The Fuckening

Jacques de Villiers – writing quest: Article 30/365

I found a beautiful Facebook post by My Little Witch that talks about how we create (spell) our reality.

The Fuckening

When your day is going too well, and you don’t trust it and some shit finally goes down.

Ah, there it is, the fuckening. 

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I’ve caught myself thinking things like:

• This is too good to be true. (When it comes to investments hidden as Ponzi schemes, it probably is too good to be true). 
• Bad things happen in threes.
• This will never last.
• It was just a fluke (when you speak universe, you know there is no such thing as a fluke).

Have you ever had a ‘well-meaning’ friend put the above thoughts into your head? Don’t you just want to scream when they jinx things? 

• When you’re in a new relationship, “Be careful, you know how you got hurt last time.” Thanks for that, I wasn’t thinking that until you said it. Now why don’t I create that self-fulfilling prophecy for myself?
• When you get a new car, “It’s lovely. Wow, your insurance must be expensive. The fuel as well.” That didn’t occur to me, but thanks for sucking the fun out of my experience.

I shared an incident that happened to me on the Noordhoek beach with a friend.

I told my friend that I’d met a woman on the way to the car park from the beach, and we got chatting. I stubbed my toe on a rock on the way. My friend said, “Oh, what are you not trusting?” Clearly she’s a toe whisperer. I was more Freud about it, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” The woman was beautiful, and I was admiring her and not watching where I was going. More clumsy and distracted than ‘not trusting’, I thought. But I humoured her because when it comes to things spiritual and assigning meaning to things, she’s really smart.

I pondered about my trust issues that day. Phew, that opened a can of worms which I believe carried into the next day.

I used to walk up Chapman’s Peak every morning and down a well-trodden path through Monkey Valley to the beach. I’d walked that path every day for nearly 10 months without mishap. I’m still pondering my trust issues and found myself focusing on not falling. I stepped on a rock that I’d stepped on hundreds of times with no incident. I fell, and my knee got cut. What the fuckening?

I phoned her and told her what had happened. She said, “Oh, why are you so inflexible? You must absolutely explore that!” Not only is she the toe whisperer, but the knee whisperer as well.

I’m thinking, fuckening that. It’s bad enough having trust issues, now I have to explore my inflexibility too. I don’t think so.   

She then said, “Watch out, bad things happen in threes.”

Fuckening that, I’m not going for a swim like I normally do. I know that shark is waiting just for me.