My friend Dave runs a number of successful businesses. He is successful because he gets it. He gets that a ‘What I Need’ (win) attitude is never as effective as a ‘What We Need’ mind-set. Dave is good at setting others up to win.
Dave understands that if he helps enough people get what they want, he’ll get what he wants … to be secure, to live in harmony, to become autonomous and feel fulfilled. I’ll get back to Dave in a while.
When I take the time to look around me all I see is a competitive landscape where a ‘winner takes all’ attitude abounds.
We compete for resources, for jobs, for positions, for mates and for survival. This competition very often leads to a ‘win at all costs’ mind-set.
The challenge with a ‘What I Need’ attitude is that it often excludes those outside our own inner circle. And, when we exclude those that don’t have what we have (and want what we have), that could lead to conflict ultimately.
In competitive sport going all out for the win is a good thing, in everyday life, not so much.
For us all to win takes courage. The courage to get out of the competitive, winner takes all mind-set and switch to a collaborative mind-set where we set each other up to win.
If you look at great sports teams, players suspend their ego and agenda for the good of the team. They set each other up to win. And, when they do that, the entire team wins (or at least has a good shot at winning).
Now just take that mind-set into our own lives. By caring for each other and collaborating to set each other up for a win, surely it follow that we’ll have more harmonious families, workplaces, cities and countries.
There’d be less selfishness and more selflessness. There’d be less ‘I’ and more ‘we’. There’d be less lack and more abundance.
I believe that there is abundance. There is more than enough for all of us. It is up to all of us to make the pie bigger so that we all get a shot at sharing in it.
I said I’d get back to Dave …
Dave believes that there is enough for all of us. I’ll never forget the day he showed me that it is possible to have the courage to set others up for a win even if it is not expedient for you.
A competitor of Dave’s factory burnt down. Dave approached him and offered to create a space in his own factory for the competitor to continue working until he got back onto his own two feet.
Now that’s setting someone up for a win!
If we have any chance of making this human experience work, then we need to start collaborating and setting each other up to win.