger and better for our lives? Surely, it’s so that we can feel secure, worthy, happy and fulfilled.

    The flip side of hope is that it can be a dangerous and dark force. It can stop us from achieving our goals and it can set us up for disappointment.

    In the first instance, we’re actually scared to achieve what we set out to do because we’re like the proverbial dog that chases the car … what does it do with it when it catches it?

    What if the thing we want is not the actual thing we want? What if it’s a big fat disappointment? What if we still feel insecure, unfulfilled, powerless and out of harmony?

    So, we sabotage our dreams so that we don’t achieve what we want. Of course, whilst something is out of our reach that we want, we can always keep the flame of hope alive.

    They Lived Happily Ever After

    In the second instance, few stories delve into what’s after the ‘happily ever after’. Nobody digs into the drama and disappointment of having and owning the things we desire. How did it work out for the Prince that married Snow White? He had seven extra mouths to feed. And, that was after he wiped the noses and cleaned the backsides of his two children. He’d go to bed with Snow White’s shrill voice ringing in his ears, “We need a bigger castle. Sleepy needs a better bed, Grumpy needs more Prozac and Dopey needs an education. You’re never home. How can I present myself to court with this dress? Why aren’t you King yet?”

    The more we get, the more challenges are attached to what we have. Things become more complicated and stressful. Soon the Prince will wish (and hope) for the days gone by. When all he had to do was shoot deer, kill other men in some far-flung land, drink beer and flirt with anything in a skirt. Snow White too will have her own dreams. She’ll be coquettish with the King (who is widowed). Who wants to be a Princess when you can be a Queen? She’ll remember when she got high with Happy and dumbed it down with Dopey. Ah, those were the days … carefree, unfettered and uncomplicated.

    Destinations can kill dreams

    It appears that the destinations we want to go to and the things we want can be dream killers. In real life, they don’t live up to the picture we’ve created in our mind.

    Why is this? There’s no easy answer. But, one that works for me is that the world never gives you precisely what you want, does it?

    • How long does that ‘new car smell’ last before we’re hankering for a newer and better car?
    • How long before we’re dissatisfied with the house we live in, and want a bigger and better one?
    • How long are we satisfied with our partner before we want to upgrade?

    It’s clear to me that the more we want from the world, the less satisfied we are. And, the more we have, the more insecure we are because we are afraid that it’ll be taken from us.

    The trick is not to figure out what we can take from the world but rather what we can give to the world. The trick is not to have a bigger house, car and life but to have a bigger purpose.

    I’ve dreamed of

    I’ve hankered for things. I’ve dreamed of exotic destinations. I’ve got some of the things I hankered for and I’ve been to some of the destinations I’ve dreamed of. That iPad I had to have; where’s it now? I gave it to my daughter, Rebecca. I think she’ll get more use out of it than I can. The top of the range Macbook Pro is now only used for presenting my keynotes. Now days when I train people, I use a flip chart whilst the Macbook Pro gathers dust. I write this article on a 10 year old, iMac desktop. The Tag Heuer lies in the drawer for months at a time. The Mercedes lost its magic long time ago.

    I couldn’t handle more than a week in Mauritius, Hamilton Island or the Kruger National Park. Beautiful and spectacular as they are, they wore thin after three days. I hankered more for connection. I dreamt of being useful. I searched for purpose. I started looking inwards as opposed to the outer beauty that was around me. The same happened in Italy and France. All the culture, croissants and castles couldn’t keep me happy for long. I was still the same human with its foibles, fears, insecurities and hopes. The destination didn’t change my inner situation.

    The exotic destinations didn’t make my dreams come true. In fact, my dreams died there. I’m unconvinced that we were born to lie on the beach and soak up the sun. I’m unconvinced that the two-week holiday we hanker for every year will ever fill our hearts.

    I have to agree with Carlos Castaneda when he said, “All paths are the same; they lead nowhere.” He added that we should find a path with heart. The trick of finding a path with heart is not in the outward journey … not in the destination.

    For me, a path with heart is an inner journey. Finding out and discovering who we really are, how we can connect with others and be useful to them is a path that can ignite hearts. This path leads to happiness and fulfilment. This path doesn’t care whether we’re in a one-bedroomed flat in Yeoville or a 5-star hotel in Monte Carlo. This path can make us happy no matter our circumstances. It’s a path of purpose. It’s a path where we get to choose how we respond.

    Think about your purpose

    If we think about purpose, what makes us happy, fulfilled and harmonious? We get those feelings when our purpose is to connect and help other people. When we start to realise that we’re here for others and not ourselves. When we start to realise that we’re here to set others up for success. We get joy out of bringing joy to others and not from the things we own or the destinations we dream of.

    So, let’s connect, let’s contribute and let’s make this world a better place for everyone. That’s something worthwhile to hope for, isn’t it?